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How can I tell if my roommate is gay..
Fitnessman Posts: 5
Nov 30, 2007 11:06 PM GMT
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What's going on everyone. HELP!! I have a little, well BIG!! problem here that I just can't seem to figure out and it is driving me crazy!! Around sometime in September I decide to move over to Flagstaff Arizona to train and get ready for the Olympic Trials (hoping to make the olympic team.) I made a visit to flagstaff in September after I found a compatable roommate online and boy was I in a big surprise..lol!! This guy is a great match to have as a roomie and had a killer smile to back everything else up along wih him. We never saw each other until I flew to Arizona to visit for 2 days. To make a long story short, durning the visit there was one question he ask while we went out for a bit to eat and his anwser got the best of me. He ask if I had girl friend which I told him I did only for 3 years until we broke it off after college, she ceated ( and for the obvious which he didn't know but I was gay)and I asked him and he said he has never had a girl friend. Now I'm not stupid and know just becuse someone has never had a grilfriend doesn't mena that there gay but oh man! I can beleive he had NEVER had a girl friend. If you can just see him!!! I'm 28 and think I look good for the shape I'm in, but he is 27 and just takes the cake and ice cream. I'm very stright acting and he doesn't know but sometime it's hard not to look at him when he doesn't notice. I think he does the same when I'm not looking, you know the sence you get that someone is looking at you. There are also cetain things he does that just get to me and makes me wander if he's testing me or somethings..lol Like when he finishes taking a shower, he does close the door but when he opens it he has no shirt on and only jeans and there is this table that sits in front of his door. When he goes to get something off of it, he makes sure that he flashes he underwear and shows off his butt!!lol! And he does that alot, everytime. I try not to pay attention but come on, it's hard not to. I sit in that same chair as he sit in his all the time. He always wears those same jean I tell you. They fit just right. I really think he's just trying to test me honestly. I've tried it myself. Everyone time I get finish with one of my daily workouts at the track, I usually try to show off my legs. It's very cold up here now so I either wear my long or short tight running pants. Just this past 3 days in a row, I new he was looking and trying hard now to pay attention by laughing at what was on the TV.. There's alot more more but I have no time to right. It's seem I never have time. I can't even make time to post my pictures at the site, well not until this Sunday. Help me out guys and be nice, please lol!!. I'm new this and new basiclly at try to find a guy really. With my career it's just hard. Me and my roomie are going to go to 1 of my races in San Diego in Feb for 3 days, then LA for a 3 or 4 day vacation and then another race in San Diego in June ( a big race.) Can you gys give me some clues, poniters or something to figure this guy out. I guess I'm just scard to try myself..lol I appreciate this..
Thanks
Hidden/Deleted Member
Dec 01, 2007 12:56 AM GMT
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Someone pulled a dirty one on me the other day..

They used a picture as a mirror. By the time I realized it, it was too late. I had already looked them up and down 4-5 times.

I couldn't figure out why they had stopped walking in front of me and were stroking their face.. not that I minded. Then it was.. doh! busted!

I think you should try something similar.. unless you are already sure he is checking you out. Guys just don't stare at other guys for no reason.
Hidden/Deleted Member
Dec 01, 2007 3:18 PM GMT
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Sounds like a pretty exciting challenge. It sounds like he might be gay or testing to see if you are, or you are just reading into things because you want to believe there is a chance.

What about just being honest with him and telling him you are gay and seeing his reaction?

Maybe like a beautiful fairytale he will just proceed to make out with you and be like me too and then the two of you will skip away to Canada and get married or something. Best of luck!
dr_jackl Posts: 297
Dec 01, 2007 5:35 PM GMT
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What do you mean, "used a picture as a mirror"? I can't envision the setup.
tanktop Posts: 307
Dec 03, 2007 12:58 AM GMT
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My friend tells a joke:

Q: How can I tell if my roommate is gay

A: His dick tastes like sh*t

Sorry, it's funny when a cute straight guy tells it.
Hidden/Deleted Member
Dec 07, 2007 11:19 PM GMT
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Hmm.. it isn't really easy for you to find that out.. but if i was you.. i'd try to talk with him.. i mean if you don't have a problem being gay or bi.. you can tell him.. the worst reaction he can make is finding another room-mate.. otherwise his behavior doesn't look like a straight guy..


