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Do you have fat friends? Do you avoid fat people? Do you judge them?
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 09, 2008 11:48 PM GMT Quote Sometimes I look around the bus or subway and everyone is SO overweight. What's going on?

lilTanker Posts: 583	May 09, 2008 11:53 PM GMT Quote its terrifying isn't it. My family is over weight, some of my friends are on the larger side. I wouldn't say I have fat friends, I do have mates who consider them selfs bears/cubs (to put a label of there choosing on it) but I love them all the same. At the end of the day, I accept there choices in life, what they choose, I've talked to them about there weight and they have assured me there happy just the way they are so I wont hold it against them! On the other hand, I don't know anyone I'd call fat, I see some people in shopping centers laboring under there own weight, struggling just to do stuff, thats terrifying!
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 09, 2008 11:59 PM GMT Quote Oh! I love the Aussie Simplified English. Why have "there," "their," and "they're," when you can just use "there" for everything! Brillant! They may be hanging upside down, but they are not a stupid bunch! Does this mean I don't get my kit pic? ... Oh and yes I do judge and avoid lard asses every opportunity I get.
RBY71 Posts: 1931	May 10, 2008 12:02 AM GMT Quote Wow, if only Chucky was here.........
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 12:03 AM GMT Quote lilTanker saidits terrifying isn't it. My family is over weight, some of my friends are on the larger side. I wouldn't say I have fat friends, I do have mates who consider them selfs bears/cubs (to put a label of there choosing on it) but I love them all the same. At the end of the day, I accept there choices in life, what they choose, I've talked to them about there weight and they have assured me there happy just the way they are so I wont hold it against them! On the other hand, I don't know anyone I'd call fat, I see some people in shopping centers laboring under there own weight, struggling just to do stuff, thats terrifying! that was a very thoughtful and intelligent post my friend....right on topic without silly useless banter about spelling.
mickeytopogig... Posts: 875	May 10, 2008 12:13 AM GMT Quote Sumbuddy's showing there luv for Aussies. And simplifide inglish. But, don't forget the grate US-Canada wars over farts...these ishyoos can get out of hand quickly.
mickeytopogig... Posts: 875	May 10, 2008 12:27 AM GMT Quote But on topic: I have a few chubby friends. I'm a little prejudiced, though, I must admit. I don't talk about my weight issues to them, and I don't pester them about their weight (I meant to say "thare wate", Cas...oops). If the topic starts wending that direction, I won't put up with any B.S., as in, "Oh, you're so lucky you're not fat like me!" (Caslon translation: "Oh, your so lucky your not fat like me!") Which I can't bear to hear. As if my workouts have to do with luck.
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 10, 2008 12:31 AM GMT Quote RBY71 saidWow, if only Chucky was here......... ...were here subjunctive you are talking about an imaginary situation hahahaha...stop me before I correct again! hahahaha
Buckwheet Posts: 944	May 10, 2008 12:43 AM GMT Quote caslon said ...were here subjunctive you are talking about an imaginary situation hahahaha...stop me before I correct again! hahahaha Irregardless, kilts are dangerous. The progression naturally leads to bagpipes, then haggis... Do you see the slippery slope?
commodoreboi Posts: 182	May 10, 2008 12:49 AM GMT Quote well in not thin,im not fat im in the middle so do i count
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 10, 2008 12:52 AM GMT Quote Buckwheet said[quote][cite]caslon said[/cite] ...were here subjunctive you are talking about an imaginary situation hahahaha...stop me before I correct again! hahahaha Irregardless, kilts are dangerous. The progression naturally leads to bagpipes, then haggis... Do you see the slippery slope? (I will overlook "irregardless" as I think you are just baiting me. ...tsk!) Maybe I can see the slippery slope if he lifts that kilt.
SFTraveler Posts: 59	May 10, 2008 12:58 AM GMT Quote In the American culture, it's impossible not to have overweight friends. Their weight doesn't bother me at all; it's what is inside that matters to me. If they want help losing weight, I'm glad to offer advice or direct them to good resources. If they are comfortable with their weight, that's fine with me. I worry only if I see that their weight is damaging their health.
RBY71 Posts: 1931	May 10, 2008 12:59 AM GMT Quote RBY71 saidWow, if only Chucky was here......... caslon said...were here subjunctive you are talking about an imaginary situation hahahaha...stop me before I correct again! hahahaha I'm not entirely sure you all aren't figments of my imagination anyway.
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 1:02 AM GMT Quote commodoreboi saidwell in not thin,im not fat im in the middle so do i count evrybody counts......that's what I heard.
Jockbod48 Posts: 1168	May 10, 2008 1:04 AM GMT Quote Well, I have to admit I'm impatient with some of the fat people I've known or seen - especially when they take so much time telling me all about how they're going to lose the weight - the new trainer, the new diet, ad nauseam. When I see them again they're often fatter than ever. The often pay lip service to the problem but will not get going with a weight loss program and stick with it. Sorry to rant - just so tired of their taking my time - getting my support and then - nothing.
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 1:05 AM GMT Quote I'm NOT(I left this out in the original reply ) judgemental towards the overweight people I know. I assume the know the error in their ways and have comes to terms with that. In fact, I know some people proud to be overweight; though they know it's also unhealthy. Then there are those whom are in a constant cycle of gaining and losing and all the while feeling guilty for wanting sweets, but still going for another fad diet. I feel sorry for them, since I think it's the media//manipulative commercials that have got them all wound up like that. I have plenty of overweight friends. Some whom have become overweight since high school, others always in between, and those whom have gone from overweight to slender and sexy. They're some of my most favorite people. They've got a good feel for life and are fun to be around; even though they sometimes have to deal with a**holes whom make small minded rude remarks because of their own insecurities. It's just another card in the deck: like race, sexuality, religion, and whatever else fits the bill. I won't call someone on something they may be able to control, but lack the will power and/or ability to do so. Hell, my roommate/ex partner, even went through and "overweight" phase, but I loved the guy so much that I never noticed until I look back some pictures from 2 years before. Anywhichway, no I don't judge people for being fat. It does't affect me, so it's irrelevant. I give them advice when they start to go into depression cycles concerning fad diets and looking like some perfect physical beauty achitype that is both rare and nearly impossible expectation for any person to expect to acheive for themselves by will power alone.
muttskins Posts: 820	May 10, 2008 1:08 AM GMT Quote There were two fat guys together at the gym today using the pec deck / concentration curl machine and they spent more time talking rather than doing anything on it. I managed to do 3 sets of 3 different excercises each until I finally got to use it! Actually 4 exercises, coz while I did the 3rd exercise they got off, and a normal well built guy went on it!
