I married young (age 24) to the only woman I’d ever been sexually active with. We had a mostly satisfying sex life until she went through menopause about 10 years ago. Over the last 5 years, I’ve discovered a long repressed part of myself that’s given me a new lease on life. I don’t really want to blow up my marriage but I’d love the freedom to further explore. Anyone else in a similar situation?
I feel you man. It is so tough when you love your wife and you are bi-sexual. It really isn’t about her or the sex because having sex with a woman is AWESOME!!! It is just about wanting more than the sex you’re having. And having the urge to be with a man sexually. They are two VERY different experiences, however…..Have you been with a man yet or just exploring options?
I can relate completely to your post and the other replies. I believe it is much more difficult being bi because you enjoy sex with both women and men. However, being married to a woman does not allow you (usually) to explore the bi side with men. Most women will not accept this.
Thanks for the feedback. I do love my wife and have never been with another woman. We have a great family too including kids and grandkids. But our married sex life waned and then stopped altogether. I don’t blame her; intercourse became too painful. She never liked giving head and consequently wasn’t very good at it. I began having some m2m experiences that really opened me up sexually. The first time another guy blew me, I thought “oh, that’s how it’s supposed to feel.” It’s also been great for my ego to be desired by other men, especially those younger than me. I found out I’m a total top. I feel like I’m only going to have a certain number of years left to enjoy sex so I take advantage of opportunities to safely indulge that side of myself. My ideal situation would be to stay married but have an open relationship, a “don’t ask, don’t tell” understanding that I’m getting my needs met elsewhere.
Big sigh. I know everyone wants us to do the “right” thing…but really, if your wife and you love each other and you have been in the marriage for a long time and there is nothing but sex that is lacking…go have sex with someone that wants to have sex with you. Being married as long as you have there is SO MUCH to consider. Your shared assets, your shared wealth, your family and family time…Is it worth it to divorce over this? I really don’t think so. People always want marriage to just be an emotional attachment, and that’s romantic and all, but I live in the practical world. Marriage is a business, economic and social arrangement as much as it is about love. In the end, your wife probably would love to just be left alone and not know about how you get your rocks off. I know when I don’t want sex, I don’t give a shit where my partner needs to find it…The only loyalty I need is don’t be and dick and not use protection and give me something more than my druthers when you get home… And your sex life is private and personal unless you are a porn star and even they don’t have sex if front of their family members. So, keep it private, keep it safe and keep your marriage.
Cheer up my friend! Go step by step in this with your wife, do not rush because it is a very delicate and personal issue to try to keep your real thoughts and your marriage at the same time. I am a bi bottom and I have been with married men before and I know how much they protect their marriages but at the same time the feel like trapped in 4 walls all the time.
when I got married I had experimented with guys and liked it, but also love being with my wife so I put it all behind me. I was good until the internet came along and made it easy to chat and come into contact with guys like myself. Then I discovered that younger men like older men and that opened another door. I had some fun at times, but was careful just jo and oral. Skype has opened a new door. I can get intimate with a guy online and get my needs met.