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one day, i was sending out my resumes, then suddenly a thought concerned me about job interview. i came out to my mom only, the rest of my families don't know yet. but i don't know if i should tell the interviewer about my sexual orientation? or should i keep my mouth shut before they change their mind on hiring gay people? i know some company have the benefit for gay people, but homophobic is everywhere. so what u think?

No. There's absolutely no obligation to divulge your sexual orientation in a job interview nor is there any need to. What matters most in a job interview is your professionalism, presentation, and an unequivocal demonstration that you're compatible with the company's work ethic.

If your sexual orientation has come up in the interview, something has gone awry because it's extraneous to anything you should be discussing.

According to the Ontario Provincial Human Rights Code, it is absolutely illegal to discuss sexual orientation during a job interview.

These topics cannot be discussed during an interview process:

race
ancestry
place of origin
colour
ethnic origin
citizenship
creed
sex
sexual orientation
age
record of offences
marital status
family status
disability

but then it may be different in different provinces and different states.

However, it should not be discussed in any case, it is frankly none of your employer's business.

No. Do you think str8 people announce that they are str8 during the interview?

I regretfully lied each time I was asked in the past. But now I don't. However I can afford to do this because I live in the UK. It probably isn't as easy for people in other parts of the world. In fact, as a coloured, gay man in the UK, my chances of landing the job are significantly better

I would never ask something like that as an interviewer and I wouldn't expect to be asked if I were interviewed. If I were asked that... red flags...
I'd wonder if this was a company I should work for.

Its nobody's business.

Why would you tell them? Even if you're out and proud, it has no bearing on the job. DenverClimber is right, if it comes up in the interview, something is very wrong.

I'm right there with the rest of the guys above me... NO WAY.

But do make notes of anytime a remark is made towards you by co-workers.

thanks so much for ur inputs, guys. now that definitely cleared up my thought about job interview. u guys are right, sexual orientation is nobody's business. i'll keep that in mind, and walk out if a interviewer ask that question.

LBWNS saidthanks so much for ur inputs, guys. now that definitely cleared up my thought about job interview. u guys are right, sexual orientation is nobody's business. i'll keep that in mind, and walk out if a interviewer ask that question.

Walk out and down to the HR dept ... report such questioning ... you shouldnt have to sacrifice the possible job because of the interviewer's idiotcy. If there is no HR, report it to whomever is in charge or the state...esp. in California

LBWNS saidone day, i was sending out my resumes, then suddenly a thought concerned me about job interview. i came out to my mom only, the rest of my families don't know yet. but i don't know if i should tell the interviewer about my sexual orientation? or should i keep my mouth shut before they change their mind on hiring gay people? i know some company have the benefit for gay people, but homophobic is everywhere. so what u think?

Hell no. Your sexuality is not an issue in your workability. You are 29 and live in California and you didn't know this? Did I just land on Mars?

I actually just interviewed for a job (Director of Career Services) and I got asked about what I would tell people whether they should come out in an interview. My basic point is that you should talk about things that would affect your ability to do the job. You might be really good at baking too, but you don't need to talk about that either.

That's a good question. The answer is HELL NO. Your personal life is your business and should not be mixed in with you professional life. Your sexual preference is not required or needed when going in for a job interview. they are not hiring you because you or aren't gay. they are hiring you because of what you can do and for your skills. Nothing more.

If you ever go in for a job interview and they ask you what your sexual preference is you should leave immediately since that is a violation of your privacy and rights as a person. That sort of info could be used against you, depending on your job, and you could be discriminated against. I'm openly gay but I don't go around telling everyone I'm gay. A few people I work with know but only because I trust them and I told them on my terms. The rest of my coworkers have no clue and if they do they are wise enough not to question me about it at work. After you get the job if you want to tell people your business then cool but I would serious refrain from deluvging that kind of info during an interview. It different when they ask you what your hobbies are if you have done drugs. They ask question like that because those are liabilities. Your sexual preference isn't and has no relevance in a interview.

I'm not there to advertise my sex. I'm there to work and that's all that should matter. What I do and who I do it with on my time is my buisness as far as sex goes.

