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Hi everybody, I know this might seem pretty obvious, but you still gotta help me out on this one.

So i'm a young 20 year old guy, who last summer came to terms with who i am, and accepted myself, also i'm not out yet, but i do know that it won't be too many days or weeks before I let my parents and siblings in on my little secret. Being closeted is energy consuming, and I basically want to get rid of the burden on my shoulders, so I'll be better at focusing on more important thing in life.

However back to the topic. At my gym where I workout, there's this guy, he's 18 almost 19.
I've sort of allways had a crush on him since i met him the first time around december 07. Inspite of that I had allways assumed that he was straight, and left it at that. He's very popular among the boys in the gym and class at school (he is graduating highschool this summer),and a lot of them look up to him, cause he's pretty, muscular and cool, all girls around him are so into him, according to my friend. As far as I know he doesn't have a girlfriend, and I am not sure he has had one, but i'm not sure.

Anyways a couple of days ago me and a friend(who for some reason appears to know him) where going through our workout schedule, and he came into the gym. He said hi to my workout buddy, and began working out.
I'm not going to hide the fact, that I find him to be extremely attractive, so I'm ussually checking him out whenever he's not looking.
Towards the end of the workout me and my buddy where doing cardio on bicycle machines. And he came by complimenting us for our motivation, strength etc. (nothing suspicious in that). However when my friend had to leave after 10 min. and i continued on cardio, he went to do pushups and other kinds of resistance training.
Where he did it, there's this mirror, where he's clearly able to see me, and he even winked, jokingly/happilly. I winked back, not putting anything into it, and continued my training.
After a couple of minutes i looked over to him, to see him standing close to the mirror (as if being sure no one saw him) with his cameraphone pointing at my direction through the mirror. Also i should note that it was less than an hour before closing time, and i was the only one at the cardio area. I know he saw me looking, even though I didn't stare and acted as nothing had happened, cause after a minute he went to another machine only to be at it for a couple of seconds and moving on to the next(as if he was becoming restless/nervous).
He did that a couple of times before deciding to leave the gym.
I couldn't stop smilling, and kept on thinking that he thinks I'm pretty.
Now however i'm worried, for what's going to happen in the future, i like him, but do i dare to make a move. It really is time for me to get my first boyfriend. And what if he's in denial, he's so popular, and might fear losing something if he is openly gay.
But you are gay and have a crush on somebody if you take pictures of a guy at the gym, are you not? Help me out guys!

do him. as soon as possible.

closet-to-closet cases work very well.

Next time your at the gym ask him if he wants to get a after work out smoothie together or a coffee or whatever. What do you have to lose. Just try and time it so you leave at the same time.

Seems kind of strange. Maybe he wanted to make a profile on Real Jock but didn't want to use his own photo!

your 20 and your graduating high school.................

This is fun.

It's simple. Just ask him if he wants to work out some time. That's the beginning of you finding out.

Jaimemomo saidyour 20 and your graduating high school.................

no VIVIV is 20 , the boy with the camera is 18 and graduating high scool

Jaimemomo saidyour 20 and your graduating high school.................

sorry to go off topic and sorry to be mean but even IF he was 20 and graduating from high school you shouldn't be such an ass

Jaimemomo saidyour 20 and your graduating high school.................

Yawn.

You're 20 and you're graduating high school.

But, that said, this 'story' sounds a bit made up, and some of the logic flows strangely. So I won't get down on you for calling that out.

Talk to him...

Just see how he reacts to you
If he's interested he'll reciprocate in the conversation

Word of warning...
some very attractive guys realize this fact
and get off on it and egg it on sometimes

Why? Because they can

Jaimemomo saidyour 20 and your graduating high school.................

No i graduated last year. If you read it says he is graduating this year.

Personally, if I caught someone taking photos of me without my permission, I'd approach them and put a stop to it. You have NO IDEA what he intends to do with that photo. He could have just been nice to you in order to cause you to let down your guard. Seriously, the advice to hit on him or 'do him' is rather short sighted. His behavior borders on perverted. Think about it. If he were a 70 year old man doing the same thing...what would you do?