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 1:08 AM GMT Quote I just mentioned the same thing to a friend. Fit people are a minority. I don't think many people have the discipline for fitness. I have heavy friends and they usually complain about their weight and make fun of my commitment to being fit. I am glad about my decision and its funny how much all the fit guys on this site motivate me. My mom just turned 60 and she gets up at 4:30 am to go to the gym. Discipline discipline discipline!
jprichva Posts: 3148	May 10, 2008 1:33 AM GMT Quote You know, this is one of the reasons I broke up with the last boyfriend (albeit a minor reason). He really loathed fat people. I have some very fit friends and some heavy ones, and many in-between. But what unites them as (to me) interesting people has nothing to do with their waistlines. These are people who can do things, even if they don't go to a gym. They have accomplished much in the arts, in journalism, in business, and since I have no plans whatever to fuck any of 'em, I really don't even see their weight. And I mean that. I don't even SEE it, because that's not what draws me to them. He was derisive of them; he avoided their company, and their LEFT PINKIES were worth ten of him (and probably weighed more too). This subject pisses me off big time. I choose to be fit, because I like the way I look. THAT IS NOT EVERYONE'S CHOICE. Those who disagree me can go look up my ex-bf and hang out with him in his bitter misery. Have a sparkling water for me, I won't be there.
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 1:43 AM GMT Quote I don't judge "fat" people simply because I don't know the reason(s) why they are fat. My two dearest friends in the world are both over 300lbs a piece. One only eats about 1800 calories a day, but has many health related problems that cause her to keep her weight as well has zap her energy so that she doesn't feel like or can't do much exercising. Someone could be over weight from just being lazy, but they could also have medical issues, emotional issues, etc. Never judge a man till you've walked in his shoes. I spent my entire life thinking I looked like "Shrek" thanks to an emotionally abusive dad and now at age 36 I am just getting over it. Practice unconditional love, Den
Buckwheet Posts: 944	May 10, 2008 2:05 AM GMT Quote My brother and parents are overweight, but as far as friends go.. to be honest I have two 'real' friends. Known them since childhood (last week ), they went through the Army and are now coppers in surrounding counties. They're both scrawny, like jack rabbits. I don't deal with people much, so no basis for avoiding them. I avoid people all together. People talk to much, I like to laugh, talking; not so much. Judge 'em? If they are morbidly obese and waddling towards McDonalds, damn right I do. See the same person trying to change: there is no limit to the amount of respect I have for them; those whom have the will to change. I used to be overweight, but I got my ass in gear and changed. People thought I had cancer. Used bowflex, 32oz water bottle and lots of saying No thanks. Lost like 70lbs in 6 weeks.
DiverScience Posts: 809	May 10, 2008 2:26 AM GMT Quote Buckwheet said Irregardless, kilts are dangerous. The progression naturally leads to bagpipes, then haggis... Do you see the slippery slope? But... I look good in a kilt. And I love fresh haggis!
SurrealLife Posts: 3478	May 10, 2008 2:27 AM GMT Quote One of my best friends at work is morbidly obese. Must be close to 400 lbs.. Her health suffers because of it but there is nothing you can do.
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 10, 2008 2:33 AM GMT Quote DiverScience said[quote][cite]Buckwheet said[/cite] Irregardless, kilts are dangerous. The progression naturally leads to bagpipes, then haggis... Do you see the slippery slope? But... I look good in a kilt. And I love fresh haggis![/quote] You look good in a kilt? ...naaaah! ...You have to show us
lilTanker Posts: 583	May 10, 2008 3:34 AM GMT Quote caslon saidOh! I love the Aussie Simplified English. Why have "there," "their," and "they're," when you can just use "there" for everything! Brillant! They may be hanging upside down, but they are not a stupid bunch! Does this mean I don't get my kit pic? ... Oh and yes I do judge and avoid lard asses every opportunity I get. I got it all wrong, whoo is me, for shame on I, I should go chuck my self off a bridge for I can not keep up with all those who spell far greater then I... My life is over, it has run its course. Blow me sweet heart! hmmm, that doesn't have the same sort of effect in a gay forum! goes and reads the chapters on anal retentive spelling
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 10, 2008 3:42 AM GMT Quote lilTanker said[quote][cite]caslon said[/cite]Oh! I love the Aussie Simplified English. Why have "there," "their," and "they're," when you can just use "there" for everything! Brillant! They may be hanging upside down, but they are not a stupid bunch! Does this mean I don't get my kit pic? ... Oh and yes I do judge and avoid lard asses every opportunity I get. I got it all wrong, whoo is me, for shame on I, I should go chuck my self off a bridge for I can not keep up with all those who spell far greater then I... My life is over, it has run its course. Blow me sweet heart! hmmm, that doesn't have the same sort of effect in a gay forum! goes and reads the chapters on anal retentive spelling Oh if I had known you were so sensitive, I never would have said anything. I am so sorry. Can I have my kit pic now?
