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What's the one that most stands out in your mind? The other day I was in the sauna after a workout and this guy say's to me, "That's a beautiful circumcision you've got."
What the...?
I told him to go and thank my rabbi.

I tend to walk fast, so one day a guy said to slow down so he can have a better look at my ass.

I was in a bar and a guy said do me "You have a very beautiful smile...but even if you didn't have teeth you'd still be beautiful."

My personal favorite:

Why dont you come sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up

"Let's play army - I lie down and you blow me away."

At a bar, I'm looking over guy #1's shoulder 'cause my friend is standing behind and I'm trying to get his attention. Guy #1 then approaches me and says "So, now that you have my attention, what now?!" And then I was like "Um, didn't want your attention, wanted the attention from the guy behind you." He replies with "You ain't gots to lie to kick it!" And walked away, and I was like "WTF?!?!?" And laughed out loud!!!

"Are you the dancer tonight?"

(I was 21, probably 152lbs, and likely dressed in mismatched plaid clothing)

cosmicjewboy saidWhat's the one that most stands out in your mind? The other day I was in the sauna after a workout and this guy say's to me, "That's a beautiful circumcision you've got."
What the...?
I told him to go and thank my rabbi.

Your Rabbi or your Moyel?

This is the worst and funniest one I've heard:

"Are you from tennessee... cuz you're the only ten I see"

it made me lol

If I were in charge of the alphabet I would have put 'U' and 'I' closer together.

I love that one.

What are these? How does one get lucky enough to have someone humilate themself with such lines. If I was ever fortuante enough to hear any lines like these I'd buy the guy a drink.

There are 206 bones in the body....you want another?!? Works EVERY time fellas! haha

"Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?"

These are all very funny! I think it says something about my life as a single but guys didn't try to use lines on me, I think I intimidated them, without realizing it.

Timberoo said"Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?"

I'm almost ashamed to say that would work on me, haha. I seem to have a weakness for Italian guys.

BostonVball said
I'm almost ashamed to say that would work on me, haha. I seem to have a weakness for Italian guys.

would you like a quarter of one?

MunchingZombie said[quote][cite]BostonVball said[/cite]
I'm almost ashamed to say that would work on me, haha. I seem to have a weakness for Italian guys.

would you like a quarter of one? [/quote]

Oh wow we're witnissing one

Guy101 saidWhat are these? How does one get lucky enough to have someone humilate themself with such lines. If I was ever fortuante enough to hear any lines like these I'd buy the guy a drink.

I'm with you.... I'd welcome a few of these lines!!

MunchingZombie said[quote][cite]BostonVball said[/cite]
I'm almost ashamed to say that would work on me, haha. I seem to have a weakness for Italian guys.

would you like a quarter of one? [/quote]

LMAO - while it doesn't quite have the same ring to it... it would probably still work haha

"You remind me of my grandson"

Crimthann said"You remind me of my grandson"

EW!!!

It may not count as a pick up line but in a club once someone told me to take off my top

would my muscled ass cover your face

cosmicjewboy said "That's a beautiful circumcision you've got."

speechless

I'll never forget Billy Crystal as Fernando on Saturday Night Live - "Let's go back to my place and do things I'll tell my friends we did anyway".

"Boy, you make me want to be a better man"

the most common pick up line in a gay bar

"may I push in your stool?"

sdn8 saidthe most common pick up line in a gay bar

"may I push in your stool?"

OMG!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Met a guy in the gym and introduced myself with" Pleased to meet you". He replied "Meat to please YOU"....And he did

BearCub17 saidMy personal favorite:

Why dont you come sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up

Wow, I remember that one from kindergarten! lol

I cringe at cheesy pick up lines, but someone posted one here the other day that was really good:

"You have the right to bare arms." That would work on me.

My favorite one of all time is one that was said to me when I first arrived in Houston.

The guy went, "You must be a parking ticket -CUZ YOU GOT FINE WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU!!"

I laffed so hard!