RunintheCity saidPersonally, if I caught someone taking photos of me without my permission, I'd approach them and put a stop to it. You have NO IDEA what he intends to do with that photo. He could have just been nice to you in order to cause you to let down your guard. Seriously, the advice to hit on him or 'do him' is rather short sighted. His behavior borders on perverted. Think about it. If he were a 70 year old man doing the same thing...what would you do?

I guess you do have a serious point on that one. That it borders to crossing the line, and that you should know where the boundaries are located. But what if he does like me, i really just don't know...

He may like you....but if he knows you caught him taking the picture then why not just approach you than...the cat is out the bag!!!! If you see him again talk to him and then bring it up...straight guys dont go around taking pictures of other guys.

gymguy1 saidHe may like you....but if he knows you caught him taking the picture then why not just approach you than...the cat is out the bag!!!! If you see him again talk to him and then bring it up...straight guys dont go around taking pictures of other guys.

I get the point. Ultimately there is no other way finding out, than talking to him, and asking him about his ways of acting the next time i see him. How will I ever know if i don't. Right?

Talk to him. Be firm. If it turns out he's just crushing on you, tell him you'll let him see you well enough he won't need to take secret photos.

If he asks for a lock of your hair... RUN!

RunintheCity saidTalk to him. Be firm. If it turns out he's just crushing on you, tell him you'll let him see you well enough he won't need to take secret photos.

You are so right about it, i guess I just got caried away, cause taking photos of someone in secrecy, is a bit strange. Thank a lot for your good advice. I really needed it

Damn.

Reading some responses from some people to your topic.. lighten up a little guys? It's not made up, he's not 20 graduating high school, it's not borderline perverted.

it's cute.

I'm really in the same position as you out-wise, and meeting people at the gym is always really tricky.

I feel that your next move can either make or break what could happen.

Look at it this way:

-Ask him to coffee/workout/activity-
He goes, it could be really awesome and you'd find someone.
-or-
He doesn't go, and you guys continue to do what you do, knowing that he's not serious.

If it's making you so confused, don't let it! It's okay to have a little fun, I encourage you to ask him!

Perhaps I'm running into a generational divide that I find it bizarre and creepy that someone is secretly taking photos of someone at a gym.

It really could be a generational divide. With all the online social networking with people and pictures, I've grown numb to them.

What can someone do with a picture of you working out? In my eyes, nothing. It may be on the internet but really when you think about how many other pictures of people there are on the internet... it's just a number. People would rather look at porn.

I respect your privacy though.

rexinfx saidDamn.

Reading some responses from some people to your topic.. lighten up a little guys? It's not made up, he's not 20 graduating high school, it's not borderline perverted.

it's cute.

You see that was exactly what i was thinking, i didn't find it weird to begin with, i just thought he did it cause he was into me, and maybe to afraid to show. Besides that it's not like we're totally unaqainted, my friend knows him, and he introduced himself before, that little event happened.
Also he seemed rather confused maybe even regretful afterwards... (I completely felt like telling him that it's allright, and that he shouldn't fell ashamed, but I just couldn't)

Perhaps i should just go with my own common sense, get to know him, and take it from there

Offer to text him a pic of the rest of you. See what he says.

Perhaps I just feel people should be 1-more respectful of others and 2-less cowardly.

RunintheCity saidPerhaps I just feel people should be 1-more respectful of others and 2-less cowardly.

I totally get your point that honesty and respectfullnes are thing that go hand in hand, and are important. And I agree that people should act respectfully and honestly.

But I also see how a guy can feel that it is such a big thing to be honest about it, after all i've been there myself, you have probably aswell. Coming out to myself at age 19 (last summer), how can I assume that he has at age 18. Some people first come out age 40 or even later?
The thing is I can't. I hope he has come out to himself if it is, but I can never assume that all people are out for themselves or the world, as long as there is so much homophobia that keeps people closeted for so long.

The picture taking is called sous-veillance. It's like surveillance (big brother), but instead, it takes place from below (ie independent people watching you). Most younger people are used to it because they've dealt with similar things for so long, have had bank cameras everywhere... So its not as big a thing.

Its the kinda shit that started the Rodney King riots and is definitely more prevalent today.