CincyBOJ Posts: 65	May 10, 2008 3:53 AM GMT Quote It's quite ironic that this thread has an ad banner about GayChubbyDating as I read it. LOL. Anyone else see that?
halltd Posts: 285	May 10, 2008 3:54 AM GMT Quote I can tell you that the majority of gay guys judge fat or just overweight people all the time. Well, not even just gay guys - everyone does. It's amazing to me how unfriendly and rude people will be to people who aren't at the "ideal" weight - even to their face. I've struggled with my weight for my entire life. I'm not really into sports - golf is really the only "sport" I play. My jobs have all revolved around sitting at a desk for a good portion of the day. So, my activity level has never really been all that high. I never fully understood proper nutrition either, so that was a big contributor. But, even going to the gym twice a day, working with a trainer three days a week, and eating 2100 GOOD calories a day, I can only manage to lose 2 pounds a week. I've eliminated chemicals, high fructose corn syrup, fried foods, etc... from my diet. I eat every three hours, etc... So, for some of us, it's VERY hard to lose weight. I can tell you from personal experience, though, that it's very hard to meet gay guys that will talk to you if you weigh more than a super model. I don't consider myself morbidly obese by any means, but people still openly mock me all the time. It really sucks actually. On the flip side, I know the friends I have are REAL friends. They love me for me. They don't love me because I look like a model. So, I consider myself lucky for that. When I get to my ideal weight in several months, I'm sure more people will talk to me, want to hang out, etc... But, I'm also sure that lots of these people won't really be true friends. So, it's really a catch 22.
Shyguysport Posts: 28	May 10, 2008 4:04 AM GMT Quote Halltd You mentioned u could only drop 2 pounds in one week! That is great for a week. I am not a wiz at math, but I think that would work out to 100 pounds over a year. I think you should be proud of yourself. Also, losing the weight any faster would not be healthy. Our culture in general does not lend itself to being fit. We eat too much crap, eat too much in general and do not exercise enough. Our obesity and rates of diateties are the highest in the world. One reason our health care costs are so high. Okay, I am climbing off my soap box.
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 10, 2008 4:06 AM GMT Quote Shyguysport saidHalltd You mentioned u could only drop 2 pounds in one week! That is great for a week. I am not a wiz at math, but I think that would work out to 100 pounds over a year. I think you should be proud of yourself. Also, losing the weight any faster would not be healthy. Our culture in general does not lend itself to being fit. We eat too much crap, eat too much in general and do not exercise enough. Our obesity and rates of diateties are the highest in the world. One reason our health care costs are so high. Okay, I am climbing off my soap box. OMG! ....Are you peeing on the beach??? ....
halltd Posts: 285	May 10, 2008 4:11 AM GMT Quote Yeah, over the last three months, I've been averaging 1-2 pounds a week. Sometimes I stay the same, sometimes I lose 2, sometimes I lose 1, etc... Thankfully I've only gained 1/4 pound one week in the entire time. But, like I said, it's a TON of work. I run three miles in the morning before work, run three more miles at night, work with a trainer really HARD three times a week for an hour, do spin classes, etc... And, I'm very conscious of everything I eat. I am very proud of my progress. But, it's still really hard for me because I try meeting people even just for friends and maybe it's just South Florida, but guys just aren't interested. I know I'm a fun guy, a great friend, smart, etc... So, the only thing I can think of is because I weigh more than I should. So, I keep trekkin' along.
Gwgtrunks Posts: 337	May 10, 2008 4:19 AM GMT Quote They talk to me a lot about me eating all the time... I fire back at them about all the time I put into the gym, and how my body actually needs the food I take in. Then I remind them that if they were to put in the effort, they could drop the pounds. It usually keeps them quiet for a couple of weeks at least.
Lazz Posts: 215	May 10, 2008 4:33 AM GMT Quote My best friend is fat (not morbid)but I love her just the way she is. I haven't met anyone that is so good natured and genuinely friendly. I wouldn't trade her for the world. Good friends are hard to find. I never judge anyone and I could never understand why people should. I love to see ppl take care of their bodies but the only way someone's weight becomes an issue for me is when it starts to affect their health.
TD22 Posts: 838	May 10, 2008 5:07 AM GMT Quote Wait Fat on the Catwalk soon I guess? Do fat people shit bigger and do they fart louder I wonder?
eb925guy Posts: 771	May 10, 2008 5:19 AM GMT Quote Well, my friend and I were just talking about his partner and the weight gained. He's very sensitive about the weight gain but as my friend says, "until he decides to change it...there's nothing anyone can do". Amazing that people actually say things to him about how much weight he as gain, like he isn't aware of it and like it doesn't bother him a bit! I think that is just inconsiderate and rude. I know I looked in the mirror one day and saw the rest of my family (4 brothers and a dad) that are all overweight. I chose to not go that route, but it's been work getting to my target weight. I have mixed emotions for overweight people, I feel for them because I know how hard it is when you're bombarded by the easy ways (that is fast food, snacks, sodas, etc that are shown us daily through advertisements). Then I get so worked up by those who use weight problems as their crouch for an easier life (disabled placards, disability, etc). In the end, I try not to judge, and I thank God that I have the genetics, will and the good fortune to be able to lose and maintain my weight even with a bit of effort!
Runninchlt Posts: 165	May 10, 2008 5:23 AM GMT Quote I try not to judge people who are overweight as I was once overweight myself. America's also the only country in our World where our poor are among our heaviest.
msw1 Posts: 215	May 10, 2008 5:43 AM GMT Quote At yoga the other day this VERY large vegetarian lady was ranting about people who eat meat and how bad cows are for the environment. I thought how she (and all morbidly obese people) are right behind them....the amount of food they consume, the waste they produce, the gas they exhale and expell, the extra fuel needed to haul them around and take them off in planes...it all adds up. I try not to be judgemental. I guess I can be sometimes when I think of the waste, the excess, (of consumption to maintain the weight)....while much of the world starves. But people who allow themselves to become morbidly obese have free will and choice in what they put in their bodies and I cannot change that and wont lecture anyone about it. I have family members that are morbidly obese and I hear about their ailments all the time, it gets exhausting, for they will make no changes. So overall, I try o stay neutral and hope everyone finds happiness in their choices. But, I do try to avoid very overweight people...not people who are naturally large per say, but those who have a terrible, reckless diet and do nothing to better their health. I dont want to be around that energy.
