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I am wondering, since I am getting close to the big 40, what is left out there for me? Here I am in my daily life, working out, dieting, taking good care of my body, but are all those things will be enough? It seems that no matter how much one tries to look good, there always will be a 21 yo that looks younger, better, and bigger than us. I know that I set higher standards, but how can one still remaind on the top?How can we compete out there?? Specially in our gay community that values so much youthfullness, beauty, and perfect bodies, how can we get back into the game??

/shrug my parents are 43 now, both look as if theyre in their late 20s, maybe early 30ths when they clean up. My dad was in the army for 20 years, retired, worked at a shipward for a bit, then went back to college and became a waiter/bartender. My mom was doing nursing and switched to massage therapy with a bunch of other jobs before that. Doesn't exactly answer your question but theres some relevance. All you can really do is eat foods that keep collagen levels up, keep your sex drive goin, keep the metabolism up, dont fall into a slump and hope that your DNA works for you. Hopefully by the time I'm 40 stem cells and hormone therapy will reduce the effects of aging or wont kill pocketbooks of everyone who arnt celebrities. As far as the guys and their supposed better features, a lot of them are so narcissistic that you want to cram donuts down their throat till they come out of their eye sockets. Oh yeah, never lose the confidence or your done for.

Is it over at 40? Dear heavens I hope not... because if it is, I'm 5 1/2 years past "over" and nobody sent me that memo.

Seriously, and it might sound cliche, age is only a number and an attitude. Sure, there's things your body goes through as you age, but you'll only get "old" if you think you're "old". Take the best care of yourself and your health that you possibly can, and don't buy into all the lies about age. Most people that don't know my age don't believe that I'm 45, because I take care of myself and I don't act my age at all. I refuse to get old... I can't stop aging, but I can stop myself from getting old.

And as far as dating, hook ups, and even finding "Mr Wonderful" is concerned... nope, that's not over either. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found the man of my dreams at my age... especially considering that he's 8 years younger than I am.

Turning 40 is not fatal... unless you believe it is.

Yeah....it's over if you still want to wear club kid clothes and sleep with 21 year olds.

If you want to hang with fit, attractive people of your own age, no, it's not remotely over.

Your choice.

I frequently have this discussion with my friends who are in their mid-40s. We generally come to the agreement that we're having the best years of our lives. We're maximizing our earning power; we have acquired enough wisdom to put our life experiences to good use; we look and feel great; and we associate with people who view life through the same prism.

jockchicago37 saidI know that I set higher standards, but how can one still remaind on the top?How can we compete out there?? Specially in our gay community that values so much youthfullness, beauty, and perfect bodies, how can we get back into the game??

Perhaps you could subscribe to different values?

JockChicago:

That is a relative question. You are obviously attracted to younger guys. That is why you think the 21 year olds have a hotter body then you at 40.

I on the other hand find men your age far more attractive and sexy then the boys my age. I do not care for people my own age. Yes they can be attractive, but I think men are hotter then boys.

A lot of young guys are just developing their body and trying to find that balance for the healthy lifestyle. They are doing a major overhaul renovation on their bodies and life. Men around your age, who are healthy and have a body, already know what to do. They are just maintaining and refining.

Yes the majority of gay men like the young for some reason, but there will always be guys who like the older crowd.

I put you on my hotlist, and I think you are the youngest one. Just relax. You are a stud.

Nothing to worry about Jock.....there is plenty out there. You should just relax and enjoy your 40's. You're a good looking guy. It will find you!

My 40s were great; my 50s are looking even better. I would, of course, in some ways, like to be 25 again, but that's not happening. Being a good 52 is working well right now.

We have flexible bodies and minds that can change for different places and environments. For example you can get used to different kinds of music through immersing yourself in it. By doing this you begin to understand what is good, beautiful, badly executed, etc.

As we get older things change. But there is beauty, sexual beauty too. Context is very import.

Begin to try to see yourself from a 20 something's place. How would you see yourself? Look at others your own age, how do you see them?

I saw your pictures and you are really hot! Look around, people at 40 can look like they are sixty! Some at 50 look really hot. Just do a search for 40 and over on this site. I guarantee you find many very hot guys.

Be content with what you have and keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Frank

Are you kidding? I love my 40's and looking forward to my 50's.

I would never go back to my 20's...omg I did not know CRAP!

Yes my hair has started to receed. I may have to work out a little harder but I know a lot of 20 olds who would love to be in the shape that I'm in.

I never went through that birthday milestone crisis.
I am just happy to celebrate another birthday.
It's a fact of life that we get older why get so worked up about it.

Your're 37 years old and you are worried about turning 40 already I don't get it.

