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I am 19 and I find it impossible to find guys under 21 who are not online. so my question is: WHERE DO I FIND THESE GUYS IN THE REAL WORLD?!?!

also I am interested in knowing what is the best way to hit on a guy? not some older guy who just wants to fuck me but someone my age that also wants a lasting relationship. aka I dont want a one night stand, i want a bf.

also I am new to the whole shave/ trim/ hairy/ wax. What do guys under 21 prefer?

thanks guys!

Well since you are under 21 you can't go to a bar (the US is in the dark ages in this regard, in Canada it is 19).

Any gay youth organizations near where you live? A place where you can TALK to guys your own age so you can get to know them. I would suggest gay sports clubs but they often do not attract guys your age.

Although the internet can be a place to hook-up, there must be some 19-20 year old guys that want to have more than just sex!

As for your second question, I will leave that to others, I have strong opinions about going au naturel. No shaving or waxing for this hairy chested guy.

Dude, you wanna seriously date at this age??? Seriously, DON'T!! Just have fun and work on you!!

you could call my ex-boyfriend. Apparently, he is very interested in 19 year olds now... Oh shit did I say that?

A few problems. First, you are 19. Your peers, for the most part, are not interested in long lasting relationships. Oh they might say they are and may genuinely believe that is what they want, but what they really want is to date, have sex, and play the game. Second, if you are interested in a long lasting relationship, why limit your pool of men to guys under 21?

My suggestion, if you honestly think you want a long lasting relationship, go out with a guy ten years older than you. Chances are they will be more mature and LTR material.

Best of luck.

DUDE... you can take the kinderqueers who all hit on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess they think im a babysitter or something!!!!!!!

My rule... if you can buy booze and didnt vote in the last presidential election, get thee gone!

No one has given you very good advice so far (in my opinion). I'd say get involved in some gay organizations or try going to some clubs that let 18 and ups in. And don't believe those guys who say no one at that age is looking for a relationship. I met my bf when he was 18 and I was 20 and we have been together for almost 5 years. We met at a small conservative college in Indiana, so if I can find a boy there you can find one anywhere. I do know that I found him when I stopped looking and stopped worrying about finding someone, which is hard to do. Hope that helps a little or gives you hope.

Dude honestly hold off on the dating..... you are young(as am I). Enjoy these years....in my opinion dating comes with maturity...... The reason you dont find guys under 21 online etc is because they are out living life with their buds etc. Trust me i was the same way

Well I think that some people here are confusing "dating" with a "relationship" -- you can date any number of people, but are (traditionally-speaking) only in a relationship with one person.

The problem is, for both you and any potential bf your age, is that you are of an age where what you want at 19 may not be what you want at 20, that may not be what you want at 25 (personally and/or professionally). You're still young, so don't put pressure on yourself to become part of a couple. Get involved in things you are interested in (sports, hobbies, volunteer work, etc.) and you will in turn become interesting (not that you may not already be) to people who are potential datemates (amongst whom there may be a potential bf).

Remember -- a man should not COMPLETE your life, but should COMPLIMENT your life.

MunchingZombie saidMy suggestion, if you honestly think you want a long lasting relationship, go out with a guy ten years older than you. Chances are they will be more mature and LTR material.

It's a decently better chance, but it's no guarantee. Believe me, I've always dated older than myself (with, I believe the single execption being six months younger than I am) and I've found that age sometimes doesn't really make a positive difference. This specially true when you have someone who is older and set in his ways and believes they know where they stand, when really they don't. People tend become much more inflexible as they become older (well, not everyone) and sometimes that can be the undoing of a relationship.

I dated someone 13 years my senior earlier this year and it didn't work out because he thought he was always right and I was always wrong, because I was younger. It doesn't work that way. It was specially frustrating because no matter the age difference, it's always going to be a case where I'll know things the other person doesn't and vice versa...and whenever I knew he was wrong he just refused to even so much as listen to me because "he knew better."

