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Im 20! :?
carthesis Posts: 118
Jul 04, 2008 2:48 AM GMT
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Im twenty on july 4th. And while im proud that i was able to come out to my friends before i left my teenage years behind. Ive never been on a date with a guy or really gotten even a kiss .

Pity me.
Question is, all the gay people i see my age have been out for years and have had tons of boyfriends and stuff, so am I really behind everyone?
lilTanker Posts: 581
Jul 04, 2008 4:16 AM GMT
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na mate, its all good, there are tons of guys in your situation that are in there 30s, 40s and even there 50s

You'll get there and the fun is all in the learning.
HighVoltageGu... Posts: 785
Jul 04, 2008 4:46 AM GMT
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Not at all...we all come out at different times. I came out, like you, at 20. It's a wild ride kiddo...hold on.
shyguy346 Posts: 94
Jul 04, 2008 4:58 AM GMT
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Happy 20th. Coming out before leaving your teen years is a big step. You have your whole life ahead of you, so have fun
dharnan Posts: 38
Jul 04, 2008 5:03 AM GMT
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Well, you beat me by two years, so in my book, you're doing awesome!
eestanol Posts: 34
Jul 04, 2008 6:50 AM GMT
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HighVoltageGuy saidNot at all...we all come out at different times.


First off, happy birthday! Second I definitely do agree with HighVoltageGuy in that everyone comes out at different times so being less experienced is really a relative term. I think that your coming out is a good start to a great experience that's yet to come - so don't worry about being "behind everyone" in the dating world
ActiveAndFit Posts: 2037
Jul 04, 2008 6:57 AM GMT
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carthesis saidIm twenty on july 4th. And while im proud that i was able to come out to my friends before i left my teenage years behind. Ive never been on a date with a guy or really gotten even a kiss .

Pity me.
Question is, all the gay people i see my age have been out for years and have had tons of boyfriends and stuff, so am I really behind everyone?
Uhhh .. NO! you are not behind everyone. I didn't come out till I was 31. And besides making out with a few girls, I was a virgin. If I were nearby, I would take you out on a date AND kiss you!

There is nothing like being 20 and shirtless. BTW, cute new pic of you! Happy birthday and consider yourself cyber kissed!
Awemazing Posts: 123
Jul 04, 2008 10:19 AM GMT
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First of all, I'd like to wish you a freakin awesome and safe birthday! YEAH!!!!

Secondly, no. You're not behind. I'm also 20, and I've never had a boyfriend.I'm actually only out to a few of my close friends. I've had a few girlfriends, but I'm currently single right now. It has its ups and downs, but I know what you mean. Your time will come. In the mean time, just keep doing what you're doing. =)
Sedative Posts: 4884
Jul 04, 2008 3:33 PM GMT
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Hah. I'm 2 years older than you and never been kissed too and never had a date. So you're still ahead!
mtown_nerd Posts: 67
Jul 04, 2008 3:45 PM GMT
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I was 23 before I came out and before I had any romantic contact with a guy at all. So, no, you're not late.
SurrealLife Posts: 3453
Jul 04, 2008 4:00 PM GMT
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First of all happy 20th birthday, and on Independence Day! I was 25 when I first kissed a guy and I don't really regret waiting that long to be honest with you.

There is no right time to have sex for the first time. You may be one of those guys that likes to have feelings for the guy before you pursue an intimate relationship. I know I was, and there are quite a few gay men that are like that.
Gigadu Posts: 1073
Jul 04, 2008 4:30 PM GMT
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carthesis said...Question is, all the gay people i see my age have been out for years and have had tons of boyfriends and stuff, so am I really behind everyone?

I came out at 15 but didn't have my first real serious boyfriend until I was 22 so hey, stuff happens on YOUR timetable - not others.
Sporty_g Posts: 566
Jul 04, 2008 4:50 PM GMT
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carthesis saidIm twenty on july 4th. And while im proud that i was able to come out to my friends before i left my teenage years behind. Ive never been on a date with a guy or really gotten even a kiss .

Pity me.
Question is, all the gay people i see my age have been out for years and have had tons of boyfriends and stuff, so am I really behind everyone?


OH HONEY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I came out when I was 37 and that was almost 11 years ago. I was a true "late bloomer"!
Don't worry about "experiences"...trust me handsome...you've got a very bright future...make yourself open and available and put yourself in good situations, you'll meet a bunch of great guys!...

I think you are totally "kiss-able and date-able"... You are definitely not "behind everyone"....just relax and be yourself, it'll happen.
looknrnd Posts: 262
Jul 04, 2008 6:03 PM GMT
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Happy Birthday, Cutie!!!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not having been kissed or dated yet. I'm 23 and came out two years ago as of July 1st. About the same time I started to date a guy for all the wrong reasons. He was cute as hell, as sweet as can be, and an excellent kisser [not to mention excellent in other areas as well]. But, he wasn't the one for me and I only dated him because I felt like there was something wrong with me for not having a boyfriend like all of my friends. The relationship lasted 8 months. It wasn't fair to him at all.

You're not behind anyone because it's different for all of us. I'm sure you want that Great First Kiss with that First Real Date with all the wonderful things that come with it, but hold on for the right guy. Don't settle or feel odd for not having that yet. It's better to just let it happen. You'll appreciate it even more. I didn't really accept that until late last year, but I'm much more comfortable without a boyfriend now and feel a lot more comfortable in the decisions I make. Don't waste your time trying to catch up with anyone.

Happy Independence Day!

Jason
carthesis Posts: 118
Jul 04, 2008 10:29 PM GMT
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yea i guess. I just see people whove been out since their early teens and im jealous. I sorta wanted to do all the normal teen things while i was still a teen
rotabilis Posts: 45
Jul 04, 2008 11:00 PM GMT
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carthesis saidyea i guess. I just see people whove been out since their early teens and im jealous. I sorta wanted to do all the normal teen things while i was still a teen


Well, you're doing a normal teen thing right now: judging yourself cruelly by comparing yourself with others. Get over that and you'll be a lot happier. ;-)

(I came out in my late 20's)
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