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 5:52 AM GMT Quote Mikesw saidAt yoga the other day this VERY large vegetarian lady was ranting about people who eat meat and how bad cows are for the environment. I thought how she (and all morbidly obese people) are right behind them....the amount of food they consume, the waste they produce, the gas they exhale and expell, the extra fuel needed to haul them around and take them off in planes...it all adds up. I try not to be judgemental. I guess I can be sometimes when I think of the waste, the excess, (of consumption to maintain the weight)....while much of the world starves. But people who allow themselves to become morbidly obese have free will and choice in what they put in their bodies and I cannot change that and wont lecture anyone about it. I have family members that are morbidly obese and I hear about their ailments all the time, it gets exhausting, for they will make no changes. So overall, I try o stay neutral and hope everyone finds happiness in their choices. But, I do try to avoid very overweight people...not people who are naturally large per say, but those who have a terrible, reckless diet and do nothing to better their health. I dont want to be around that energy. God bless you for being honest about the way you feel.....acknowleding//////what the situation is a good first strp..............valuable lessons can be learned hwre
lilTanker Posts: 583	May 10, 2008 6:45 AM GMT Quote caslon said Oh if I had known you were so sensitive, I never would have said anything. I am so sorry. Can I have my kit pic now? HAHAHAH what a cute little cat Oh I'm far from sensitive about my spelling, I'm actually quite proud of it considering how bad I was when I was pulled out of school early. You can pick me up on anything, I don't mind it, but I'll always have a smart arse comment to give for it And no you can't have your photo yet, I haven't found them yet and there is a long list in front of you. I'll find it at soonish though or take a new one
Sporty_g Posts: 566	May 10, 2008 6:52 AM GMT Quote I have been that morbidly obese, over 400 lbs, person, just 4 years ago. It is NOT FUN and it is NOT easy and it HURTS physically, emotionally, socially, professionally, medically, financially, etc. Like most really big people, I never saw myself, in my mind, as large as I really was. I was in major denial and it "wsn't my issue, it was a societal issue" of "weight discrimination" and people just being cruel..... I feel a little differently now, but can still see the wonton cruelness in our society too. I had many friends when I was large, most of them were large too. Now, my friends are a serious mix of sizes, activity levels and fitness levels. I did loose some of the largest friends, but they left me, I never forced them out. I inspired a few of my other large friends to join me on my "healthy quest" and they did!.....even better and more intense than me! I also have friends that are big and others that are getting bigger. As a former fat man, I understand what it feels like to be fat and how the world treats and mis-treats you, based on a "stereotype". I have heard it all from the rude and judgemental to the well intentioned , but not helpfull"...just put the fork down".....along with the "concerned and the interventions", to the Dr laughing at the fact that they can't weigh me in his office since the scales stop at 350.... to my orhtopaedic surgeon telling that both knees need relaced, but he will only do one right now and chances are I won't live long enough to worry about the other knee....because of my weight and the effects on my health. Yes, I have fat friends. No I don't avoid them, but I have added new circles of friends too. And I do say things to them all...basically I invite them to the gym with me, or to a salad bar or something that is an activity not a food centered thing. I have changed and I constantly invite my friends to join me where I am, because they all know that I can't and won't go back to who I was 4 years ago. There is a strength, confidence and peace that comes with my new, smaller and healthy self... one that doesn't need to "convert the world" like a "Richard Simons" or a Jack LaLane, but also knows that it takes all types and that there is a strength in that variety and a constsnt lesson to be learned and reminded of...because I can still remeber what it is like to be fat....hell, I still have days where I "feel" fat, even though my clothes all fit the same and I get reassured that I am not fat, it is a memory that scares and haunts me from the past...... Just this last weekend, I went to Indianapolis to visit the man I have known the longest and is my best and closest friend. We went out to several places over the weekend. By sunday he was pissed at me because of how many times I was hit on by men and women....He is a rather large and heavy man, we used to eat together all the time....now, he eats and I exercise. I get "hit on" and get dates fairly easily, he doesn't. He was "jealous" and I was just having fun!
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 7:07 AM GMT Quote Sporty_g saidI have been that morbidly obese, over 400 lbs, person, just 4 years ago. It is NOT FUN and it is NOT easy and it HURTS physically, emotionally, socially, professionally, medically, financially, etc. Like most really big people, I never saw myself, in my mind, as large as I really was. I was in major denial and it "wsn't my issue, it was a societal issue" of "weight discrimination" and people just being cruel..... I feel a little differently now, but can still see the wonton cruelness in our society too. I had many friends when I was large, most of them were large too. Now, my friends are a serious mix of sizes, activity levels and fitness levels. I did loose some of the largest friends, but they left me, I never forced them out. I inspired a few of my other large friends to join me on my "healthy quest" and they did!.....even better and more intense than me! I also have friends that are big and others that are getting bigger. As a former fat man, I understand what it feels like to be fat and how the world treats and mis-treats you, based on a "stereotype". I have heard it all from the rude and judgemental to the well intentioned , but not helpfull"...just put the fork down".....along with the "concerned and the interventions", to the Dr laughing at the fact that they can't weigh me in his office since the scales stop at 350.... to my orhtopaedic surgeon telling that both knees need relaced, but he will only do one right now and chances are I won't live long enough to worry about the other knee....because of my weight and the effects on my health. Yes, I have fat friends. No I don't avoid them, but I have added new circles of friends too. And I do say things to them all...basically I invite them to the gym with me, or to a salad bar or something that is an activity not a food centered thing. I have changed and I constantly invite my friends to join me where I am, because they all know that I can't and won't go back to who I was 4 years ago. There is a strength, confidence and peace that comes with my new, smaller and healthy self... one that doesn't need to "convert the world" like a "Richard Simons" or a Jack LaLane, but also knows that it takes all types and that there is a strength in that variety and a constsnt lesson to be learned and reminded of...because I can still remeber what it is like to be fat....hell, I still have days where I "feel" fat, even though my clothes all fit the same and I get reassured that I am not fat, it is a memory that scares and haunts me from the past...... Just this last weekend, I went to Indianapolis to visit the man I have known the longest and is my best and closest friend. We went out to several places over the weekend. By sunday he was pissed at me because of how many times I was hit on by men and women....He is a rather large and heavy man, we used to eat together all the time....now, he eats and I exercise. I get "hit on" and get dates fairly easily, he doesn't. He was "jealous" and I was just having fun! WOW... I very much appreciate your pwerspecdtive and i "love" you for writing as you have. Thank you for a life lesson.....again WOW....even though this is typing and "not real" you really have mew thinking.....thank you for enlightenment and education.