I also don't see what is wrong with the original poster wanting a relationship and people here saying that he shouldn't go for one. Whether or not we like to admit it, there is a lot of growing to be done through our contacts with other people, specially through relationships. If he feels he wants to be in one, then by all means he should go for it. Even if, by chance, he wasn't ready or mature enough for it (keyword being "if"), he would still do a lot of learning about himself and about his inner needs at this given time.

Sometimes it takes us jumping into a challenge or a situation to realize that we're not ready for it and that the best thing to do is to walk away and then return when we feel the time is right.

Kharlo,

100% not guarantee. There are men in their 50's who are less mature than men in their 20's. But I still think he should cast his net a little wider than under 21 and looking for a LTR.

I think he should live it up and not worry about dating at such a young age. You have your whole life to do that. Best advice I give is for you to get what needs to be gotten and develop yourself before worrying about wanting to be with someone.

Besides, I think you can hold for 2 more years and as soon as you hit 21 you won't know what to do with yourself. LOL. Have some fun and don't worry too much about the whole dating thing. Trust me when I say that a cutie like you will be having all sorts of opportunities and possibilities in the very near future.

mm, just places where gay guys congregate? the mall perhaps? otherwise in my experience grocery stores are full of gay guys.

MunchingZombie saidKharlo,

100% not guarantee. There are men in their 50's who are less mature than men in their 20's. But I still think he should cast his net a little wider than under 21 and looking for a LTR.

I do agree with you that he should cast his net a bit wider and not worry to much about age difference unless it's something massive.

Look kharlo, can we just agree to agree?

MunchingZombie saidLook kharlo, can we just agree to agree?

Absolutely not! *Angry face!*

Ha, ha!

Well I must admit when I was 19 or 20 I was not looking at anybody beyond 20 or 21. Some guys are like that. I was too immature to handle a 25+ year old and would not have been able to relate to him. So I can understand youngblond888's preference for someone around his age.

As for dating or not dating at such a young age, again it depends on the individual. Some guys want a LTR, others want to sow their wild oats. I have never seen an instruction manual for gay relationships. They are not like a piece of furniture from IKEA you have to put together.

If you are 19 or 20 and want to find Mr. Right, then more power to you. If you actually meet someone and fall in love, and he reciprocates, then don't automatically think "I am too young, I should meet more people". He might be the last good relationship you have!

In my limited experience in this world (being only 19 myself), I have found that if you simply go about your daily life in a confident, reasonably carefree way, then good things will happen ;)

And guys under 21 are attracted to the same thing guys over 21 are attracted to; various different things.

I'm sure you'll find someone, but it isn't always easy. Good luck!

[quote][cite]JDB_REMIX said[/cite] the mall perhaps? i have been to the mall soooooooooooooo many times and yet to meet anyone. im on the same boat.. i cant find anyone and it sucks.. idk where to find these "organizations" either.

i wouldn't advise against dating- i did all through highschool and it was frustrating- but i've learned a lot and feel ahead of the game :p it was lonely- even more so than average gay life experience lol- but you'll find guys through school- especially if you're on a sports team or something. i did varsity gymnastics and there were a lot of cute gay kids in that that i'd meet from other nearby schools. just be involved- maybe start a GSA at your school? more and more guys are coming out at younger ages now too- so there should be options out there. just don't get caught up in clubs the like- you don't want to get cut up and jaded so soon... just be yourself and hold true to your standards.

Dating in general can be difficult and frustrating, no matter how old you are. Though I find that the people that get the most frustrated are the ones who are extreme about it. They put so much emphasis on finding someone that when/if it doesn't work out, or work the way they want or expect - they're disappointed.

It's been my experience that an LTR at your age is somewhat unrealistic. Others (fleeting few) have had different experiences, and found it to be possible.

Here's the constant factor.... ANYTHING is possible. You could meet the love of your life tomorrow, or not until you're much older. Either way, every day is an chance to grow. Experience new things.

I've seen people respond saying not to date... I would say just don't get too serious about it (in the beginning). If you happen to meet someone and things go well for a time, then you can start thinking in more serious terms.

For now, my advice would be to keep things light and fun. Concentrate on building a strong social circle of friends. You're going to need/want them.

