[metta]

The genie who got rubbed the wrong way

A gay man was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a genie’s lamp. He rubbed it and out popped a gay genie, who said, “Hey Girl, wassup?”
The amazed man asked if he got three wishes.

“Nope, just one,” said the genie. “Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages and my new pumps pinching my toes, I can only grant you one wish. So … what’ll it be? The complete set of Bel Ami videos? A copy of the Marilyn Monroe ‘Happy Birthday Mr. President’ sequined dress in your size with matching shoes?”
The man shook his head. “No, I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting one other.”

The genie looked at the map and said, “Miss Thaaaaang, not in this lifetime!! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good, but not THAT good! Make another wish.”

The man thought for a minute. “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man. Could you grant me a boyfriend?”

“Of course!” said the genie gleefully. “What’d you have in mind?”

The man starts ticking off all the qualities he wanted: considerate, fun, warm, affectionate, handsome, hung, doesn’t drink or take drugs too much, has a great job, likes to cook, is fabulous in bed and helps clean the house.

The Genie let out a long sigh as his chin slumped to his chest. Without looking up, he stuck his hand out and said, “Let me see that map again.”