There will always be someone younger and older than and hotter.

For me it has always been more important to be the best person that I can be and to treat my fellows humans with dignity and respect.

Maintain a strong sense of self and humanity.

Dont worry about it!. I am 42 and my life was getting more and more exiciting the older I become. Believe me there a lot of young sexy guy out there who are attracted to a point of obsession to older mature men. There use to be time I am struggling to survive , no money, foolish and inmature. But when you get older you start to be more comfortable, financially scure, gain more knowlegde and wisdom and yes, you get better in bed. Who can resist a guy like that?

I think this topic is sad. I will turn 40 in 2008 and I don't plan on celebrating my birthday by blowing my brains out because it's "over for me." There is nothing wrong with trying to compete with 21 year olds when you're 21, but when you're 40 it's pretty embarrassing. A more mature person should have a more mature attitude toward life and what is really valuable in it. Getting older is inevitable and it beats the hell out of the alternative.

Am I the only one who thinks JockChicago is just jerking our collective chain?

1) If those pictures are remotely current, he's got nothing to worry about.

2) He states in his profile that his sense of humor derives from an upbringing in Brazil...

Dude, it is so over.

Okay ... it isn't over when you turn 40. I have many 2 ex-bfs that are in their mid to late 40s and I can tell you their life is not over.

Actually, they're more fun NOW than they were when they were younger.

I'm 30 and didn't it use to be said that gay life is over after 30? I know that's not true.

You have to be happy w/ who you are, regardless of age.

Hey Jock,

I think you look amazing for any age! I think you just need to work on your mind set a bit. At any age if you want to be happy I have found it’s better to focus on your relationships with other people, and acceptance of yourself. I am sure there are 23 year olds asking the same questions you are because 24 is just around the corner.lol..

I've never gone for the 20somethings even when I was a 20something. I always liked MEN, meaning in their 30s and 40s. Therefore it drives me crazy to meet a great guy who is around 40 who is chasing a 21 year old. There are plenty of hot guys in their 20s and some of them are mature for their age, but I'd rather be with a man who knows how to act. That adds to the package as much as the fitness.

That being said, my ex was in his 20s but we had a different bond that caught me by surprise, but then he turned into a typical "center of the universe" 26 year old and, well, that's why he's my ex.

I'm at the gym surrounded by the guys in their 20s and thinking Man, I look like shit! Then last year I went to my 20th year high school reunion and I was looking around at my classmates and I am thinking, Damn, I look good! LOL! So, cheer up. In the straight world we will always look ten years younger.

Yep, it's all over when you turn 40.

Start wearing a burka and take up knitting or embroidery. You know it makes sense.

thanks for all your honest answers, no I was not trying to be sarcastic nor fishing for compliments, although, I got to say, it was nice to hear all your comments. Don't take me wrong, I love my age and how I look,however, it gets harder to maintain what I have so far. I m looking for to grab 40 by the balls and make the best of it

One of my favorite quotes from a song is...

"Time is contagious, Everybody's getting old."

Just enjoy it. The guys who find anything over 40 as "over," are just shallow. You don't need them in your life.

Maybe men are like fine wine...They are tastier, more valuable, and better all around with age. Of course there is an expiration date on everything. Sorry. Haha

It doesn't matter how old you are, there's always someone who's going to standing too close to you who's younger, bigger, and better looking.
Those are nice qualities, but I'll always take older, smarter, more experienced, more refined, less fickle any day.

Of course at 50 (less than 2 months to 51), I'm happier than I was at 40 and waaaaay happier than at 30.

Feel old and you are old. Feel young, and you are young.

(Once you've had your Haley's M.O.)

First off, "Jock" you're absolutely BEAUTIFUL! For you to believe that it could be possibly over in your 40's is insane!! Haven't you heard that the new 20's are the 30's & so on?!?!? We now have better knowledge, education as well as experience that will take us to new & better levels as we get better/older. I'm 35 & having an AWESOME time in my life & look forward to my 40's, it's exciting for me!
Because of my experiences with men in their 40's (I prefer dating guys in their late 30's-early 50's), my only issue is the "Peter Pan Syndrome"; just grow up & handle your self appropriately & accordingly to your age & life experiences. I have run across many guys in their 40's that wanna party, behave & handle themselves like they were in the teens/20's & that is TOTALLY uncalled for!
Other than that, 40's here I come, well in another 5 years!
Jock, just take it stride, roll with it and MOST importantly, have a BLAST!

I found that age does not mean much if you take care of yourself and enjoy life. I am in better shape now than most of the teens and twenty somethings in my gym and I have them looking at me rather than their age group. Live life in the moment.

The short answer: absolutely not. At 47, my level of performance is amazing.

