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I hope I'm not the only but guys I think are attractive intimidate me because I get scared that they're better looking than me and then I get all sad. I still get weirded out that my boyfriend is better looking than me and that just is not healthy. Anybody else feel like that? How the hell does someone get over it?



Also...is it that I'm hella ethnic looking and I live in a white society that celebrates white features so blah blah blah and I'm in an interracial relationship. I don't know.

I feel the same way. I look at pictures of me and think... God I look old!

But I'm not sure about the whole ethnic thing because 95% of the men I've dated are not white. So I've never understood what the color of skin has to do with anything. But I just so attracted to darker skin. My bf is Latino as has most of my other bf's.

Personally, I've found some of the world's great natural male beauties to be among the most approachable and genuine personalities around. They often get an undeserved bad rap.

Don't worry about the uniqueness of your particular "ethnic" look. You're really only competing with yourself.

Stay out of your own way and "don't block your blessings."

Probably what I'm going to say you might take as offensive and it isn't meant that way......

Part of it is maturity and a positive sense of who you are as an individual. Having a positive self image is important. You are a unique person that goes far beyond mere looks. If you don't recognize that about yourself, how will you be confident in your relationships?

I've never evaluated whether a man I might choose to date is either better or worse looking than I.

HK is right
Having a positive self-image is a great starting point
are there some really stunning men out there?
sure there are
But alot of the time their just as uptight as you are
I dated this really cute sexy guy for a while
and I came to find out he suffered from body dysmorphic syndrome
so you never know

Hotties intimidate the hell out of me too. I think its because I blush extremely easily and I feel like I never know what to say.

There is this one guy in particular, a friend of a friend, and every time I he looks at me it just takes me a second to recover.

I really should just grow a pair though.

KissingPro said
I propose that there be a "be nice to a hottie" day....where everyone is nice and rspectful to the very good looking guys

Hotties need this? Somehow I doubt that.

damirkale78 saidI still get weirded out that my boyfriend is better looking than me and that just is not healthy. Anybody else feel like that? How the hell does someone get over it?

How do you get over it? Start by realizing that looks are the most superficial thing about a person. There are many other qualities, like personality, intelligence, and character that count for a lot more than looks.

Then try to realize that you're not giving yourself enough credit if the only thing you judge yourself and others by is looks.

Well, to be shallow, you look like you have a great body, perfect abs and arms. But drop the sunglasses when you're having your picture taken. Maybe you're suffering from that body dismorphia thing.

damirkale78 said

Also...is it that I'm hella ethnic looking and I live in a white society that celebrates white features so blah blah blah and I'm in an interracial relationship. I don't know.

Oh please! Middle Eastern erotic looking features with a gorgeous skin tone! Yeh like thats not ever sort after. And couple that with a killer smile.

Quit your belly aching and buy some books on self esteem Start to love yourself and you'll break a million hearts

I agree with all of you; and I appreciate the honesty and insight. It is a maturity thing, and I guess I just have to wait it out and just grow out of it. I just need some priorities to completely take over I guess. whatever.

Physical looks are 1)relative and 2)unimportant. How many times have we met someone who we thought was "hot" and then when they opened their mouths, it all went away. And vice versa, they become gorgeous once they begin letting you in on their personality. It's not something I kill myself over, it's just an annoying part of me.

Interesting note: our self image is a reflection of how we were as children. For example, if we were overweight and awkward as children, we will see ourselves in adulthood as overweight and awkward.

Thanks for the insight.

That's why sometimes, I can't get it up even if I have to bottom... which I always have. x
http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/80179/

Global_Citizen said[quote][cite]damirkale78 said[/cite]I still get weirded out that my boyfriend is better looking than me and that just is not healthy. Anybody else feel like that? How the hell does someone get over it?

How do you get over it? Start by realizing that looks are the most superficial thing about a person. There are many other qualities, like personality, intelligence, and character that count for a lot more than looks.

Then try to realize that you're not giving yourself enough credit if the only thing you judge yourself and others by is looks.[/quote]

Global it is easy to throw out that looks are the most superficial thing. I think biology as well as society determines our physical attractions. I don't think looks are superficial. They are just one part of an overall package in which personality intelligence and character count equally.
What if you are intimidated that your boyfriend is more intelligent than you? would you toss the importance of intelligence to the side to quiet your insecurities.

XXOOXXOO
U-

mmm you need to get out of Modesto!! Your not to far from San Francisco.

I do know some very hot people that come from that little country place and don't even know it! It is pretty much conservative.

I was like you once shy, not to thrilled about being my race. Since I moved here all that has changed.

Well I really wasn't that shy lol. But Coming from the deep south I know what racism is all about.

damirkale78, OMG, I don't know why you are intimidated by other guys -- you're the intimidating one! You are totally HOT, and I'd never be able to get up the nerve to talk to you at a club.

I'm growing (slowly) out of my shyness and lack of confidence since I came out. My boyfriend and some of the other guys have talked me into competing for Seattle's oldest and most respected gay title, "Sir Guy" (Knights of Malta). I'll be strutting my stuff in front of a bunch of men (most of whom will be strangers), and judges. If that doesn't burn the shyness out of me, I don't know what will.

I'm doing things to get me noticed in the gay community here, from costuming at the clubs to competing for titles, charity work, karaoke, etc. Kale, maybe that's what you need to do to build your self confidence.

damirkale78 saidI hope I'm not the only but guys I think are attractive intimidate me because I get scared that they're better looking than me and then I get all sad. I still get weirded out that my boyfriend is better looking than me and that just is not healthy. Anybody else feel like that? How the hell does someone get over it?



Also...is it that I'm hella ethnic looking and I live in a white society that celebrates white features so blah blah blah and I'm in an interracial relationship. I don't know.

The root of all gay drama. Jealosy.

damirkale78 saidI agree with all of you; and I appreciate the honesty and insight. It is a maturity thing, and I guess I just have to wait it out and just grow out of it. I just need some priorities to completely take over I guess. whatever.

Physical looks are 1)relative and 2)unimportant. How many times have we met someone who we thought was "hot" and then when they opened their mouths, it all went away. And vice versa, they become gorgeous once they begin letting you in on their personality. It's not something I kill myself over, it's just an annoying part of me.

Interesting note: our self image is a reflection of how we were as children. For example, if we were overweight and awkward as children, we will see ourselves in adulthood as overweight and awkward.

Thanks for the insight.

Physical looks are ARE important....anybody who says otherwise is lying.

sometimes when I see a too PERFECT guy I try to look for his disadvantage ... IDK why but it makes you feel bad when you find a hot guy like this
and it's not just jealousy , maybe cuz you can't get him ..or something like this ..

But I prefer normal guys .. not too beautiful or too hot .. just normal and cute..

KissingPro said:
Physical looks are ARE important....anybody who says otherwise is lying.

Very true, but fortunately we differ on who we consider attractive. I have always found Keanu Reeves sexy but my partner thinks I am crazy. My partner always liked Christopher Reeves, but he never did anything for me.

I was thinking about this topic, and at the end of the day attractiveness is not that important. But keep in mind, we are all in a gay fitness community posting picture of ourselves shirtless and hotlisting people. As much as we'd like physical beauty to not be so important, we can't help but actually hold high value to it.

What I like is that younger guys are posting that they feel the same way and the older gentlemen are beyond that and there is a much greater emphasis on personality and individuality while the men in between are just that, in between. I like the generational differences. It makes me feel like a normal peson and not like some neurotic individual with body dysmorphia disorder but rather at a specific period during my maturity development.

Stop going to the clubs and find a real man.
The good looking, loving, wonderful men are in real life. Peace.