SoccerGuy82 Posts: 1175	May 10, 2008 7:12 AM GMT Quote CincyBOJ saidIt's quite ironic that this thread has an ad banner about GayChubbyDating as I read it. LOL. Anyone else see that? Yes that is hilarious... lol
TD22 Posts: 838	May 10, 2008 7:15 AM GMT Quote "You are what you eat"
CallMeTori Posts: 13	May 10, 2008 7:37 AM GMT Quote As an overweight teenager, I know what havoc being heavy wreaks on one's confidence. But the fact is that I am not fat anymore. If someone isn't happy with their weight, they need to change it. It's no one else's responsibility, and there are so many people like myself that have done so already. I have no sympathy for those who aren't willing to change themselves, but for those who are trying: I commend their strength.
CSPYNY Posts: 105	May 10, 2008 7:41 AM GMT Quote I was overweight at one time, it effected me for sure. I don't care about weight really for friends. If they are cool then thats the main thing. The second is do they gay people ... which a few of my friends have.
muttskins Posts: 820	May 10, 2008 8:02 AM GMT Quote muttskins saidThere were two fat guys together at the gym today using the pec deck / concentration curl machine and they spent more time talking rather than doing anything on it. I managed to do 3 sets of 3 different excercises each until I finally got to use it! Actually 4 exercises, coz while I did the 3rd exercise they got off, and a normal well built guy went on it! I noticed I still didn't answer the question, guess I was letting some steam out... Anyway, I don't have anything against fat guys, and I do have a couple of fat friends. I try my best not to judge them, but honestly... I try to avoid being near them: e.g. sitting on the bus near a fat guy.
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 8:21 AM GMT Quote I don't mind, its your life, But Just dont act lathargic around me, I hate that attitude and please PLEASE. dont over eat snacks around me.
SurfnAsian Posts: 20	May 10, 2008 8:44 AM GMT Quote Being over weight, some blame it on heredity, thyroid, fast food yada yada yada.... but once being an over weight fellow, there really is no excuse, esp since I had all the above mentioned "symptoms/excuses" but yet I decided to make a change for the better, yes almost four years later, but 106 lbs lighter I'm so much healthier, faster, and have a better perception on life and myself. As for my fat friends, I'm the best poster child for them. Just love them and support them when they make their own decision to loose weight. Just because others don't look like the peeps on tv, mags, and billboards, doesn't mean that you should treat them any differently then how you wanna be treated...
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 9:26 AM GMT Quote SurfnAsian saidBeing over weight, some blame it on heredity, thyroid, fast food yada yada yada.... but once being an over weight fellow, there really is no excuse, esp since I had all the above mentioned "symptoms/excuses" but yet I decided to make a change for the better, yes almost four years later, but 106 lbs lighter I'm so much healthier, faster, and have a better perception on life and myself. As for my fat friends, I'm the best poster child for them. Just love them and support them when they make their own decision to loose weight. Just because others don't look like the peeps on tv, mags, and billboards, doesn't mean that you should treat them any differently then how you wanna be treated... WOW...I can't believe the stories...........WHAT AN EYE OPENER!.............YOU GUYS ASRE AMAZING
Sedative Posts: 4896	May 10, 2008 9:53 AM GMT Quote Yep. Male and female. Not obscenely fat though. And no I don't judge them. Who am I to judge when I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum? LOL
GQjock Posts: 2875	May 10, 2008 10:40 AM GMT Quote I have to admit that I am somewhat fat intolerant Living where I live (Miami) Being subjected to gay culture all the time and spending a good amt of time being active - going to the gym I really don't have any exposure that would change my bad mental image of people who are overweight But it is becoming more and more of a problem in the public in general ambulance companies have just had to change their stretchers to accommodate obese people because so many of their calls ... people couldn't fit on the stretchers that they had
AMT87 Posts: 431	May 10, 2008 2:24 PM GMT Quote On my last trip to the states an overweight (to put it mildly) Women behind me got her ass wedged in by the moving hand rails at the top of the escalator, and a guy had to grab her by the hand. It was hard not to laugh
Monir Posts: 89	May 10, 2008 2:31 PM GMT Quote I wouldn't know. I've never evaluated them that way. But I don't care. But who am I to judge them?
nysexy Posts: 711	May 10, 2008 2:51 PM GMT Quote One of my best friends is obese as is most of my family, and i must admit, i am guilty of looking at them and going "WTF!?!?!? I lost the excess weight i had (and mines was ALOT more than what they have) then why the hell cant they get off their asses and do something!!!". Its not that i think of them as lesser people, nor am i ashamed of being around them...its just that i look at them and all i think is " At this rate, one of my best friends will be in the hospital b4 the age of 35 or dead by the age of 40" Then i look at my parents and get terrified at their state of health and eatng habits and think of how many MI or Diebetic patients i see every day and the complications that arise for them and it scares the crap out of me. I talk to them, i encourage them, but its like talking to a wall. I begin to feel helpless then i lash out at them, only to feel guilty later on because these poor ppl did nothing wrong to me as far as they know. What saddens me and at times angers me is that they've read the books, they have the knowledge yet they choose not to do anything. I love them and i will stand by them, but I feel that its selfish of them in some part to make me watch helplessly as their health goes down the toilet. I hear the jokes and comments people make about them, i see how ppl treat them and i think "what will it take to make them realize". I know the comments hurt and are downright mean at times; i've been on the recieving end of MANY fat jokes and i know how they can sting; and i try to be as supportive as possible. I make every effort i can to get rid of any excuse they may have but in the end, there's only so much i can do. Sorry 4 the rant guys...it just came out. Hope it made sense.