However, you must get honest about the value of anti-aging and hormonal manipulation. We have to change the way we view exercise performance, and there is absolutely no reason that folks have to age prematurely, end up on statins, and cholesterol drugs, when solid anti-aging meds, diet, and exercise can nip this in the bud, especially if it's started young enough.

The current hysteria against AAS is absolutely crazy. I personally know folks who been on AAS / anti-aging for nearly 40 years.

So, like I said, the short answer is absolutely not, but, there has to be an adjustment in the current taboos.

Much like aspirin can be such a major lifesaver in so many areas, so can AAS (you can't od on them like aspirin) but we have to get some folks to stand up, be counted, and demand that the current routine of dumping people onto statin, bp meds, and anti-depressants, as they reach middle age, and beyond, should NOT be the protocol of choice, but, rather, that anti-aging programs, along with exercise, diet, and fat reduction (the biggest killer, by far) need to be started in the late 20s.

Bodybuilders have known for decades now what modern medicine (except for maybe some geriatric doctors) has refused to publicly acknowledge: if you keep the levels up, you can completely change the way you age. Suzzanne Sommers was on Larry King Live this past week and talked all about it.

At 47, I pull a 9.1 to 9.9 in my hotness ratings. Folks BEG to be with me. I feel great. I haven't been sick in years. I can run circles around people half my age. There's absolutely no reason to just lay over and die. I think that's plain silly.

yes life is over. surrender to your Lazy boy and get fat and miserable. throw out your wrinkle cream and never leave the house.

Geez...

I can't say I look forward to 40 since it is kinda far away. But, I just turned 30, and am really just hitting my stride in life. Can't see the big 40 being an obstacle.

Look around on the site and see some of the hot, smart and clever guys in their 40's and older. Life ends when you let it.

Yeah, DJ and I were just having this whole anti-aging discussion last week.

chuckystud saidAt 47, my level of performance is amazing.

We've got to do something about your poor self-image, Chucklet.

J.

That's Mike Phil's job.

He has an insult list. LOL

Yep...Joey...somedays, I even amaze myself. LMAO.

chuckystud saidThat's Mike Phil's job.

You do seem to irritate the crap out of him, Chucky

gigman17b saidOne of my favorite quotes from a song is...

"Time is contagious, Everybody's getting old."

Just enjoy it. The guys who find anything over 40 as "over," are just shallow. You don't need them in your life.

Maybe men are like fine wine...They are tastier, more valuable, and better all around with age. Of course there is an expiration date on everything. Sorry. Haha

Be careful! That kind of attitude will only make you happy and successful as time goes by. You're too young to not have any angst.

First of all, stop competing with others. The only person I compete with is myself. Can I run farther or faster? Can I lift more? Can I increase resistance on a cardio machine?

I've lived long enough to see what happens to the beautiful 20-somethings who don't take care of themselves, don't develop their minds, and don't improve their personalities. They have nothing else to hang onto when their looks start going, and they become the people (usually drunk/high & wearing inappropriate clothing for their age) we run away from at the bar. Some of my friends and acquaintances never even made it to their 30s.

I've also seen a large number of guys who didn't receive any attention in their 20s turn into wonderful, sought-after men as they get older.

My dad started running when he was around my age, in his early 40s. He started a running club and held several races. Eventually, he qualified for the New York Marathon and the Boston marathon. I used to run with him but had a hard time keeping up. Unfortunately, he is not able to run anymore because he got cancer 10 years ago. However, I believe the reason he survived and thrived was because he was in such great shape. He is 71 and still walks every day. He looks the same to me as he did in his 50s and 60s. My mom never exercised and looks/acts much older than my dad.

So far, my 40s have been the best years of my life. I feel like my first 40 were preparation for my next 40-50 years. When I think about how many years I may have left, I try to think about how I want to fill those days. What will I do when I retire? Do I want to be a tragic barfly, or do I want to have the resources to travel all over the world?

My dating life significantly improved as well, especially recently. I used to pick the guys who were the worst for me, and ignored the great ones. Lately I've met some intelligent, artistic, interesting, and beautiful men of all ages. The older ones are much more fun than the younger guys.

Talk to me sometime about muscle maturity, depth of the physical body, slowing down in the bedroom, the mature look.

I think many guys don't hit true "hotness" until about 28 to 34. Everything fills out, their brain starts working better. They take time to be introspective, and less conquer, conquer, conquer.

I've seen some half-homely guys turn into grade A hunks at 30. They seem better in focus, discipline, and usually have more money to pursue their goals. A well developed, self-assured, 30 something has much to be said about him.