As far as the guy, you just need ask him to hang out or varieties of it.

I too enjoyed being a young 20 year old at the gym where I worked out. It sure beats being an old 22 year old...

Have sex with him many times.

Well I wish you love and luck first of all.

I would have asked him in a nice way why he was taking your picture and ask him if you can take his picture and just see the reaction?

TurkishDelight saidWell I wish you love and luck first of all.

I would have asked him in a nice way why he was taking your picture and ask him if you can take his picture and just see the reaction?

OMG that's exactly what i should have said, but i couldn't think clearly because of the surprise factor, and my emotions.

Perhaps you/anybody have some advice for something to say the next time i see him?

Thanks alot for all the responses peps

VIVIV said[quote][cite]TurkishDelight said[/cite]Well I wish you love and luck first of all.

I would have asked him in a nice way why he was taking your picture and ask him if you can take his picture and just see the reaction?

OMG that's exactly what i should have said, but i couldn't think clearly because of the surprise factor, and my emotions.

Perhaps you/anybody have some advice for something to say the next time i see him?

Thanks alot for all the responses peps[/quote]


When you see him again ask him why he took your picture and that will open up a conversation or a can of worm's either way you will know what he wants..

Use a tight pink short short and a high-pitch voice to let him know you're gay.

No I don't think it's a big thing that he took your picture. He's just REALLY REALLY into you. LOL. So take the advice. Ask him out for coffee or something. Then report back, understood?

Get cracking! LOL

Nothing like a boyfriend to help you both through the coming out part.

VIVIV, you're a great writer and you seem like a really intelligent guy! I know it can be confusing to decipher covert gay signals in a gym and then muster the courage to respond lol. I think we've all been there at some point..

My suggestion would be to simply ask him about his work-out or ask for some work-out advice. The coffee suggestion may work, but if hes REALLY closeted he may interpret that as a come on and might over react. Besides, When I was in High School, we never went around "meeting for coffee" lol.

I think itd be much safer to just say something like

"Hey, I know you're in here all the time and you probably know what you're doing better than I do! Can you give me some pointers on my bench press technique?"

Or if thats too much, just ask for a spot, and then take it from there.

Anyway, I hope that helps. And you have to let us know how things go....

Anyway, I hope that helps. And you have to let us know how things go....[/quote]

I Promise you I'll let you know all about it soon enough. Naming it something like "part two".

Now I just have to find out when he works out, from my friend.

Terrific advice by the way, and thanks for the compliment.
It's not often we Danes recieve compliments on our english skills Hehe

VIVIV saidAnd you have to let us know how things go....

I Promise you I'll let you know all about it soon enough. Naming it something like "part two".

Now I just have to find out when he works out, from my friend.

Terrific advice by the way, and thanks for the compliment.
It's not often we Danes recieve compliments on our english skills Hehe[/quote]

pass him a note:

Do you like me? Check one []yes []no

Talk to him: the sooner the better. PLEASE trust me on this one....I just went through pretty much what you are going through...

Oh Trocks... your spoken wisdom just made you sexier by so many notches!!!

Anyway, I hope that helps. And you have to let us know how things go....[/quote]

Well I've been hanging out after gym every day since that thursday 2 weeks ago, but it seems he trains at other times, since im first there at 17:00 or later.

Well yesterday, he was there, and I took the initiative to say hi. He was really polite and all, and really opened up. I asked him how to work my tri-ceps properly, and he gladly showed me.

However I also found out that he had a girlfriend, which is (how do I put it) not so much fun.

I still think he is gay, I can't imagine him to be anything else, but I don't know how things will turn out.

I guess I'll just keep in touch with him, and get a little closer if i can, and maybe he'll confess or something like that sometime.

Bake him some cookies, then club him over the head when he isn't looking and drag him back to your cave for some butt secks.

I have played this game many times at my gym, minus the camera phone, and trust me, he's def interested. And if he's young and sexy definitely go for it.

You're not really his friend, you only have mutual friends, so if you say something, you dont really lose anything, but you could gain an amazing fuck buddy/boyfriend.

So either way go for it; if it's a yes, you have some awesome times, if its a no, you have a few awkward gym encounters. Seems mad worth it to me