Buckwheet said[quote][cite]BearCub17 said[/cite]My personal favorite:

Why dont you come sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up

Wow, I remember that one from kindergarten! lol[/quote]

EWWWWWW!!!!

I must have been drunk when I used this one: I was with some friends (two male, one female) and I mentioned I was on a "penis embargo" -- at which point I turned to my female friend and said, "That mean's YOU'RE in luck! I have my snorkle AND I have my Carpet Fresh! We could have some fun!"

Needless to say nothing happened...other than my friends laughing at me.

BostonVball said[quote][cite]Timberoo said[/cite]"Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?"

I'm almost ashamed to say that would work on me, haha. I seem to have a weakness for Italian guys. [/quote]

Ditto for me I have always loved Italian men. Also Greek, Jewish, Arabic and Spanish men as well.

Unfortunately Italian men seem to have this need to be the "top". Well I am also a "top" and all you get when two tops meet is a great wrestling match!

"Have you considered cosmetic amputation? Cuz you'd look much better on your knees." That was more retarded and creepy than creative. I was totally weirded out and just walked away.

JBE60 said[quote][cite]BostonVball said[/cite][quote][cite]Timberoo said[/cite]"Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?"

I'm almost ashamed to say that would work on me, haha. I seem to have a weakness for Italian guys. [/quote]

Ditto for me I have always loved Italian men. Also Greek, Jewish, Arabic and Spanish men as well.

Unfortunately Italian men seem to have this need to be the "top". Well I am also a "top" and all you get when two tops meet is a great wrestling match! [/quote]

Haha I know what you mean, fortunately I like to wrestle

I just realized I didn't post one yet:

Guy: "Hey I really like that shirt"

Me: "Thanks..."

Guy: "It would look better on my bedroom floor"


....it took me a second to get it

First Guy: "This is my magic watch"

Second: "Why's it magic?"

First: "It tells me things, like you're not wearing underwear standing next to me"

Second: "Actually, I am wearing underwear"

First: "Sorry, I forgot to tell you it's 10 minutes fast"

courtesy of the Graham Norton show

This is from back in the day after I had recently watched an episode of Fresh Prince (LOL):


"Girl I know you must be tired b/c you've been running through my mind all day"

collegestud86 said"Let's play army - I lie down and you blow me away."

OK then. You play Poland, and I'll play Germany, and I'll come and invade you.......

Pattison said[quote][cite]collegestud86 said[/cite]"Let's play army - I lie down and you blow me away."

OK then. You play Poland, and I'll play Germany, and I'll come and invade you.......[/quote]

That is very funny Pattison.

"Is there something wrong with your phone? "
"no"
"Are you sure, because it doesn't have my number in it!"


What about...

"have you ever worked on a farm?"
"because you sure know how to raise an ass"

Pattison said[quote][cite]collegestud86 said[/cite]"Let's play army - I lie down and you blow me away."

OK then. You play Poland, and I'll play Germany, and I'll come and invade you.......[/quote]

Okay. You play Greece and I'll play persia and I'll Barrel Through your Hot Gates.

Umm... you play Trojans and I play Greeks and... ?

Fuck me if Im wrong, but, you want to fuck me don't you?




Or



Which way are you going? 'Cuz you can go down all night long.

Here's one: "Yeah, I'm kinda lost. Can you give me directions to get to your house?"

The one I've always liked - If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Timberoo saidThe one I've always liked - If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Well, you must have gotten a lot of like out of that one cuz it's been around long enough. ...

Caslon4000 said
Well, you must have gotten a lot of like out of that one cuz it's been around long enough. ...

so have you but we like you still

Timberoo said[quote][cite]Caslon4000 said[/cite]
Well, you must have gotten a lot of like out of that one cuz it's been around long enough. ...

so have you but we like you still

Speaking of around, why do you wear those large bowling shirts?

Caslon4000 said
Speaking of around, why do you wear those large bowling shirts?

well duh, they go with the shoes

Timberoo said[quote][cite]Caslon4000 said[/cite]
Speaking of around, why do you wear those large bowling shirts?

well duh, they go with the shoes

...and with the baner-naner-naner?