I just need one of those boys to feed me, shave my back, give me my meds, and tuck me in. Is that so much to ask for? ROFL

I find that the closer I get to 40, the more guys I have hit on me. I think I have become comfortable in my skin and confidence can be very attractive. I don't compare myself to twenty year olds. I just try to be the best I can be at whatever age I am.

Me too. Never had so many hot young guys hitting on me.

Cash in your chips!

I can't wait to be forty, mainly so I can have a good income and people will HAVE to listen to me. Otherwise they are agists!

Oh now, sicko, I wait breathlessly for every one of your posts. You must know that.

jockchicago37 saidHow can we compete out there?? Specially in our gay community that values so much youthfullness, beauty, and perfect bodies, how can we get back into the game??

You can quite bleating and show the maturity and confidence of your age, that couple with the fact that most guys carry muscle far better from there 30's onwards and you should be good to go!

So stop having a mid life crisis and going all woe is me you look pretty decent!

Is "it" over once we turn 40? Well, if "it" is youth, then yeah. You're only young once, so enjoy it while you may. After that, look the best you can at any and every age.

There will, in fact, always be somebody younger (and prettier) than you. But while you're wishing you were 25 again, there's probably a 30-year-old staring at you and thinking, "Wow, hot daddy."

There's a certain amount of chatter on here about "older" guys hitting on the young'uns and gee-whiz how are we young hotties supposed to DEAL with that and blah blah blah. The good news for guys like me is that there are a good many young hotties who really appreciate in-shape older men. No, really.

At 51 (that's 11 years past "over"), I get hit on by guys young enough to be my sons -- both here and in the "meat space". So not to worry, Mr. About-to-Turn-40: you've probably got a few good years left. ;)

I know my twink days are long gone and thank god for that but wow Johnnie the accolade of Hot Daddy goes to you without a doubt!

I get fed up with all the bleating of I am passed 30, 40, 50 or 60 on here and every site saying I cant put muscle on blah blah blah. the answer is yes you bloody well can, it just seems alot harder as its your mental state more than your bodies ability!

redheadguy saidYep, it's all over when you turn 40.

Start wearing a burka and take up knitting or embroidery. You know it makes sense.

Hey, I crochet! Does that mean it's over for me at 26?!

I am asking myself the same questions as you are now my dear Jockchicago37.

I am 48 years old and I can't find any gay guys my age that are fit and attractive in my area.

I don't see myself competing with a twenty years old or going out with one of these young guys.

I want to go out with a guy that is more or less my age that have the same principles or values in life as me.

But love is love!

chuckystud saidThat's Mike Phil's job.

He has an insult list. LOL

Yep...Joey...somedays, I even amaze myself. LMAO.

I have compiled the list from you Chuck

You should take some credit

jprichva said[quote][cite]chuckystud said[/cite]That's Mike Phil's job.

You do seem to irritate the crap out of him, Chucky [/quote]

It's his ego. I have to keep a pair of sun glasses by the computer at all times. It's a pain

Well, you're just gonna' have to get used to it. It's an alpha male thing.

Lots of queers lash out at anyone with self-confidence, in a self-loathing transformation / projection of their own feelings of inadequacy. That's not very nice, and, certainly, not healthy, and symptomatic of much deeper underlying mental health issues.

It does, after all, take a certain level of self-confidence to go on ESPN in less than your underwear.

My daughter goes on ESPN, but...um...fully clothed.

Huh? *adjusts hearing aid* Speak up, sonny, I can't hear you. *mixes his Metamucil*

Yeh, here in Texas they just put you out to pasture with all of the other old goats...fortunately though there are a lot of hot old goats in the same pasture!

I'm happy to say that I'm in better shape at 47 than I was at 37...and attitude makes a huge difference! I can't wait for the first piece of mail I get from AARP when I turn 50!

once we turn 40, is it over??


Well hell, I didn't come out until 44 so I'm thinking life begins about then. I'm actually looking forward to 45 in a few weeks, and I'm in the best condition of my life. Enough with the bitching and moaning about growing old already!

I think 45 is 25 in gay years, correct?

Things are not over when you hit 40 or any other age past 30! There a lot of gay men over 40 that are physically in good shape, attractive, and better still mature and intelligent. Young gays are great as long as they are going out with other young gays. I like talking to them and telling them what it was like for me growing up gay, what it is like being HIV+, how to protect themselves, how to keep a long-term relationship going, etc.. But to sleep with them? God forbid! Give me a 35+ man with life experiences under his belt, who is comfortable with who is, and is making enough money to pick up the dinner bill every so often!

I knew a guy who recently died at the age of 79, who was f...ing like a rabbit right up to the end.