Don't tell them anything not relevant to the job unless maybe you have an inside track to something you have in common with the interviewer and they ask (like a hobby)

i can honestly tell u that i'm a spoiled person. i regret everyday in my life that i didn't get a job when i was a teenager. i was a spoiled teenager, and never ever thought about having a work experience at young age. now as an adult, i never had a serious job, and my resume is all blank. my interest is art and design. i wanna be an illustrator/graphic designer when i get a job. i've had a few small jobs and job interviews, but they were not related to art/design, and they were not for me at all. those interviewers i met didn't ask many questions, just asked me if i can do the job. simply say, it was very short interview. so landing a job that i want is really hard, cuz of my lack work experience. anyway, i just had a lot of thoughts on the job interview. "sexual orientation" was just pop out of my mind, and that's what got me thinking about a interviewer asking that question. but now i know, so thank u guys for ur inputs, again.

I'm all about keeping it real but being able to put food on the table is more important than representn'.

Amen, slapho.

LBWINS. I commend you for wanting to get a job but being spolied is no excuse. Your story isn't that much different from alot of people your age. I hope you get the job and best wishes. For future references you now know.

None of their business!!!

I told my current employers during the interview when casually asked about my life. It has been great. Now I get consulted on wardrobe, color schemes, lighting. The assumption of fabulousness makes me feel wonderful, if a little campy.

Kudos to coming out at work but don't you feel like the token gay guy? Sounds a bit degrading and rather fucked up for them to assume that just because you are gay you have a sense of fashion.

So one has to wonder how they would've treated you if you hadn't told them you were gay? Just a thought so don't please don't read too far into it. It's not meant to cause any drama.

I have some work and volunteer experience on my resume that tends to answer the questions before it is ever asked. It's never presented a problem that I'm aware of, and I'd never want to work for an employer who did have a problem with it.

Oddly, when I interviewed candidates to work at a gay magazine, I couldn't always tell if the applicants were gay or straight, and I never asked. My first concern was whether they could do the job and work with a team.

unless i am "doing" them, its none of their damned business

Speaking as someone who often interviews candidates, I can assure you, it's not legal in any state I've ever worked in as a manager to ask about sexual orientation during an interview. duglyduckling is right about all that stuff.

Some of that is actually really annoying in some sense, because you can't ask if a candidate is married or partnered or has kids even in the context of trying to figure out a relocation budget. You have to dance around it, like, "Uh, so how many people will we be moving out here?" and go from there. But I understand why the laws are in place, for sure.

I did ask the woman who runs HR at my current studio about domestic partners w/r/t the health insurance when I started here. To my delight she grinned and said, "That's going into effect in a couple months. The wording is very lenient... because I need it to be, myself."

Anyway, if anyone asks you about sexual orientation during an interview, I'd politely dodge the question by informing them, "Hey, just so you know, it's actually illegal to ask that during an interview!" They'll probably be surprised to hear it, but they certainly shouldn't press the issue after that.

That's like telling your employer "oh, and by the way I like the colour pink."

Possible Reactions:
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WTF No way your sexual preferences are nobody's business but yours!

My sexual orientation is the most irrelevant to my job. But my boss is gay and he knew I was gay before he hired me. If I were to be in an interview for a new job though, the last thing I would ever say is that I'm gay. That's like saying I'm white or left handed. Totally irrelevant to my capabilities.

I can't think of anything being More irrelevant to say during a job interview unless you were trying to get a job in gay porn

.... and being gay isn't even a requirement for THAT!

I never bring it up in an interview, it is on my resume.

i don't tell them. my matching louis vuitton shoes/man purse/wallet/business card holder gift set does that for me.

It's non of thier business. What does being gay have to do with your job? If they asked me, I'd probably tell them to shove the job.

No freakin way! Even if you are the most flaming queen in the world, it's none of their business.

No. Unless the job interview is for the rare type of job where your sexual orientation might be relevent - say, mentoring g/l/b/t youth - it should be completely irrelevant.

My company's HR department actually treats questions about sexual orientation as if they are in the same category as marital status, religion, etc. Not relevant to the job, and illegal in some jurisdictions.

Most of my department knows I'm gay, and we have a few other gay folks within the division, but that's more of a topic for afterwork chatter, after you have the job and if you feel comfortable with your coworkers.

I'll go one step further. If I were interviewing someone for a job (which I do from time to time) and the candidate brought up the subject of his/her sexuality, I would consider it a huge red flag and would not hire the person, whether they were gay or straight. Sexuality has no place in a business meeting, unless sexuality is your business. If someone can't get through a meeting without talking about sex, would you want to put that person in front of a customer?