Good luke dude!
gymguy1 Posts: 1012
Dec 08, 2007 2:10 AM GMT
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Does he go out to clubs? Does he ever bring girls home? Does he talk about girls around you? If he is a drinker, does he act a certain way when he has had some alcoho in him? Just be careful. Dealing with a roommate could end bad.
Hidden/Deleted Member
Dec 09, 2007 1:43 AM GMT
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Well his underwear flash and coming out of the shower with jeans on is not much to read in to. Now if he was coming out of the shower with just a towel on, or even watching tv in his underwear, then I'd say he's trying to get your attention. What definately strikes my attention is that he is 27 and never had a girlfriend. I mean come on! Even the ugly straight guys have had some kind of girlfriend by the 20's. You say he's attractive right? Why on earth would he not even try dating someone by that age?
Hidden/Deleted Member
Dec 09, 2007 8:21 AM GMT
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Dr_JacklWhat do you mean, "used a picture as a mirror"? I can't envision the setup.


Whoops, I should have been more specific. It was a large watercolor under glass. He used the glass as a mirror. I noticed he started walking slower at first. Then I look and he has his head cocked sideways, stroking his cheek.

I didn't care if I was busted too bad. He knows he is cute.
HndsmKansan Posts: 3145
Dec 09, 2007 1:56 PM GMT
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I think you should just ask him if he's gay.
Matterych Posts: 110
Dec 09, 2007 6:31 PM GMT
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I've always found a fifth of tequila to be helpful in such situations...
Hidden/Deleted Member
Dec 09, 2007 7:25 PM GMT
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you could always give him a handjob. if he gets hard and smiles, perhaps you are onto something.
Fitnessman Posts: 5
Dec 10, 2007 6:47 AM GMT
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-STRONBOLT!!!-

AGAIN YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGTH UT OF MY MOUTH!!
It weirded me out to that he is 26 and has never had a girl friend (relationship). And you are right about one thing, even the ugliest straight guys have had atleast 1 grilfriendLOL!!!! I guess I'm just nervus. Yes, in my opinon he is very attractive, this guys laugh and smile is the icing on the cake...He is a great friend though and I DON'T want to end it by NO MEANS!! jsut to see if he's gay, even though I think he is and he's also very supportive in what I do for a living (running) and is there supporting me every step of the way. I just got this felling that something good is going to happen though.HUMMM.. I just don't know what to do now.
Thank guys!!!

Keep'em coming (comments, suggestions.)????
NDChris Posts: 14
Dec 11, 2007 1:15 AM GMT
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I saw this work once, granted it was between two paranoid schizophrenics, but it should work in normal practice.

Invite him to a well known gay place. The trick is he obviously has to know it's a place gay people hang out. I think that invitation will through him off his base enough that you can determine he's gay if he does not just come out and say it.

Obviously if he reacts negatively you can play dumb and say someone suggested it to you.

Good Luck with that and the trials!
TiggerHeight Posts: 199
Dec 11, 2007 8:29 PM GMT
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Ok, my first question is, what does his room look like? Describe the decorations, the bed sheets, any pictures, etc.

Second of all, this may sound very weird, but I live in Flagstaff. I am always willing to help a friend out when they like someone. I’ll be anything from the straight guy to the random jack ass to the most blunt person you’ll ever meet. (i.e. My friend is a lesbian and she was unsure if this girl she liked was or not. I walked over, hit on her and she said she was sorry but she is a lesbian. Long story short, they are still dating.) I’ll even trip just so I can bump into someone my friend likes so they can help me up and we can start a conversation. (Lame and very “sit-com like” I know, but hey it works. Now if only I could help myself.) If you wanted, I could meet him and help you find out. Message me and I’ll see what I can do.

To quote Jack McFarland, “There is one question, but it has great power. Are . . . You . . . Gay?”
phantomwho22 Posts: 4
Dec 13, 2007 10:20 AM GMT
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You guys are all missing the point, he lives in Flagstaff. He is definitely 148,000% gay.
nudegayguy Posts: 2
Jan 06, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
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hippie4lyfe saidyou could always give him a handjob. if he gets hard and smiles, perhaps you are onto something.


I'd give him a hand job too, but that would probably lead to my giving him a blow job.
TiggerHeight Posts: 199
Jan 25, 2008 7:55 AM GMT
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phantomwho22 saidYou guys are all missing the point, he lives in Flagstaff. He is definitely 148,000% gay.


Um what? There is like no gay community here. It is sad.
thatcycleguy Posts: 129
Jan 25, 2008 3:22 PM GMT
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Oh the fun I could have if I were in your situation!