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 3:11 PM GMT Quote I think a big problem nowadays is everyone generalizes overweight people as unhealthy and almost like a "don't let this happen to you" poster. That's not always teh case. My friend, Cari, is over the 300 mark and she walks daily, eats no red meat, takes in about 1800 calories a day, joins me on every 5K I do (but she walks it), and live a pretty healthy lifestyle. I myself weighed in the other day at 252lbs. Yeah, I have allot of muscle on me, but I also have a bodyfat % of about 22%-24% that I am currently working on lowering. At 252lbs am I unhealthy?....Hmmm, let's see...had a physical in Dec-2007 and was told by my doctor that I have the heart of a professional athlete...cholestoral is normal...blood pressure normal, etc. etc....so far this year I've ran 2-5K's and and I've ran a 15K....I average a 10.5 min/mile (not great; but good)...I can swim half a mile...I can bike over a distance of 50 miles...I do yoga 5 days a week...I can bench 305lbs...I can leg press 880lbs....I eat a vegetarian/vegan diet. Yep, I think I'm doin' pretty good at 252lbs. Granted, I will benefit from having a lower bodyfat%, but I wouldn't call me unhealthy at all! -Den
bigguysf Posts: 201	May 10, 2008 3:35 PM GMT Quote I have nothing against people who are overweight. That is their choice in many cases. I admit that I "don't get" the guys I have seen come to the gym the past few years and get bigger and bigger each year (and I don't mean their chest or biceps). I've always wondered what the thought process was when someone becomes okay with the fact that they have to lift their stomach to wash under the folds of skin around their waist, or even reach their penis!!!
AlterEgoX2 Posts: 1	May 10, 2008 3:52 PM GMT Quote I totally judge fat people. Not that I don't have friends that are bigger, and I totally love them. As a server in a restaurant, it grosses me out to see the eating habits of some obese people. Sometimes they can barely fit into a booth, and yet that doesnt bother them enough to not get the fried boneless wings, french onion soup, a huge specialty cheeseburger, and dessert. It also really angers me that these people allow their children to eat like them. Now they have doomed their kids to a life of obesity and ridicule. Now I do understand thats sometimes it goes beyond just not eating healthy and not working out. Some people have psychological issues and others have physical issues (ie thyroid), and I am not judging these people for that. But for the people who just do not care, I do judge them. If a person does not care enough to take care of their body, then I do not have to care about them either.
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 10, 2008 3:56 PM GMT Quote Dont buy the thyroid excuse...they can treat that with a little pill or some radiation. It aint incurable.
jmanorlando Posts: 26	May 10, 2008 4:05 PM GMT Quote Do I have fat friends? No, I have straight and gay friends that are active and in good shape. A study came out note that many people form friend cluster that support key areas of their lives. So healthy people tend to hang with healthy people it specifically note people good with money tend to have friends that are also good with money. and it goes on with drug use, sport, religion, etc... Do I avoid fat people? No, but I don't seek them out either - lol. (sorry) It seems that since I am in good shape and lost 20 - 25 lbs. they often approach me about losing weight or starting a program. I am always for that every step towards self improvement, pays dividends every day thereafter. So go for it (I say.) Do I judge them? Yes, I do but not in the way you may think at first. I wonder why don't they want a better life. If they knew they could get to a goal in 2 - 3 years of small and ongoing changes in there life, why don't they do it. I judge harsher when I hear complaining. "We have to walk all the way over there" or any I don't want to statements. There are always reason not to start something but I choose to hang out with people who are always in the process of starting new things and challenging themselves on many levels of life.
TD22 Posts: 838	May 10, 2008 4:07 PM GMT Quote caslon saidDont buy the thyroid excuse...they can treat that with a little pill or some radiation. It aint incurable. Yeh Caslon thats a good excuse heard it before! And I don't buy poor people they don't have money either! Here in Turkey in the east there are many poor kid's and big families they are not Fat as they eat what grows in the gardens and they eat the chickens that they rear and they don't sit on there arses and watch TV all day with a plate of Doritos on there Laps!!!!!!
lissenup Posts: 520	May 10, 2008 4:30 PM GMT Quote Don't beamake the mistake of assuming that skinny or fit-looking people are healthy. Just the other day, I was thinking of someone I know who has a beautiful body and is a really sweet guy. However, he parties a lot, smokes pot, smokes cigarettes, and eats very poorly. He looks about 10 years older than he really is and I was shocked when I found out how young he is! A friend once dated a guy with a great body who would do drugs to get "cut" when he felt fat. He broke up with him when he found this out. I went to the clubs a lot when I first moved to New York but got tired of seeing all of these really hot muscle guys trying to buy coke outside the club, drinking way too much, smoking, and having unprotected sex. I had to start getting away from it all. So, which is worse - being overweight or looking hot but being really unhealthy?
jprichva Posts: 3148	May 10, 2008 4:38 PM GMT Quote I can't believe all the judgementalism on this topic. What is this, like a hobby? Don't you have more interesting things to think about than whether people you meet are too fat? Geez.
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 7:21 PM GMT Quote jprichva saidI can't believe all the judgementalism on this topic. What is this, like a hobby? Don't you have more interesting things to think about than whether people you meet are too fat? Geez. Well, I started this topic because when I look around there are so many overweight people....kids too. And I started to think "why can't people just control what they eat and get off their asses and exercise"?.....and I had no sympathy.....but then I wanted to hear how other guys here feel about it because I wanted to understand the situation better and not be left with a negative feeling. This topic speaks to a broader issue....that is...people are always boasting about how they "don't judge". But when do you "blame" people for the consequences of their own behavior? Do you, on some level, ostricize them? Smokers? Drug abuse? People who eat too much heart clogging fast foods? Bad/drunk drivers? ...people who have HIV? People don't always make good choices. It's part of being human. What's the balance between compassion/helping someone and criticism/rejection?