I also have a friend who embraced his identity when he was in his mid-40's. A nice-looking guy, tho not built like you are. He has been in a solid relationship with the same guy now for 7 or 8 years, and it's still going strong.

J_Chic, with a body and a face like yours, I would say you have years and years to go before you have to start worrying about being less-than-desirable.

The big question in my mind is: What is this guy looking for?

Are you BLIND?

Have you SEEN some of the hotties over 40 on here?

I'd do 'em.

The point is you can be whatever you want to be if you work at it.

And I'm sorry to disagree with one of the earlier posts, but some of the guys over 40 on here either ARE or COULD bang 21 year old guys if they wanted to.

QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREQUOTE GOES HERE

You look great...Keep up the good work...You look better than a lot of 21 year olds that I know of.

Every year closer to 40 I get more and more early 20 somethings jumping all over me like hyper-active puppies. It's so very flattering, but house-breaking them is pain in the ass.

I'm having a lot of fun these days and can support it and not worry about money.
I like younger guys but even when I was in my 20s, my friends thought I was a dirty old man,lol!

Why the hell is anyone approaching 40 comparing themself to a 21 year old?

My body and energy will never be what it was at 20...but that isn't a bad thing...I still compete...and my muscle is now mature muscle something that has taken 20 years at the gym to perfect...

I love my 30's [which are now more than half over]...can't wait for 40's!

- David

40 is the new 30..Age is a number- mines unlisted!!!
As Sinatra once said- "Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you- If you're young at heart
For its hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind
If you're young at heart..
You can go to extremes with impossible schemes...
You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams..
And life gets more exciting with each passing day...
And love is either in your heart or on its way.
Dont you know that its worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart...For as rich as you are its much better by far to be young at heart...
And if you should survive to 105
Look at all you'll derive out of being alive...
Then here is the best part, You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart."

obscenewish said[quote][cite]jockchicago37 said[/cite]I know that I set higher standards, but how can one still remaind on the top?How can we compete out there?? Specially in our gay community that values so much youthfullness, beauty, and perfect bodies, how can we get back into the game??

Perhaps you could subscribe to different values?[/quote]

I could not agree more. age is just mentality. If you feel society only values the young, find a new society. I feel and look heaps better than when i was 21! And thank god i do not have the income of a 21 year old either! Youth is great! everyone should cherish and enjoy it, but with age comes advantages too. just be happy to wake up each morning. the world is out there and it is one big adventure! 40 is definitely not the end!

Oh wow.....

Was I supposed to hang it up? Oops....sorry
I didn't know

I look better, am stronger, wiser and have more money than I did when I was in my 20s. I really think guys look their best in the 40s and 50s. I'd never want to go back.

well u are the exception (for gigman17b).

But there u are...... i do like man in my age but do they like me or prefer a boy
Is not over but is deferent a difficult turn one will say to u that " BUT I DON'T LIKE OLD MAN"
and u hate that....... u don't like that....but then we get used to and..... have lot but lot of fun

Ahhhh....to be 40 again!

Just turned 41 -
I am in the best shape i have ever been in.
Overall, i no longer feel i have to "prove" myself to anyone (except my kids). Not arrogant - just really comfortable and confident with myself and lifestyle.
I workout at the local Y - located between two universities so it is often filled with younger men. I really get a kick out of watching all the games younger (20s) guys play with each other and with the occassional woman who shows up to workout - i almost feel sorry for the women.

Dude, you funny.....I see you at the gym all the time.
It ain't over by any means.....it's all what you make of it....and you got it going on so keep your mind in a good place and everything else will continue as is.
I'm turning 42 in May and I am having the time of my life.....the guys who are hitting on me are getting younger and younger and I am enjoying life more and more.
Find your inner child and let him have some fun.

im sure this has been said already but i can't bring myself to read this subject again.

stop comparing yourself to 20 yr olds! it's ridiculous. your 37, you look fine. grow up.

just look at in773guy above me, he's turning 42 and an absoulute god! there are plenty of stunning older guys on this site.

older men are so much more sexier (apart from strongbolt of course)

It's not "over." You can have many of the best things in life. But if you think it's as easy to find someone with whom to share something meaningful you're delusional. Many of those who would be interested in that kind of thing are taken, and many of those who are not taken have the emotional mentality of 25 year olds.

Just my two cents.

Actually I'm chatting with n2JocksnLifters right now.

He's sooo fucking hot. I'd do him in a minute, and so would any 22 year old in their right mind.

DAMN!

FUCK THAT!...When I am dead it is over....LIVE BITCHES! LIVE TO EVERY LAST BREATHE!!!!

I HOPE NOT, I TURNED 40 A LONG TIME AGO.

Just turned 50 and starting a whole new chapter in my life. Hope it's not over yet!