Your not getting advice from me on how to speed up the adventure of discovering your new roomie. I say enjoy the time that it takes to get your answer. Use your imagination- there is so much fun to be had!
Kinu Posts: 2
Jan 25, 2008 4:49 PM GMT
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pLEASE KEEP US UPDATED ON THIS SITUTATION
realifedad Posts: 1114
Jan 28, 2008 12:40 AM GMT
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I think that since you guys get along so well, and have become friends. Just tell him that you are gay, and that since you count him as a friend and important to you as such that in fairness to him he should know. Don't try to make a move on him first though, this could ruin your friendship, but just telling him that your gay probably won't. If he is gay, he'll let you know once you open this door on the subject. If he quickly lets you know he's straight, just give him assurance that you'll never approach him in any way that's inapropriate to his being straight. I hope he is gay, so you can go someplace with this cool relationship you have !!! LOL !!!
Hidden/Deleted Member
Jan 28, 2008 12:42 AM GMT
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The best way to find out if he's gay. So much easier since you're the roommate. When he's not in, fire up his computer, look in his browser history. If you see corbinfisher and seancody, you're pretty much on the money. If you see big titties, then you lose.

Just pray he's not smart enough to always clear out his browser history :-)
fg_14 Posts: 6
Feb 12, 2008 9:55 PM GMT
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Get him hammered and ask him then. It will work.
upsguy68 Posts: 52
Feb 12, 2008 10:10 PM GMT
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I have to agree with "reallifedad". Don't mess up a great friendship by making a move on him. Tell him your
story and go from there. It might just be the incentive he needs. Wouldn't we all like to be friends first, then lovers?! OK, not all of us!
SurrealLife Posts: 4497
Feb 13, 2008 12:18 AM GMT
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He is 27 and has never had a girlfriend? Did I read that right? If so he is probably gay. You can use the excuse "I am shy" until about 20 or 21 then it gets very suspicious (I should know).

You might want to let him know that you are gay and ask him if he has any problems with that.
redheaded_dud... Posts: 394
Feb 13, 2008 2:18 AM GMT
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So this is sort of a different situation than the one you're involved with, but there was this guy that was REALLY cool, and I really liked him, and it was already established that we were both gay. But, I just wasn't INTO him in THAT way. And my guess was that he wasn't into me in THAT way, either. So I was worried that if I hung out with him/around him, he'd think I was trying to get him in the sack, when I really just wanted to be his friend. So I did something that was pretty radical for me:

I told him straight out: "I think you're a great guy, and I wanna be your friend, but I'm not after you in THAT way. You wanna go hang out?"

It was amazing! We're basically best friends now. So what's my point and how does it relate to you? Be cool with your roommate, and be honest with him, when the time comes. And I'll agree with some of the other posters here: A few drinks help with honesty, but WARNING: just 'cuz you're drunk, don't jump his bones.
Hidden/Deleted Member
Feb 13, 2008 3:01 AM GMT
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Ask. He's your roommate. It's only sexuality; not something to hide in the shadows or be a pictureless about, and a small part of what defines people.

Get some balls and be a man.
Hidden/Deleted Member
Feb 13, 2008 8:46 AM GMT
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If the underwear draw is mor ethan 70% labels theres your answer! Straightmen have the date pair, th emorning after pair, the special after gym pair and the rest are cheap

Seriously tho, could it be athletic admiration that in your heightened staight of arousal you are misinterpretting?

Ask him if he has ever been to a gay bar, you can always make up some anecdotal story to alleviate the embarrassment and I personaly think honesty i sthe best policy, or not only will he be the one without the girlfriend but you will be the one without a man either him or someone else
Hidden/Deleted Member
Feb 14, 2008 4:30 PM GMT
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next time you are face to face reach down a put your hand on his balls....works all the time for me,,,I bet he will really appreciate it.
TiggerHeight Posts: 199
Feb 18, 2008 7:53 AM GMT
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So . . . Fitnessman where are you? We all want to get an update.

Plus, if you have no update, my offer still stands.
Fitnessman Posts: 5
Jun 14, 2008 5:33 AM GMT
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First off I ant to say I'm REALLY sorry that I haven't gotten back with everyone, but I have been so busy that I just forgot about this topic (Olympic trials ae almost here and I getting ready for them). Well, things haven't really changed. One reason is that I'm just a chicken to ask and take some of the advice you guys have given me. But!!!! About a month ago I walk in tha door o my lunch form work and we all know when we've caught someone in the act of jerking off.