Sebastien Posts: 42	May 10, 2008 7:33 PM GMT Quote It sorta makes sense to me to wonder...i have a few friends that are not at the top when it comes to fitness and weight, but that doesn't directly affect me or anyone else but themselves as a matter of fact. i'll be the 1st one to support them if they wanna change and get in shape though! but they are quite aware and would be willing to change, but it's hard (really now?) and people looking down on them makes it harder...i don't judge them, i try sometimes to tell them they should do something about it but it doesn't go further than a casual piece of advice to a friend!
alexander7 Posts: 439	May 10, 2008 7:37 PM GMT Quote I go to a couple of nude beaches close to where I live. There are people there of every size and shape. Some folks, especially the older ones, have rolls of fat. I say, "good on em". They are not ashamed of their bodies at all and consequently it is one of the most healthy places for human interaction I have ever been. Now, on the other hand, it is important to have cues in our society to lead people to a more healthy lifestyle choice. After all, when was the last time you saw someone who was way overweight and in their 80's. However, by cues, I do not mean insulting remarks that are meant to degrade. That kind of interaction with fat people can only make them have more low self-esteem which only "feeds" their problem.
BostonVball Posts: 284	May 10, 2008 7:52 PM GMT Quote no, yes, and...yes.
Luckydog76 Posts: 766	May 10, 2008 7:53 PM GMT Quote Jockbod48 saidWell, I have to admit I'm impatient with some of the fat people I've known or seen - especially when they take so much time telling me all about how they're going to lose the weight - the new trainer, the new diet, ad nauseam. When I see them again they're often fatter than ever. The often pay lip service to the problem but will not get going with a weight loss program and stick with it. Sorry to rant - just so tired of their taking my time - getting my support and then - nothing. Totally agree, JB. My sympathy level is almost non-existant now. Been there, done that...way too many times. Actions always speak louder than words.
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 8:03 PM GMT Quote Being a big guy myself, 90% of my friends are ht/wt proportinate or better. I'm like lilTanker (hot btw), I come from a big family and I'm actually the smallest/thinest. When I hug my sister, I can barely touch my fingers together behind her back, same with mom. But they are family and I love them the same. My big friends I'm okay with. A problem I notice, is that some people (maybe allot) on here are superficial. because I don't have that "jock" body...yet, I'm usually ignored in the chat room and private/email messages. Not just here, but other places/websites as well. Its not like I'm asking them out, but I never get a reply to messages I've sent asking them about a workout, supplements, and such like that. I'm starting week 3 on my diet/workout routine and so far, I've lost about 20 pounds and 3 inches off my waist. Its not easy, but I'm doing it. Just wish I had a local gym workout buddy to help me along (make sure I'm doing the exercises right, motivate and challenge me). All in all, I don't have a problem with big people, I know what its like to be ignored/invisible to good looking guys. But as far as a relationship goes, I'd prefer someone physically fit so that I don't go back to being what I was.
smalltownboy Posts: 224	May 10, 2008 8:29 PM GMT Quote I'd say for the most part my inner-circle of friends are fit and athletic....however I do have some buddies who are overweight...most of them look to me as sort of a "Once upon a time I was a fat boy too" role model...I work with them as Clients mostly....I tell them, "If I can do it, you can too".
redheadguy Posts: 1929	May 10, 2008 8:35 PM GMT Quote Of course I judge them. They are fat fuckers who can't be arsed to get off their lazy big bottoms and do some exercise. There again, I judge people who can't spell, who are too stupid to understand the basics of English grammar and also those who are over 18 and think they are cool when wearing baseball caps. But that's just me, no offence.
jprichva Posts: 3148	May 10, 2008 8:46 PM GMT Quote Okay, so you meet a former fatty. You don't know his history, of course, so he's deemed "worthy" of being a friend, because after all, he's slim now. There's lots of self-described "formers" on this site. But-- Inside they are the same person they were---same intellect, same morals, same fascinations, only now they've decided to do something about the weight. Yet they know that, for all the friendship you would now offer, you would not have offered it earlier. All that's changed is the size and number of their adipose cells. Why the fuck should they want to know YOU?
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 10, 2008 8:57 PM GMT Quote jprichva saidBut-- Inside they are the same person they were---same intellect, same morals, same fascinations... Is this a true statement or a faulty assumption? Could they not actually be quite changed people? Might they not have had to reorder their values and change their habits, resulting in a new life style, outlook, mood, and sociability, making them more pleasant and interesting people to be around?
JohnDallas Posts: 54	May 10, 2008 9:00 PM GMT Quote It depends. I try not to judge them unless they are excessively overweight. If they are excessively over weight sometimes I will look at them and ask myself "How can someone let themselves get to that point?. I don't really base friendships on weight but thinking about it I don't have any fat friends. The one thing that does piss me off are co-workers or people in general that make fun of the way I eat and the amount of time and effort I put into exercise. Those are normally the same people are eating McDonald's and drinking slim fast and not going to the gym and calling that a diet. Then they look at you like you have to heads if you try and help them in there choices and weight goals.
sdn8 Posts: 355	May 10, 2008 9:01 PM GMT Quote Another former fatty. I used to weigh over 400 pounds. And yes there were the "excuses" religious, closet case, emotional, addiction to food. But it still came down to being a lazy fat fuck. However, I don't hate fat people, I feel sorry for them. I know what they are going through. But at the same time I know what they're doing to get and be that big. And for that I hate them. I hate them, because I hated myself for being fat. (Don't give me the shit about thyroid, etc. they are the exceptions to the rule) I do not have any overweight friends. I like to be surrounded by motivators and people who can share my lifestyle and be active. I do like to motivate and help others that are overweight. I know how hard it is, the dedication it takes to stick with eating healthy and working out. They are not my friends though, I don't like the temptations they create. And refuse to ever get like that again. End rant.
jprichva Posts: 3148	May 10, 2008 9:02 PM GMT Quote caslon said Is this a true statement or a faulty assumption? Could they not actually be quite changed people? Might they not have had to reorder their values and change their habits, resulting in a new life style, outlook, mood, and sociability, making them more pleasant and interesting people to be around? I don't disagree with you, Caslon. Note I said "morals, intellect, fascinations". I didn't say habits or goals, because clearly those WOULD have changed. As to disposition, well, I saw when my son and daughter were born that disposition seems to be a genetic trait, at least largely. My son, a sunny and cheerful baby, is a sunny and cheerful adult. My daughter was a handful from infancy, a restless mind and an active body and spirit. But I don't form friendships over people's goals. I form them over their character and their minds.
redheadguy Posts: 1929	May 10, 2008 9:03 PM GMT Quote 400lbs !? ! Wow. That's like 2 and a half of me.