Well, one place were it is (allegedly) relevant is if you are applying for a job that requires a security clearance. They'll want to know all sorts of nasty personal stuff. Among other things, they do talk to your friends and neighbors, and read your web profiles. Allegedly, being gay would be a lever by which a foreign agent might blackmail you into breaking security. By that logic, if you are frankly "out and proud" the blackmail argument wouldn't hold water. Of course, "security" types being what they are, they'd probably come up with some even less logical reason why being out is a security risk. ("He'll read the secret plans over your shoulder while he's doing you...") Yeah, I've worked in those places. Uh... no not those places. Well, actually the security interviews are usually after you're hired, but before they let you do any real work.

And of course, if you are in a state where gays ever get included into the quota system for "disadvantaged minorities," it probably wouldn't hurt to flame a little...

If the guy interviewing me is hot, then I suggestively suck on my finger while fluttering my eyelashes at him.

Sometimes I grab a pencil from his desk, stroke it longingly and remark how big and hard it is.

This technique has yet to get me a job, or even a date, but I'm still refining it.

I've done a good deal of volunteering at organizations that are "queer" focused. So sometimes I let that linger on a CV. I don't overtly talk about my sexuality, but I don't lie about it outright.

I do recall saying once that I lie when I donate blood.
Oddly enough, I still got the job. hmmm....

riptjock saidI'll go one step further. If I were interviewing someone for a job (which I do from time to time) and the candidate brought up the subject of his/her sexuality, I would consider it a huge red flag and would not hire the person, whether they were gay or straight. Sexuality has no place in a business meeting, unless sexuality is your business. If someone can't get through a meeting without talking about sex, would you want to put that person in front of a customer?

Talking about sexual orientation isn't exactly talking about "sex."

I've run magazines where half my staff was gay or trans and, while I didn't ask applicants if they were gay, I had no hesitation in asking them if they felt comfortable working amid a quite pan-sexual staff.

I had coffee today with someone who is doing his doctoral research on transsexuals and career development. He made the comment that trans peeps, because their issue is gender instead of sexual orientation, don't have to ask questions about domestic partner benefits and such, although workplace protections are still an issue.

I don't really see why it would be any kind of "red flag" to ask a prospective employer about a company's policies about discrimination against gay people, benefits, etc .

Hmmm...
If I was ever asked if I was gay in an interview, I'd probably have to be a wise ass (and this would only work if the interviewer was a guy) and be like, 'Sorry man, I'm not gonna sleep with you to get the job!".

obscenewish - of course it's OK to ask about company benefits, but it seemed to me that LBWNS was asking whether he should "come out" during the interview - and that would not be appropriate. Actually any decent sized company should hand you a package outlining all of the company benefits when you show up for the interview. As far as asking whether they discriminate, that just sounds like a bad idea. No company in America would admit that they do, and many interviewers might take it as a challenge or an accusation - in any event it would sound like you have an axe to grind, and might get you labeled as a potential troublemaker. Moreover, all of the above questions should be saved for after the company makes you an offer. Then you're in the power position. In the initial interview, ask about the job, ask about the company's business - but keep it all business.

mindgarden - sorry, I don't agree. I've held several flavors of security clearances going back to the days when they would absolutely not grant you a clearance if they knew you were gay - but no one has ever asked me about my sexuality. they asked my neighbors, former co-workers, etc, but not me. To my knowledge they only ask you directly if you're joining the FBI, CIA, or NSA - not if you're working for a defense contractor. I'm not sure about DoE clearances (nuclear crap); that's not my bag. But it's still not a good idea to inform your employer; all personal info is between you and the government agency that awards the clearance. There is no benefit to telling your employer anything about your personal life that they don't ask for. And by the way, even though the rumor mill says it's OK to be gay as long as you make a "full disclosure", the government has not said so in writing. I knew one transgender guy who finally scame out and had the operation a couple years ago - he made a "full disclosure", and he lost some of his clearances. And in more than 20 years I have never known an openly gay man with my clearances. My philosophy is the same as the advice I give to young surfers on a gnarly day - "Look at the ocean - there's a reason nobody else is out there."

Do I tell them I'm gay in a job interview? All the time. I even bring pictures of me having sex with men to prove it. I pass out pink triangles on 3X5 cards and let them know Ellen is my personal fucking hero

Seriously, I hope no one is stupid enough to ever say a word about their sexuality at a job interview. It has nothing to do with your workability. If they do ask just look them in the eye and ask them, "are you looking for a date or someone to work for you?"

I have a security clearance and they do ask you all sorts of questions regarding your life but they don't ever ask about your sexual preference.