Where do I find these guys in the real world? - Unfortunately there's no exact answer to this. So if you're looking to cast a net... cast it wide. Try different things. Do you play sports? See if there's a gay/gay friendly league in your area. Clubs/bars work for some people, though I personally only find them fun when I'm with a group of friends. And don't be so fast to discount the internet either, a lot of guys have met on different types of sites (some better than others) like this one. Use your brain if you do... there are a lot of scary/dishonest people out there. And most importantly... through friends!

How to hit on a guy?... hmmmm, I'm by no means an expert in any way but here goes - my experience would be to just start talking lol. Really when you think about it, that's the toughest part right? Approaching someone. Start by just introducing yourself. From there just think of topics of conversation and let the conversation flow. Things like music, movies, school, work, interests (anything really). From that you may find you have a lot in common, or nothing at all. If you're finding that you have similar interests - propose to enjoy one of them together. I dunno, maybe you both like sports... invite him to go to a game sometime or something. If the chemistry is there and he's as interested as you - it will be a breeze and happen very naturally. If it doesn't... well then either you move on or have made a friend in the process.

shave/trim/hairy/wax... to be perfectly honest, this is something that you're going to have to figure out on your own. And when I say that, I mean what YOU like YOUR body to be. Guys out there have so many different expectations/preferences with things like this. The truth is you never really know what someone likes until you're with them. (Unless it has been discussed beforehand). I am not a fan of body hair, personally. I don't really like it on me, or the person I'm dating (a little is fine). But that's just me. I know people who's motto is "the furrier the better". While it sends shivers down my spine, it works for them. For now, I would say keep things clean and trim. Don't go all bald eagle unless you really like it or are just incredibly bored one day and want to know what it's like (moisturize if you do )


Go out, have fun, make friends, date - enjoy it (be safe). EVERY relationship you have, whether it be a friend, lover, boyfriend... is going to contribute to who you are (and you to them). Both good and bad. Remember that.

Living in the United States really blows if you're under 21 and you want to find someone. Its so difficult unless you can get into bars and shit. I'm 19 and I have only been in a few relationships, all of which I feel are complete bullshit. I am looking for something sincere!

If you still going to school (college) you may want to get involved with some athletic team. Wrestling might be something to look into.

If your not still going to school, look at the site www.outsports.com. You can do a search by geographic location and find some sports clubs. Only thing is that the age level of guys on the teams is probably pretty diverse, not just guys in the are range your lookin for.

Good Luck

Is there such a thing as gay dating under 21?

I thought it was "jerk jerk* "ok I am done now... thx byeee"

:-)

I have the same frustration with you so I can't really help, but on your last question, as a 19 year old I like it hairy or trimmed hehehe..

Wtf... so what - when we're young, we are supposed to fuck our brains out?! Geez, I want a relationship as well! I hate it when people think that gays my age HAVE TO party all the time, have wild sex with as many people as possible and be irresponsible, little pricks...

Dude, finding underage gay partners is hard. I hear things in US are different, but here you can go to a night club with an adult, so I go out sometimes but I mostly find guys online... it's safer from where I stand.

I would say that if you are straight up looking for a boyfriend, you aren't going to find one. If you are looking for people your age to casually date, they are easy to find. Hit up the gay bars and clubs. As much as people think that the youngin's aren't welcome there, I know that I got a lot more drinks than most of the people there that were above 21 and I'm really not that attractive. Most people at clubs are looking for fun, and not lasting relationships or good conversation. Basically, don't even look at the boys dancing on the tables or poles, look for a boy that is your age and sitting along the sidelines of the dancefloor. He'll be wondering why the hell he is there, and you'll be able to show him. A lot of people go just to be around other people who understand what you are.

The best way to hit on a guy is just to start a conversation with him. If you click, things will go on naturally. Looking for a long term relationship is a bad thing though. They tend to find you, instead of it being the other way around.

Different guys prefer different things, but most guys under the age of 21 are still experimenting to find out all of the things that they do like. That includes their own trimming along with yours.

