Being married, I want to find someone that I feel I can trust and be safe with sexually. I find that there are alot of men who take it very lightly and will hookup in a heartbeat. Some get offended when you ask too many questions. Does anyone have a good rule of thumb for deciding who to have sex with? And, should it be like minded men, meaning another bi guy as opposed to gay?
As Alpha said, being bi-sexual set to the side, stepping out on your partner without consent from your partner is still being unfaithful to that partner. Who you do the nasty with is irrelevant to that. If your wife is consenting, then I would find another bi-sexual man who is also in an open marriage situation…that is optimal. Now. I live in the world of reality, so, if you are going to have an extramarital affair with another man, then please find a sane man who is willing to go and get tested for HIV or STIs and you need to do the same. And make sure this person is not a needy fuck like so many of these guys that contact us on RJ…if they want you to be the LOVE OF THEIR LIFE, or I am a loving person and will do anything to make you happy, kind of guy, that fucker is nuts. Steer clear. They have a snake’s agenda and want to fuck up your life, destroy your marriage and make everyone innocent pay…think Fatal Attraction! Until you find a sane, like minded bi dude who has the same goals and is clean sexually, Get a Fleshlight, watch some gay porn and that would be safer.
Could not have given better advice than Lifter67! Consider finding another bi-identified married guy and having some type of closed-loop relationship that protects everyone’s sexual health and your marriages. It’s basically an exclusive arrangement with another bi married guy who has as much to lose as you do. There used to be an online group (Yahoo?) with the description “closed-loop” in the name.
Lots of good advice here. I’ve chatted with guys on here who are really keen to explore their sexuality but are really conscious of what the outfall could be: loss of long term relationships, family, financial loss, losing contact with their kids etc. If you do find that ‘special guy’ having a strong connection is a must and then if it goes further, make sure it’s your brain that’s in action before something else! On the other hand, keeping your sanity while managing your sexuality is major!
So far, the concensus seems to be finding another like-minded bi married guy. That’s exactly what I always thought. Let me put out this scenario: If someone gay who is not promiscuous, takes Prep, lives alone/can host, offers to give you oral with no reciprocation AND even with a condom (to make it even safer), would you?
hmmmm….that is a HUGE hypothetical. LOL. And, just for the record, I trust no one. Not because people are untrustworthy, but because life happens to us and what we think it going to happen turns into what is really going to happen.
I am in the same situation. I have had a few hookups but it took lots of time and getting to know the person. I found a nice guy who is gay and has a partner and was safe and open to me about all. I have him, other than that I enjoy getting online on skype and getting off with another guy however we can haha