He had room door open but not all the way and when stepped in the front door I notice he ran to his room door, closed it,then came out to the kitchen in a sweat. Yes he was sitting at his computer. And about 2 weeks ago I was waling up to his room and he was at the computer. I started to walk in and I notice he quickly clicked off what ever he was watching. Hmmmm. Maybe I was striaght porn. But for some strange reason I think if wasn't.
Guys you should see all of the muscle mag's he has around his room. I mean NOT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND EVER! I have though about looking on his compter but I think if I'm one of his best friends I don't and shouldn't do that, I will lose respect and a great friend. He will tell me when he's ready. Hope to here from you guys, sorry again.
Hidden/Deleted Member
Jun 14, 2008 5:40 AM GMT
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You should beat it out of him.
crispro Posts: 115
Jun 20, 2008 9:55 PM GMT
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If you ask him, he won't necessarily tell you the truth.

Instead, read his body language. Body language can be a more valid indicator of the truth, because most people don't realize what they're revealing about themselves.
GQjock Posts: 3849
Jun 20, 2008 11:09 PM GMT
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He replaces your tube Crest toothpaste with lube
walternot Posts: 23
Jun 22, 2008 4:45 AM GMT
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Fitnessman;

The problem is that he may be very defensive about his own sexuality.

If you walked in and he had been jacking off, I would have said something like, "That is natural and healthy. Please don't be embarrassed."

He may still feel embarrassed about being caught. Talk to him. Let him know you know what he was doing and he should not be ashamed.

This may open up a conversation on sexuality.

Also, if you are so athletic, you may be fairly hot also. You say he likes muscle magazines.

I would plan on coming out of the shower only in a towel when he is there. Then slip and fall. Fall in such a way that the towel falls out and you are laying there naked.

Look at his reaction.

The bottom line is if you walk up and ask him if he is gay, he is likely to be defensive and it could go wrong.

If you make sexuality an open topic and show off a little, you may find out naturally.

If he is not gay, you will find out without any permanent problem in your relationship with him.

stee99 Posts: 25
Jun 22, 2008 5:35 AM GMT
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sounds to me like your hot for him and want him to be gay, whats it matter what side is bread is buttered on? thing to do would be make it known somehow that you bat on the team, and leave the coming out to him.
You run the risk of painting him into a corner and having him bolt, isnt it better to have a cool roomie that you like to hang with than a potential one off handjob/blowjob/otherjob then total awkwardness till he anounces he's leaving?
theres an oldschool kiwi saying that applys in this situation i think 'dont screw the crew'
walternot Posts: 23
Jun 22, 2008 3:49 PM GMT
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I forgot to mention, that I did not have a first date with a woman until I was 29. I was very shy when it came to women. Even otherwise confident people can be shy when it comes to dating. I have been married and have kids so I did get over it. This just shows that not having a girlfriend proves nothing.

Sometimes male athletes are very concious of their sexuality. They wear revealing clothes some of which show hard ons.

[img]http://www.eastcoastwrestlingclub.org/images/gallery/crotch3.jpg
/img]

The average straight male athlete could be very defensive about his sexuality.

If you simply confront him, he may get defensive. This could lead to all kinds of problems. Instead of continuing to be friends, you could become enemies.

You already said he was embarrassed to be caught masturbating. That is an excuse to open the topic of sexuality.

Soft and gentle is the approach if you want a chance to have sex with him without having him as a defensive enemy.


crispro Posts: 115
Jun 24, 2008 1:59 AM GMT
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Hidden/Deleted Member
Jun 24, 2008 2:07 AM GMT
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Seriously, just pull your dick out and shove it in his face! Thats what I have done in the past with guys I didn't know for sure if they were gay or not and NOT ONE turned it down! Yeah a couple chewed on it, which sucked, but it answered my question!
sxypalestinia... Posts: 1873
Sep 13, 2008 10:29 AM GMT
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I know this thread is very old, but this story is amazing. I am in Flagstaff Arizona right now staying over the weekend with my brother and his family. Beautiful place and lot of cute guys. Lot of trees and everything here are green and nature. I was searching on realjock's guy in Flagstaff... and I was surprised there are many gay guys. I never knew that.
sxypalestinia... Posts: 1873
Sep 13, 2008 10:45 AM GMT
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Oh and here are some wonderful pictures from Flagstaff Arizona... I am telling you gay folks, Arizona is a beautiful state. Unlike other states in the United States.




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