Heh, I feel the original poster. I'm what you call a serial monogomist. I hate really dating around, I'm a one at a time kind of guy. Plus, goign to school and working will kind f tear p your time, Personally I'm just biding my time until i graduate and then getting a ob, it becomes alot easier then. The men on my Campus are mostly dirty whores anyway.

And about the hair thing. I like to date a man, so hair is not a problem, a little to alot i really don't have a preference.

The Gay and Lesbian center here has weekly mixers. They have their "20 Somethings" night as well as their "18 And Over" night.

A local bar here (Hamburger Mary's) also does an "18 and over" night on Fridays. They call it "Boy Bar".

I'm sure NY must have things like this.

I say lookup some local gay clubs and centers and find out!

As far as the hair thing goes. Its all a matter of personal choice.

youngblond888 saidI am 19 and I find it impossible to find guys under 21 who are not online. so my question is: WHERE DO I FIND THESE GUYS IN THE REAL WORLD?!?!

also I am interested in knowing what is the best way to hit on a guy? not some older guy who just wants to fuck me but someone my age that also wants a lasting relationship. aka I dont want a one night stand, i want a bf.

also I am new to the whole shave/ trim/ hairy/ wax. What do guys under 21 prefer?

thanks guys!

Go to myspace !!! there's a lot of cute young gays there..

muscletroy saidIs there such a thing as gay dating under 21?

I thought it was "jerk jerk* "ok I am done now... thx byeee"

:-)

It does exist.. Almost all of my teenage friends show no interest in hook up. The one who shows me that kind of interest are from the age group of 28 and above.

youngblond888 saidI am 19 and I find it impossible to find guys under 21 who are not online. so my question is: WHERE DO I FIND THESE GUYS IN THE REAL WORLD?!?!

also I am interested in knowing what is the best way to hit on a guy? not some older guy who just wants to fuck me but someone my age that also wants a lasting relationship. aka I dont want a one night stand, i want a bf.

also I am new to the whole shave/ trim/ hairy/ wax. What do guys under 21 prefer?

thanks guys!

I find it hard to take you too seriously because you have on your profile under your "Looking For" section that you are also here for hookups? Not sure that compliments the "I don't want a one night stand, I want a bf" comment.

Good Luck,
Chizzad

I remember when I was 16... was dating and fucking girls and boys at the same time. By 19, I thought I really wanted a long-term relationship, but the truth is, I wasn't ready and few people that age really have the maturity for a committment- to anything.

I would second the poster who told you to "have fun and enjoy life." You will have plenty of time to find a partner, buy the house, and get the two little dogs later.

I was going to support your efforts but Chizzad makes a good point. I took your post at face value but then after reading his comment I decided to read your profile first.

Since you say you are "down with anything" it does contradict the post you've made here.

I do believe there are rare occasions where young men want to get hitched and not be a total whore slut (I'm a retired one by the way :lol, but judging by your profile I don't get the impression that you are really looking for a boyfriend.

First know the difference between sexual attraction and emotional attraction. When asked what we want in a relationship, people are so quick to list emotional traits. But then we so often go for that guy who can make us hard with one glance.

In other words stay open and give people a chance to grow on you. Look for friends instead of a bf and look forward to what shocking and surprising developments may occur.

Don't over analyze what your needs are. Sometimes you'll be surprised by how much someone can compliment you in ways that you never consider.

At our age, where so many people just aren't ready for the kind of connection that we are, its hard to find a relationship. Thats why its best to just let things go with the flow and remain open.

I had been searching since age 17. I decided to take a laid back approach and just enjoy life and I enjoyed the hell out of life too lol and now me and my boyfriend are getting ready to get an apartment after I get back from basic training.

He was the last person I expected to fall for and I had known him for more than year before we started dating. I was just to closed minded to see that it was in front of me the entire time.

My first real relationship happened when i was 18 and in college.. if you are in school its a great place to meet guys. start out by jsut hanging out with them.. thats what me and my ex did.. we actually met through my roommate and then started hanging out without him and ended up dating a few weeks later. we were together for almost 2 years before we broke up but now we are best friends and still live together... dont be in a rush.. you just have to let things flow. when you give up searching is usually when something jsut falls into your lap. good luck bud