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How long do you wait?
phenomenon Posts: 6
Aug 21, 2008 10:10 AM GMT
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If you were in a long distance relationship and you both agreed at the beginning of the relationship that you would have to eventually live together for it to survive, how long do you wait?

Months, years? If one has promised to move to be with you what is a reasonable amount of time to wait and when does it turn to empty promises and heart ache?

Hidden/Deleted Member
Aug 21, 2008 12:26 PM GMT
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If this is what you yourself are going through I think you are the only person qualified to answer that. Go with your gut instincts.
a1972guy Posts: 2340
Aug 21, 2008 5:51 PM GMT
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muchmorethanmuscle saidGo with your gut instincts.


'Nuff said!! You're the ONLY one who can TRULY answer that one!
bgcat57 Posts: 1136
Aug 21, 2008 6:19 PM GMT
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While what's been said is true, I think I'd add that it's also based on what you'd agreed upon.
If your still getting what you want out of the relationship and their will be more room to grow, and you agreed upon a time frame, then go with that.

If it's an issue, you need to discus it together and come up with a plan you both agree on.

Something this significant (if the relationship is significant) should not be open ended. Statisticly over 80% of long distance relationships don't survive past 2 years*.

The two main factors were stress (most common), lack of intimate contact (2nd most common), the distant third was infidelity with other factors following.

Every situation is different however and I don't presuppose that any of these applies to you.

*(I read the study about 3 months ago and I can't remember the reference, though I remember it was valid to me at the time based on the group doing the study and the sample size.)
ITJock Posts: 1229
Aug 21, 2008 6:20 PM GMT
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Are you ready to give up your life and move to be with him right now?

Why not?

It goes both ways.
phenomenon Posts: 6
Aug 21, 2008 8:02 PM GMT
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After dating 6 months I told him I couldnt move and if he wasn't gonna move we needed to end it. He promised he would move and that was 4 years ago, each year promising me that this is the year.
Hidden/Deleted Member
Aug 21, 2008 9:39 PM GMT
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phenomenon saidAfter dating 6 months I told him I couldnt move and if he wasn't gonna move we needed to end it. He promised he would move and that was 4 years ago, each year promising me that this is the year.


Turn around, I want to see if the word "Welcome" is stamped on your back.
gettoknowit Posts: 1118
Aug 22, 2008 12:14 AM GMT
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I say it all depends on how much intimacy you want in the relationship.

If you both speak the same language and have a kind of life planned out that you would live then you go by that to prepare yourself for your arrangements. Then you can make the goal and set your mind to having it come out exactly how you want. If things go well, success.

MikeOnMain Posts: 544
Aug 22, 2008 1:16 AM GMT
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The fact that you're asking this question in an online forum suggests to me that you already know you've waited long enough.
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