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I've been a life-long top (all of six years now; since the days of dating women to the present) and recently had a debate with a friend. Somehow we got on the subject of preferences and I mentioned I hadn't done it yet because I want to meet someone worth that pain and that I want to do it for. He asked why I didn't have the same mindset when topping a guy. To which I responded, I don't need something up my ass to make me cum and there is really no mental committment to topping. Besides, if you do everything for every and any one, what makes a bf special? Not being judgemental, I'd just like to hear others opinions on if either topping or bottoming is more "sacred".

Topic: Is Topping or Bottoming More "sacred"?

Well, I don't think Either is more "sacred".

I've been thinking about this a good bit just lately, and I was looking at it from this Viewpoint and perhaps this might be Helpful, I hope so. Here goes.

If you know about Phi and the Golden Mean Proportion, it will help. I've noticed that amazingly, quite often, Guys that Look like they would be Tops, i.e., Big and Tall, Muscular, surprisingly turn out to be Bottom by their own site admission, or Bottom/Versatile. I consider myself Versatile, but quite often I end up topping and certainly like to. I'm short and sometimes it does hurt me if I bottom. So, perhaps the guys that REALLY enjoy bottoming more have a longer proportioned rectum, so that they more naturally accomodate a larger guy and simultaneoulsy it Really Feels better to them, in that they get the right amount of Prostrate Stimulation.
Because I've had moments where it did feel REALLY GOOD, but could quickly go to pain with the wrong angle.
So, is it possible that guys that get the most enjoyment out of bottoming have a larger porportioined rectum?
My partner told me that he had the most intense orgasm while bottoming, so that speaks volumes about "why" some guys enjoy bottoming more.
I do think, it probably is more physiological then psychological in this instance, though that always plays a part as well.

"I hadn't done it yet because I want to meet someone worth that pain and that I want to do it for."

What pain? :D

I concur. Done right it doesn't hurt at all; quite the opposite in fact.
You know what they say, practice makes perfect!

Does being a bottom make you less masculine? I'd be afraid I'd have given up the one last thing that makes me a man. It seems you can do almost anything as a guy except take it up the ass. Although I do admit it sounds pleasurable when you consider the prostate and all that.

Make you less masculine? First off, how? Second, Why care? You're not running around the streets screaming that you recieved anal sex.... I hope.... so if you're super concerned with what people think of you, which is sad, its still not going to affect your image.

To the OP: I feel the same way. I'll only bottom for someone I REALLY care about.

To the others: It DOES hurt. Apparently it hurts for some and not for others. I don't know what the difference is, but I don't like the feeling of recieving, personally. Maybe that will change when I meet the right person, who knows how to do it properly. I dont know

The difference is size, buddy. It all depends on how stretched out the anus is and how big the top's dick is. And as one previous poster pointed out, the length of the rectum.

I've never had sex with a guy, but it doesn't take much to realize what the reason is if one thinks about it. "Potty" experiences should teach one that. LOL

"sacred" no.

I agree with the OP, in the fact of wanting to save it for someone special. When I had sex for the first time with a guy I knew that I was a top without question, so there was no conflict or second-quessing. But eventhough it was somewhat enjoyable looking back over it now I wish had waited to top someone I at least had feelings for. I view the possiblity of bottoming even at a higher level.

If you are a top that has never bottomed before and a little scared to find out some bottom knowledge you may want to skip my post.

****

I don't think that either is more sacred than the other. I do feel that there are more tops than bottoms. Personally I am a versatile/bottom.

I prefer to bottom, but lately the guys that I hook-up with have been wanting me to top. The first time that I ever bottomed it did hurt a little.

For those that are bi or used to/still have sex with women it is the equivalent of them being fucked for the first time. There is a little soarness, you're not sure what to expect, and you will probably tense up the first few times.

If you relax, he is gentle, and there is lots of kissing the pain goes away. If he does it right, you will also cum without needing to be jacked off.

Neither position is SACRED.
But if you are in to anal sex, at least one of each is required. So they must really be equal despite their difference.
No one has to do anal. I know a couple that have been together 27 years on nothing more than blow jobs. They don't even kiss.

If you save yourself for Mr. Perfect, you may never find him. Or you may find him, you surrender your anal virginity, then he leaves you. And you no longer have that special bit to give to the real (next) Mr. Perfect. Is virginity the only case where ignorance is supposed to be good?