Your hotter than most 20 year olds and your worried? As long as your being the best that you can be don't worry about it.
Joe

nothing is over at any time...you give up when you stop pushing yourself.

It's only over when you think it's over. That can be at 40, 60, or 25. I think every stage of life has it's benefits and things to look forward to.

I had a very good friend, a sweet kid, check out this past October at age 29. My ex-wife died two years ago at age 52. It makes me remember that every day on this side of the daisies is a good day.

I can do most of the workout regime I learned in college in my H20-polo days - and that keeps me in great shape. I'm really happy in my late 40s - maybe not in the prime shape I was in at say - 20 - but I'm having more fun now - I've got more friends - I'm making more money - and I wish I knew back then all the cool stuff I know now. This time is the best of my life!

cdnclub saidI am sure there are 19 year olds asking the same questions you are because 20 is just around the corner.lol..

Oh my GOD! You have no idea! *que horreur!* I'm fucking two decades old in June!!!

Of course it isn't! You can still date half of the gay guys you'd want to, even the 20-something ones. Then there's the other half (of which I and paradox seem to be the only ones on this site) who actually like guys who look 20, but not always to exclusitivity, and are in some cases somewhat harder to date.

But the fun and games never stop.

Ok, well, maybe when you're a hundred, but at that point you're probably going to be worrying more about getting up in the morning than getting it up.

jockchicago37 saidI am wondering, since I am getting close to the big 40, what is left out there for me? Here I am in my daily life, working out, dieting, taking good care of my body, but are all those things will be enough? It seems that no matter how much one tries to look good, there always will be a 21 yo that looks younger, better, and bigger than us. I know that I set higher standards, but how can one still remaind on the top?How can we compete out there?? Specially in our gay community that values so much youthfullness, beauty, and perfect bodies, how can we get back into the game??

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

Getting older is like gravity---there is nothing you can do about it--work out, eat right---but age is a non-issue. The words to pray "Lord, grant me the power to change the things I can, accept those I can't and have the wisdom to know the difference" holds true here as well.

The gay community's values are shallow. Look for another guide book.

TallnBigGuy2 Serenity prayer is appropriate. You can't turn back your age, you have to accept the fact your getting older; however you can change your attitude and perception on aging. Think of it as your getting wiser with age; how attractive is that?

Personally, I too will be turning 40 this year and I'm so looking forward to it. When I went to my 20 year high school reunion last summer the former high schools girls that saw me as a geek flocked and swooned over me. Now, I'm finding that younger studs are swooning over me as well. I'm learning more and more that age is irrelevant. Maturity is sexy.

bamaborn saidI frequently have this discussion with my friends who are in their mid-40s. We generally come to the agreement that we're having the best years of our lives. We're maximizing our earning power; we have acquired enough wisdom to put our life experiences to good use; we look and feel great; and we associate with people who view life through the same prism.

Count me in with that group. I am in the best shape of my life too (new pics are overdue), better than when I was in my 20s. Stop comparing yourself to twinks, guys, and you will be much much happier.

Apparently... it is not over at 40... at all.

I have the smoldering evidence right here..

http://www.realjock.com/profile/?id=80277

"...I am wondering, since I am getting close to the big 40, what is left out there for me?..."


Nothing is left for you. I left 40 behind so many years ago, that I feel my life is not only over, but it is a negative integer. I have not had sex in years, I can't look at myself in the mirror, all my gay brethern won't look at me, I have no friends. All that is left is to count the trickles of sand left in the hour glass.

Geez, you have a few good years left, but then it's to the gay glue factory for you.

I realize you hadn't intended it this way, but your whole post sounds like a long whine.

Take a look through this site - -

There are so many hot, fit and attractive men on this site over 40 - your question is easily answered.

The ball game ain't over till you say it's over . . .

Yes, it is over! I am 16 years on the other side and there is nothing over here. Bleak! Bleak! Bleak! Slit your wrist* and save yourself the ennui!





*Comment made only for campy over-statement. Not intended as recommendation for any action of deleterious self-injury. ...

This seems to be the Nth variation of the same old theme

Seems I'm know at work as the young looking guy.
I'm more proud of my size than I ever was in my 30's and 40's.
Just wish I could find another guy like me.....
Grrrrrrrr

Hey buddy I know what you mean. I am in better shape then most guys half my age. I find that age does not much matter if you have a young mindset and love of life.

Oh no! It is not over! I'm having the best time of my life now at 43 then when I was in my 30's or my 20's. (20's were good, 30's sucked shit)

The guy I am seeing is 27. We are having a blast.

I don't feel 43 and I don't act 43. People think I am in my 30's and I am fine with that. When asked my age I usually reply that I am 'legal'.