They can ask if you have a criminal record, what's your education level, previous jobs and reasons for leaving them, current or past income and things of that nature. The majority of these questions are things you should've already filled out when doing the application but they can still ask and will do a background check on you should they feel the need to do so. They will even ask for references and can contact people you know like family members and friends (that's common depending on your job) but they will not ask about your sexual preference.

Someone on here as said they can't ask if you are married. Actually they can and on most job applications they even ask if you are single or not and if you have children or health issues that may need to be addressed. Even after answering those questions that still doesn't mean you aren't seeing someone on the side or even gay for that matter but who cares since it's not part of a job description anyway or whether or not you are faithful or gay.

They do not ask if you are gay when joining the FBI, CIA, or any other group. They will, however, ask what your views are concerning certain groups and situations which may include religion, sex, ethical/moral matters and the sort but they won't physically or bluntly ask what your sexual preference is. They'll just do it in a discreetful and tactfull way to see wht your response is.

riptjock said

To my knowledge they only ask you directly if you're joining the FBI, CIA, or NSA - not if you're working for a defense contractor. I'm not sure about DoE clearances (nuclear crap); that's not my bag. But it's still not a good idea to inform your employer; all personal info is between you and the government agency that awards the clearance.

DoD asked my friend, that was in 2001-ish. Anyway I agree with everyone else. You shouldn't mention it anymore than you would say "oh by the way, I'm jewish, is that gonna be a problem?"

DoD does not ask that question. I think your friend might've gotten asked that question for others reasons not concerning job.

Instead just offer information on your sperm count, if they pry, which they probably won't. Or the fire back with "how large is your dick or what size bra do you wear?" That's gonna put out their fire quickly.You won't get the job...but would you really want it anyway with these red flags.

Guy101 saidDoD does not ask that question. I think your friend might've gotten asked that question for others reasons not concerning job.

I don't think they ask directly. But he said when they were doing the polygraph interview they asked him some sideways questions about it.

Yeah, I can believe what you said javaman since thay can ask question that gear towards a sexual prefernce but they on't directly ask it. I said that or something similar in a post above.

For some jobs (like I said above, FBI, CIA, NSA) they make you take a "Lifestyle Polygraph". This isn't typically when you're first hired but sometime later, and again at intervals. They can and do ask questions like, "Have you ever been sexually attracted to someone of the same gender," but they don't necessarily ask that question of everyone.

As far as DoD goes, when I got my first clearance, the investigator did ask one of my former co-workers if I was attracted to women - and then asked the guy if HE was attracted to women! It was completely inappropriate and the investigator could have been fired for it - but the question got asked nonetheless.

I work in higher education which is a fairly accepting profession...my resume was filled with organizations which would indicate an interest in LGBT organizations...

...now, my resume is filled with high level responsibility...there is no need to discuss it, however, there are questions you can ask to see if your organization is gay friendly or not...

...half my staff are gay or lesbian...and when you walk into my office, there are some very gay friendly signs to let people know "you can be yourself in this organization"...

- David

So, David, you're saying that I can be myself by coming into your office dressed like this? I wanna be free! I wanna be me!

LBWNS saidone day, i was sending out my resumes, then suddenly a thought concerned me about job interview. i came out to my mom only, the rest of my families don't know yet. but i don't know if i should tell the interviewer about my sexual orientation? or should i keep my mouth shut before they change their mind on hiring gay people? i know some company have the benefit for gay people, but homophobic is everywhere. so what u think?

It would be totally 100% inappropriate for you to bring up your personal sexual orientation in a job interview, just as it would be inappropriate for the interviewer to ask you about it. Unless it has something to do with you doing the job to the best of your ability, don't even go there...in fact, even THEN don't go there, as it will be a sure fire way to NOT be hired. Not because you're gay, but because you showed lack of good judgment to bring it up in a job interview.

muchmorethanmuscle saidSo, David, you're saying that I can be myself by coming into your office dressed like this? I wanna be free! I wanna be me!

well, if that's you...you look pretty damn good...

I also say we are a "Banana Republic" environment and yes, I do send people home if they don't know how to dress at work...

so make sure you have an appropriat hemline and your foundation matches your skin tone.

- David

Hey that's not really me. Give me some credit. I have MUCH bigger arms than that.

LOL

u guys are right, sexual orientation is nobody's business. i'll keep that in mind, and walk out if a interviewer ask that question
weightlossbuddy.com

sexual orientation is not something that should be brought up during a job interview. it's actually illegal for them to ask you what it is. the only reason you should ever bring it up during an interview is if you feel like it would help your chances of getting the job. i know it's stereotyping but a few examples would be a designer or fashion retail job.