If I detected either atitude
a. "I'm on top so I'm more of a man than you."
or atitude b. "I might bottom some day, but you aren't worth it." - I would put my clothes on and leave right then or kick him out if it was my place.

i totally agree lynton9. im versatile and i think it is fun to flip when my boyfriend and i are having sex. it really works out with us because i like to top him first and get really worked up without cumming and then him top me. i like to get off while he is in me and he gets off inside of me at the same time. it works out great for us both.
For all you guys that are strictly tops just remember "if you wont bottom for your guy someone else will"

I was just thinking about a similar topic earlier today. I get the impression that there are (at least) two different schools of thought on bottoming. Some people find it erotic primarily because they see it as emblematic of trust, submission to, or intimacy with their partner. Other people seem to find it erotic because they find it quite physically pleasurable or have more intense orgasms ("if god didn't intend men to be gay, why'd she put their g-spot in their ass?"--Sophia) I personally feel that sacredness arises more from the relationship between partner(s) and has less to do with the positions you choose.

The comments on here about the length of the rectum really interesting--I'd never thought of that! Still, you've probably seen massive dildos before. Yes, people can and do take them all the way, so I'm inclined to think that again it probably has something to do with learning to mentally relax constrictions further up the colon.

If you're interested in working with your partner to make anal sex both mentally and physically pleasurable, check out "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men", written for kinky straight guys. ;-) Tristan Taormino's got some great instructional books and videos on painless anal, as well, even though they target more of the lesbian/heterosexual audience. Their general premise is that sex shouldn't hurt and that good anal sex takes practice. With patience, even techniques like fisting can and should be painless.

I like both the physical pleasure and submission aspects of anal sex.

No I'm 100% bottom I've topped a few times and I actually like to bottom MUCH better. I don't think topping or bottoming is sacred, personally the act of sex itself is sacred. So I have had a few one night stands, I'm not going to lie, but I regret having them. I can only have sex with someone I have a romantic attachment to. If I'm gonna let someone in me, then thats something very big for me. For that hour or two...or three he becomes me, and I become him. For that time we are literally connected and one person.

If I'm gonna of sex with someone I matter done well love them lol. Once i love someone they are in my heart, and then they will finally be inside my body. So to me at least, top or bottom, or anything like that isn't sacred, sex itself should be.

Hmmm we're talking about sex right?! this is all very deep which is not a negative thing...I think the emotional attachment is sacred but topping/bottoming it's all the same business. I am more of a bottom but i generally think there is more pressure in being a top, you're judged far more. I think being a bottom is the lazier option!

Although being a bottom involves a lot of effort, in the sense that i like to be good at what i do, pardon, i like to be the best.
jx

Something is inherently misplaced with that question.

When I started out, I didn't like bottoming despite of how much it felt good because my ego would tell me it made me the "lesser" of the two guys. But letting go of that ego allowed me to really enjoy it.

It'd definitely be nice to do it (as sex in general) with someone you have deep connection with, but even for a less meaningful sex, if you stop thinking of positions as sexual strata, it'd stop feeling like one.

If you decide that bottoming is more sacred, then it is - for you. What it means for the other guy, you'd have to ask.

fabians.. great comment. i started out as bottom when i stopped having sex with chics, then swayed towards topping later, but occasionally go both ways, depending on the company. my partner is a bottom but we connect on a higher level than just sex. if we concentrate and get the right position, i reach into his second sphincter muscle and it drives both of us wild! he can elaculate up to three times while i'm inside him. i've truly never had this experience with another guy.

if you are worried about the pain stop trying to nail every guy through the bed! It dont have to be painful, only when ya want it to be ;-)

It seems to be those that were once straight have a real big hang up with going bottom as a lot feel it is way too feminine! Funny thing is they are the ones that once they try it they are total cock jockeys!!! I should know ha ha ha ha!

Neither position is "sacred".Do what you feel comfortable with.I`m versatile,maybe a slight bottom preference,but I enjoy both.Are some guys afraid of being a bottom or something?

Without stating the obvious, there is a difference between penetrating someone, and taking that person inside you. I think there is something especially intimate about having a guy inside you, it takes a level of trust that is not involved with being the top. It is the same as the female in a hetero relationship, I think in some ways there is something very sensual about the role of having someone inside you, although with men, the top is more about gratifying themselves, the bottom is more about gratifying the top, but there is that intimacy is the same.

dannywho,

I hope this is not a stupid question, but what or where is your sphincter muscle?

Mike

MikePhil, there are no dumb questions. Sphincter muscle is in your azz, bro.

Thanks TOFUSUD

I will have to get my boy to hit that spot, lol

Mike

Being a bottom is more sacred, is like women giving up their pussies, the only difference is that the men's ass plays the part of the pussy. Giving it up has to be special.