Wiseass1976 saidIf I were in charge of the alphabet I would have put 'U' and 'I' closer together.

I love that one.

awwwww, thats so cute.

It would be nice to get a couple of the pick-up lines in here used on me.

Caslon4000 said

...and with the baner-naner-naner?

I was hungry

JBE60 saidThat is very funny Pattison.

It was funny when Bette Midler said it 20 years ago too.

This is not so funny, but because it is the one and only pick up line ever used on me, it really stands out.

An older gentleman walks up to me and says, "What winks and f**ks like a tiger?"

Even though I should've seen what was coming, I asked, "What?"

He leans in with a cheeky grin and gives me a long, slow wink.

I groaned, but I had to laugh, wondering if that line ever worked for him before.

We talked for a while. He turned out to be a decent guy.

My ex said to me one evening - "I want to breed your ass!"

I said because, "because I'm a great dane now?"

and my personal favorite...

"I wish I could get you pregnant..."

Which was followed by this expression on my face -


Uh... somebody needs an anatomy lesson...

"How would you like to take a mustache ride?" Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

"Have you ever been made love to by a black man?" That one actually worked because he was trying to get me to laugh and the key to my pants is in my funny bone.

"OMG! Are your eyes real?" To which I answered: "No, I cut them out of my last boyfriend while he was sleeping."

"Wanna fuck?" I told him I had irritable bowel syndrome and was feeling less than fresh.

Unfortunately mine are usually from wemon, one sent a note by her "cute" son-in-law at a restaurant, the note said "you look nice, call me ___ ___ _____", and the most recent "nice legs man" I said, "OH !!! maybe I better cover them up!!!" a little over a year ago, I let a friend talk me into going to a gay bar, well this really pretty 29 year old girl, told me she liked older men, I said well honey, what do you want with an old man, then she proceeded to tell me LOL !!! I cut her off by telling her that "I'm gay" !! "Oh she said that don't matter" Would you go to bed with me if I find a bi guy here, then we could do a threesome" I said, no I'm not doing that, "charlie, wouldn't stand up for that" LOL !!! (charlies my pet name for my dick)

Ahahaha Dennis!

Charlie bit me!

hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?



Enough to break the ice; I'm andy.

Funkapottomous saidhey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?



Enough to break the ice; I'm andy.

i like it, its corny but effective

A kid comes up to me in a class we were both taking and asks me if i would happen to know how to fix a Prince Albert hole that his X -BF persuaded him to get... ....I really had to resist a straight line like that but i thought WTF...and said "Well, I'll have to take a look at it.. which i did......

How does one get lucky enough to have someone humilate themself with such lines. If I was ever fortuante enough to hear any lines like these I'd buy the guy a drink.
weightlossbuddy.ocm

(the guy)You remind me of a movie I saw.

(me ) What movie?

(He) The Fifth Element

(Me) Why is that?

(He) because you are perfect!

Oh my some southern boys have some of the best pick-up lines hands down lol

Ok I'll bite,

A guy once said to me,

"You're like this shot glass of Glenlivet" (whisky)

I looked stupidly blank.

"Bottoms up." he says, and tosses it back, making sure a single drop ran down his throat, over his collarbone and between his pecs.

....probably had to practise in the mirror to get it so perfect.

What did I use on Bill? Both of us were standing in a dance club, giant light show with glitterball etc on massive steel rigging overhead, lights spinning and syncopating. The whole thing wobbled,shook and swayed in every direction.

I walked up behind this real cute guy (Bill)looking up at it, leaned in close to his ear and said,

"If there's an earthquake we're all going to die." The rest is history.

I got bored in class one day and asked my student's to tell me thier best pickup lines. We had to stop after I got this one, lol

- Hey, does this smell like chloroform?

Ok i heard this one out of a book full of pickup lines, and really liked it cause its the only one i remember. "Do you wash your pants in windex? cause i can really see myself in them".

sdn8 saidthe most common pick up line in a gay bar

"may I push in your stool?"