Over at 40? Just getting started!

-Chuck

jockchicago37 saidthanks for all your honest answers, no I was not trying to be sarcastic nor fishing for compliments, although, I got to say, it was nice to hear all your comments. Don't take me wrong, I love my age and how I look,however, it gets harder to maintain what I have so far. I m looking for to grab 40 by the balls and make the best of it

Grab those balls then and run with them!

My only regret is that I didn't pay that much attention to my body when I was younger (20's) and I didn't come out of the closet then either.

But...that is the past and the future is very bright.

Hey JockChicago37,

I posted a similar question back in September, when I was coming up on 40...so if you want more viewpoints here is the archive:

http://www.realjock.com/topic/38285/

Anyway...so that b-day has now come and gone, and I don't feel much different.

It is interesting how many younger guys really are drawn to men in their 40s in this day and age, so it really is "mind over matter -- if you don't mind, it don't matter." Lol. ;)

Van

Ahhh...40...I remember my feelings when it was coming at me! Lol....I was deppresed for months and actually got a bit 'whorish' because of my discomfort with it.
When you go to these gay websites you see the guys younger and older wanting 18-25....and that can be a bit deppressing. So some of us hit the gym like mad men and fight off our age like the Spartans!
It took a couple years for me to really shake the feeling I was having about being 40 something. No matter how many people told me I looked like I was in my late 20s and that I was in better shape than most half my age...it took me to work through it myself.
I am a masculine gay man with 3 daughters(grown) and great friends(sometimes lol) and family.
I didnt go out and buy a little red corvette for my midlife crisis but I did get me a 23 year old twink!lmao...
Anyway you look great and things will workout for you..You know that though! You will realize that you never left the 'game'....it has just has taken on a new look..it will be fun!

Yeah, its over...I've been dead for almost 14 years!

Have you talked to a therapist about this?
Would you feel this way if you were in a relationship?

Have you talked to a therapist about this?
Would you feel this way if you were in a relationship?

What game are you trying to get back into?

I'm curious to hear the deatils of how you have fallen?

and how you cannot compete with a 21 year old.
Why would you want to compete with a 21 year old?

What are you competing FOR? with?

Jock, birthdays are just points in time that you use to mark part of your life. 40 for you and I is different. It's different for everyone. It's just a number.

We are not meant to live forever, be young forever, or be on top forever. Nor should we measure ourselves by everyone else. We all carry torches. In the beginning they are bright and held high, eventually they get heavy. The day comes for every man when it's time to let another take up the torch.

How long you choose to be vibrant and active, how healthy you keep your body, is in your own hands. Some people will become sedentary and loathe to do more than warm their couch far earlier than others. Some men will still be running track and working out at the gym when they are 70. Some will look much older than they are, some much younger (cue obscenewish).

Whether you are "in the game" or not depends on you. The 21yr old normally has a more healthy body biologically than a 40 year old does. That's just a simple fact of the mechanics of life. Trying to look and be better than those good looking 21yr olds is silly. Our bodies change through our life and it's silly to be plastic. I'm not talking about realistic things like exercise and diet, I'm talking about botox, implants, etc. A faux appearance.

We go through life and our desires change as we change. We get a little older and we normally develop a lust for guys that are a little older too. That's a natural progression.

Those that remain fixated on the virile teenage body are setting themselves up for loneliness and bitterness as they become more and more rejected by the younger crowd.

10 years ago I didn't want to get with a 40yr old guy. 20 years ago I didn't want a 30yr old guy. Right now I rarely find 50yr old guys attractive. In 10 years I fully expect the aim of my lust to have shifted just as it has for the last 20 years.

Eventually I'll be full of wrinkles, maybe I'll have lost my hair, have bifocal contacts and be concerned about my ability to quickly heal after an injury (cue obscenewish's next comment).

Unless our life is cut short, this happens to all of us and there is no point in fighting it. The more time we spend fighting the ground we're losing to the past, the less time we have to enjoy today and the people we have with us. We can grow old gracefully or we can ignore those hot 21yr olds laughing at the 60yr old guy still trying to win back top chair at pole dancing.

If 40 is where everything left in life ends, I'm in for a big shock since I plan on living and loving life until they push me kicking and screaming into that pine box.

FirefighterBlu3 saidWe are not meant to live forever...

.................

Unless you're on the set of Futurama...

Is it over at 40? I'm betting on not. The mere fact that we discuss this means that we give the idea some merit, which I, for one, think is a bit insane. If being forty is all about looks then you may want to re-evaluate your priorities. If you're still trying to compete with 21 year olds, then you may want to check your head since there is nothing remotely similar to you and a 21 year old. I'm fairly certain, based on my educational background and time on this planet, that if a 21 year old is bigger than older guys, it will likely have more to do with steroid use than because "God just made me that way." What perhaps you should be thinking about is, "Where have I been, and where would I like to go next?" Just some thoughts from a "40 year old".