The last time I bottom , I was forced into it because of my own stupidity. It was 23 years ago. However lately I been thinking about it. You know, what the fuss it all about. What if I really relax , take my time, do it with somebody caring and gentle(I have my ex , in my mind for the topper) and of course with condom on. I just want to experience the so call "his in me" things. My housemate (who is a bottom, big time) say it really pleasureable if , it rub at your G-Spot.

But I dont know. Kinda scare and not sure.

You mean the A-Spot! Yes my ex Richard kept hitting that spot and I didn't want him to ever stop! Only he found it near the ending and it didn't last as long as I hoped :(

I still stand by my statement of sex being sacred not the bottom or top, though I would have to trust and love someone still in they are going to be in me and become a part of me like that

Make no mistake that attaching any kind of significance to any sex act is something that was invented by organized religion, and flies in the face of what science and biology might teach us. Your pussy or anus or mangina or whichever term you like is no more sacred than the next guy's. GET OVER IT. We are not living in a Cinderella fantasy world. We are men/animals who have desires that need to be met, and we do so in ways we personally find pleasureable.

Has EVERYTHING to do with fucking as a dick/ass bonding ritual between 2 men...and ZERO to do with who's the pussy and who's the tough guy.

Neither is sacred, but frankly in my opinion when 2 men have sex there really should be no limits. I mean 2 sets of lips, 2 cocks, 2 asses....why not enjoy it all? Why the restrictions?

Hey Patrick. I wont say who this site is for and who has a right to post on it or not but why are you on this site? You have only posted to four forum threads. In all four you post your absurd little website into and rant about the "pro-sodomy agenda". It sounds an awful lot like spamming.

Are you spamming Patrick?

A lot of it has to do that we transmit that values of heterosexuality upon homosexuality, which is to say that we're expected by society and thus also sometimes create the expection among ourselves where there is necessity for one part being the "man" and the other the "woman". I think that once you get over this, top or bottom will be equal.

Btw Patrick, g0y sounds so extremely boring I'd go straight before going there.

Sex is about giving and receiving pleasure, why do we insist on complicating it so much?

So wonder there are so many sex therapists around. Top or bottom, even sideways, do what you like to do, just play safe!

TOFUSTUD saidMake no mistake that attaching any kind of significance to any sex act is something that was invented by organized religion, and flies in the face of what science and biology might teach us. Your pussy or anus or mangina or whichever term you like is no more sacred than the next guy's. GET OVER IT. We are not living in a Cinderella fantasy world. We are men/animals who have desires that need to be met, and we do so in ways we personally find pleasureable.

Has EVERYTHING to do with fucking as a dick/ass bonding ritual between 2 men...and ZERO to do with who's the pussy and who's the tough guy.

AMEN

sundown55 saidThe difference is size, buddy. It all depends on how stretched out the anus is and how big the top's dick is. And as one previous poster pointed out, the length of the rectum.

I've never had sex with a guy, but it doesn't take much to realize what the reason is if one thinks about it. "Potty" experiences should teach one that. LOL

Wrong, its a matter on how good the top is. Im fairly endowed, above average, and turned a few tight guys to being bottoms - so tight you can put a dime up there and he will squeeze out ten pennies.

First if the bottom is tense and not turned on of course it is going to hurt but if the top is doing his job the bottom isnt going to have any pain, exception being is maybe some from initial penetration that will go away once he is in.

Well, coming from a Ho/Slut like me, this might sound presumptuous, but I do believe there is a more sacred aspect to bottoming, and that the top MUST respect that. Here's why:
If a guy buttfucks you without regard to your anatomy, he CAN KILL YOU. Plain and simple. If he's thrusting too hard, too deep, or at the wrong angle it can be very painful at least, and life-threatening at worst. If the guy inside you should tear open your bowel or colon, and you don't get medical attention quickly, you can easily die due to peritonitis. At the very least, you could be saddled with a colostomy bag for the rest of your life. Even small anal fissures can cause terrible health problems down the line.
The bottom is allowing a foreign object (penis, dildo, fist) into his body, and as such is making himself very vulnerable to any injury the top may want to cause. The top, on the other hand, risks nothing at all. It's an inequatable situation. That's why I avoid "Total Tops" because they have no idea what the bottom really goes through, and can be very selfish in their efforts to please themselves.

Sacred is not a term I have ever considered for the subject matter here. I like tops, but I'm imaginitive enough to enjoy other bottoms too, with the right toys.

But, the only thing I hold sacred is the USA and that doesn't get me horny.