OMG sportz told me that one last night and i was dying, I couldnt stop laughing, love it!

'I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours??'

or

Guy #1: Hey, you wanna get some pizza anf fuck??
Guy #2: (walks away in digust)
Guy #1: What?? You don't like pizza??

I got a pretty good laugh out of scubaguy's chloroform line as well

I've never had a pick-up line thrown at me, the only two guys who've ever come up to me at a gay bar were quite direct. One said I was cute and the other took my hand and put it to his face. I'm not really sure that guy even knew he was doing it. But I'm 95% sure he didn't remember even doing it the next day.

That said, anything would probably work on me. It would at least make me feel good inside.

This one makes me laugh, "I have a mouth full of skittles and i know you wanna taste the rainbow."

Help! There's something wrong with my eyes!!! I just can't keep them off of you!

Do you need a job? I have one for you . . . but it blows

My friend wants to know if you think I'm cute.

Hey, I'm going to be making love to you to night ... with or with out you.

You know winning the lottery doesn't mean much when you've got a weak heart.

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful guy in the room?

Hey do you work here? Well would you like to make some money anyway?

Wanna drink? This ones on me, maybe later I can get on you . .

Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?

If i followed you home would you keep me?

If you stood in front of a mirror with 11 roses you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

I can't wait till tomorrow, somehow you get more handsome every day.

I would say god bless you but it looks like he already did.

Wanna make a porno? We don't have to tape it . . .

I see your drunk ...we have something in common.

I wanna floss with your pubic hair(eeewwww/but i luv Danny)

Why don't we go down behind a rock and get a little boulder . . .

My fiends call me _____, but u can call me tonight!

They call me coffee cause I grind so fine

Save water ... lets shower together.

I like that shirt...can i talk you out of it?

haha got another one! this one is actually from a straight drunk friend of mine trying to pick up an asian chick.

his line was "hello kitty"

i don't know why, but it really made me laugh

"is there a mirror in your pocket because i see me in your pants"

or lol

"make like a knife and spread em"

Hey everybody this topic is great, i had such a great laugh reading some of urs that i decide not to stay out and add 2 from my personal experience.

I was in shorts on a gay bar when a guy said to me "Nice legs!!! What time do they open??? "

The secound happened in a club, i was drunk n barefoot when a guy told me "Nice shoes! Fancy a fuck?"


Both of them worked with me looooooooool

Try them!!!!!!!!

hehe
http://www.realjock.com/reply/213836/
SUBMIT

I have always wanted to be bold enough to try this one...

"Fuck me if I am wrong, but don't you have a small to average size penis?"

Think that would work?

How about...

Wanna play house? You can be the screen door and I'll bang on you all night long.

I hope you know CPR because you just took my breath away.

There's a quarter in my pocket and it's yours if you can find it.

is there any young jock men who love to date older gay men out there...

Tynificent said"Boy, you make me want to be a better man"

your mom is is right :::: you are the hotest hot,hot,hot,man i want you.>...

Tynificent said"Boy, you make me want to be a better man"

soory i read the line wrong i thought it said your mom said your the top of the line.well you are still hoy,hot,hot,

of the few I have gotten the best are

Guy walks up to me, taps me on the shoulder (and he was FINE) pulls me in, whispers in my ear "I wanna hear you scream my name over and over again"

That same guy, a few weeks later, does the same thing but this time whispers "I'm gonna make you beg me this time"

I'm ashamed to say, they both worked

I like the chloroform one, thats really good.

Will have to try the fuck me if I'm wrong one at some point too hahaha

I'd do things to you I wouldn't do to a farm animal

For me the funniest pick ups I get are when a guy goes to great lengths to flatter me and buy me a drink, than insist I come home with him for a quick one; as if risking an STD and looking like tramp were worth that little piddle worth of trouble.

"listen... i may not be the best looking guy in the room... but i'm sure as hell the only one talking to YOU"

The widow market.