I don't think it's over, getting close to it myself i hope not, sadly though i've always only been attracted to men my own age and it seems like the ones my age now only want to try for the 20 year olds!! but i've gained alot of knowledge in my time here and think it's worth it, even if i'll never grace the pages of playgirl, again

in your 20s you are expected to figure yourself out

self-indulgence is the thing

By the time you are 40 (for me a matter of weeks!), you are expected to contribute.

Athletes retire by 40. And the best ones use what they learned to help others, raise families, be productive. It is time to give back. The taking years are over.

By the way, people look great in their 40s if they have self respect, and no
chemicals are needed. Train hard, but it's simply not
acceptable at 40 to care only about yourself. Coach younger jocks, give of yourself.

Having a job and responsibility is sexy! So is wisdom.

Man up! It gets you laid.

Okay...so I haven't read everyone's post, although I'm sure a few answer this adeptly...but I have to say it's REALLY hard to relate to your level of insecurity.

If you haven't yet figured out that we create our own possibilities...well...you should probably start working on that realization for starters. It's also paramount to understand that you can question the idea of "enough" until you're blue in the face, but YOU are the one who answers that question; no one else can answer or define it for you. As for competing with the 20-somethings...wow...you really worry about that?! I think that type of competitiveness/fear is created more by association (read subjective reality) and it may be time to re-think who you associate with/date/(fill in the blank).

Personally, I stay in excellent shape and am keenly aware and focused on my intellectual and spiritual growth. Those things, coupled with many others, create self-confidence that doesn't necessitate thought or worry about age-defined competitiveness. Also, these things aren't based on any community-oriented measure, they are things that I desire self-fully and are an end in themselves as such(as opposed to being a means to an end...which most personally-oriented things are when you need to assess their value against some external measure).

If people are going to like you, or want to be with you for that matter, it's going to be because you are being yourself. All of this worry about expectations can only cloud that idea and surround you with equally confused and superficially-oriented people. Although that company may be amusing for a moment, it's not going to offer any real satisfaction or help to quell your own confusion... Stop worrying about your perception of others' expectation and start focusing on what YOU really want.

I don't think the hot man who asked this question has any problem finding mates. He looks damn good. I think the question is whether he loses out to guys in their 20s. He sure will if he's looking for younger guys when he's in his 40s. That's kinda' inevitable. Are we supposed to feel sorry for him?

As a rule, people in their 20s are just into different things. Guys in their 40s who act like they're in their 20s do tend to look foolish. Just like guys in their 20s who go back to high school and try to act cool look foolish.

One reason why guys in their 40s are attractive is because they have substance. Plenty of guys in their 20s have it, too, but if they don't, the world gives them a pass because they have at least a decade to acquire it. By 40, if you don't have it, well, you might just be f***ed.

The preliminary data gathered from this site's member records suggests your chances of being single are LESS as you appraoch 40. Link here and I'm crunching more data as time goes on.

Sure we place a high premium on youth and beauty but in everyday practice, all evidence suggests that life is not over at 40.

However if you're directly competing with 20 year olds over the same guys then I have to agree with pretty much everyone else on this thread.

and here i am worring about turning 20!

dude if i look half as good as u when im that age ill be happy.

Hey Mate
Gidday from Down-Under...

What are you complaining about Mate - i'd swap bodies with you this minute !!!

Granted I am working on mine at the moment and are aiming to have it sorted by Christmas - BUT - you have one hot bod Mate !!

Guys are not that vain to think that we 'older' guys are ready for the scrap heap!! We can still 'bone-it' with the best of them.

Keep up the great workouts - I can only aim to have your bod

cheers
Diva

Thanks again for all of your comments, to answer some of your comments, I am not an insecure person, nor I am fishing for compliments, I love the way I look, which I work hard for it, and I love my age, I would never trade it with any younger person, however, it is interesting to me, that most of guys in our community prefer younger guys, if you don't beleive me, look at most of our HOT LIST, I am sure that the majority have guys in their 20's. I heard this once and I beleive it is true: " when you are young and beautiful it is just nature, but when you are older and beautiful, you earned itITALIC TEXT GOES HERE" hope that will make sense for some people.
The only reason I placed this forum was to hear some of reactions or answers of why most of guys (not all of us) prefer younger guys over more mature ones?

Dude, it’s over. I am here sitting in the dark of my room, with my mouth full of teeth, waiting for the arrival of death.