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  Want To Survive While Flying? Follow These 9 Easy Tips

  Posted by ObscureandFuzzy on February 19, 2025 at 6:38 pm

  Want To Survive While Flying? Follow These 9 Easy Tips

  1. Avoid flying Delta, United, American, Southwest, and Alaska: Strangely, Spirit should be totally fine.

  2. Log as many hours on Microsoft Flight Simulator 98 as possible before your trip: This’ll come in handy if you’re needed to help the pilot land the plane.

  3. Make sure the pilot is a middle-aged retired fighter pilot named “Chuck”: And he should have a mustache.

  4. Sew together 100 hot towels to form a parachute: Might come in handy.

  5. Bring your mom so she can put her arm over your chest like a seatbelt if the plane stops suddenly: This will save your life.

  6. Sit between two morbidly obese passengers for cushioning: The tubbier, the better.

  7. Poke your head into the cockpit and remind the flight crew to check if the wings are still attached: Follow it up with a polite “I just wanted to tell you both good luck, we’re all counting on you.”

  8. Travel by a Chinese rickshaw instead: A 98% less chance of dying in a fiery explosion.

  9. Practice jumping so you can jump off the airplane floor right before a crash and avoid 100% of the impact: It’s proven to be effective in elevators, so it stands to reason it’ll work on a plane.

  https://babylonbee.com/news/want-to-survive-while-flying-follow-these-9-easy-tips

  

  babylonbee.com

  Want To Survive While Flying? Follow These 9 Easy Tips

  With air travel seeming far more dangerous than usual lately, passengers have been looking for ways to feel more secure about their upcoming flights. Fortunately, there are some simple and easy tricks that can boost your chances of survival.

  ObscureandFuzzy replied 2 months, 4 weeks ago 1 Member · 0 Replies
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