ASH557 Posts: 49	May 10, 2008 9:06 PM GMT Quote It's not necessarily the fat friends that can be a problem. It's the friends with the unhealthy habits that drag you down with them. You could, for example, of a circle of very attractive and thin male friends, who drink nearly every night of the week. Some can do that. I can't. After I made many changes in my life (including sobreity for the time being) I lost a good deal of "friends" in the process. And to repeat a point from someone who posted already: Discipline, discipline, discipline. I did what it took to make changes in my life. And if it meant trading in unhealthy habits and unhealthy friends, so be it. x
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 10, 2008 9:08 PM GMT Quote I may judge them initially internally, but of course, I dont say anything. It's their lives and bodies. Only if they are annoyingly cranky and bitchy, might I say something like "I thought you people were supposed to be jolly."
Pattison Posts: 1416	May 10, 2008 9:12 PM GMT Quote caslon saidOh! I love the Aussie Simplified English. Why have "there," "their," and "they're," when you can just use "there" for everything! Brillant! They may be hanging upside down, but they are not a stupid bunch! Does this mean I don't get my kit pic? ... Oh and yes I do judge and avoid lard asses every opportunity I get. Now, now Caslon. Even One makes the same mistake; But then I am also blond. But hay us Aussies/Australians know the difference between a ass, and a fanny. As everyone knows a fanny is a vagina, and not an ass. That why you have that wee bit of skin in the middle, and if it breaks you are in the shit. The most biggest ass's One ever seen was in the Midwest. Just one check was bigger than my two. Gives thought to crack kills.
ASH557 Posts: 49	May 10, 2008 9:13 PM GMT Quote x
tanktop Posts: 250	May 10, 2008 9:16 PM GMT Quote caslon saidOh! I love the Aussie Simplified English. Why have "there," "their," and "they're," when you can just use "there" for everything! Brillant! They may be hanging upside down, but they are not a stupid bunch! There there, there is no need to get on there case about there grammar over there, is there? There people too.
sdn8 Posts: 355	May 10, 2008 9:20 PM GMT Quote redheadguy said400lbs !? ! Wow. That's like 2 and a half of me. That's because you're a travel size human ;-)
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 10, 2008 9:21 PM GMT Quote Pattison said[quote][cite]caslon said[/cite]Oh! I love the Aussie Simplified English. Why have "there," "their," and "they're," when you can just use "there" for everything! Brillant! They may be hanging upside down, but they are not a stupid bunch! Does this mean I don't get my kit pic? ... Oh and yes I do judge and avoid lard asses every opportunity I get. Now, now Caslon. Even One makes the same mistake; But then I am also blond. But hay us Aussies/Australians know the difference between a ass, and a fanny. As everyone knows a fanny is a vagina, and not an ass. That why you have that wee bit of skin in the middle, and if it breaks you are in the shit. The most biggest ass's One ever seen was in the Midwest. Just one check was bigger than my two. Gives thought to crack kills. [/quote] Maybe that's cuz aussies lose their asses at gambling. 21% of the world's gambling machines are in Australia, yet it has a mere 0.003% of the world's population!
Caslon6000 Posts: 6871	May 10, 2008 9:24 PM GMT Quote tanktop saidThere people too. Reference, please. I need a scientific verification of this. You can't just go around making statements and expect people to accept them on your word only.
joeindallas Posts: 424	May 10, 2008 9:41 PM GMT Quote About a year and a half ago I was in WalMart and I was talking to a guy who worked out at the same 24 Hour Fitness. We were talking about how to cook lean Hamburger and Turkey, so it would not dry out. This womn came up to us and bitched at us that it was people like us that drove up the cost of food. I got on my high horse and told her that eating right did not cost much more than the way she was eating, when you added in cost of Health care. Her son was with her and he was Middle School and I swear to GOD he waddled. I went thru her shopping cart showing her the Fat levels of everything she was buying.She seemed PISSED. I do know what happened but two weeks ago I was buying some sneakers at Nike and this Kid came over to be and said THANK YOU. At first i did not know who it was, he had dropped 80 pounds, and then the Mom came over, and kissed me. I know i ws wrong to be so bitchy at Wal mart but the message got thru. Point if you were heavy or fat, and you know somebody who might want to lose it support them
Pattison Posts: 1416	May 10, 2008 9:43 PM GMT Quote Re Aussies and gambling. Did not know it was that high; wow. I myself never gamble! But this is becoming a red hot topic down here. They want to cut the numbers.
sdn8 Posts: 355	May 10, 2008 9:45 PM GMT Quote joeindallas saidAbout a year and a half ago I was in WalMart and I was talking to a guy who worked out at the same 24 Hour Fitness. We were talking about how to cook lean Hamburger and Turkey, so it would not dry out. This womn came up to us and bitched at us that it was people like us that drove up the cost of food. I got on my high horse and told her that eating right did not cost much more than the way she was eating, when you added in cost of Health care. Her son was with her and he was Middle School and I swear to GOD he waddled. I went thru her shopping cart showing her the Fat levels of everything she was buying.She seemed PISSED. I do know what happened but two weeks ago I was buying some sneakers at Nike and this Kid came over to be and said THANK YOU. At first i did not know who it was, he had dropped 80 pounds, and then the Mom came over, and kissed me. I know i ws wrong to be so bitchy at Wal mart but the message got thru. Point if you were heavy or fat, and you know somebody who might want to lose it support them cool story. you have some balls too.
fitone Posts: 42	May 10, 2008 9:54 PM GMT Quote don't really have any fat friends. i try not to be judgmental, but have to say i wonder when i see fat people why they're that way
Hidden/Deleted Member	May 10, 2008 10:28 PM GMT Quote BostonVball saidno, yes, and...yes. Alright, I was trying to be all serious with this topic, but that was just fucking funny!!!! -Den
orthojock Posts: 438	May 10, 2008 10:58 PM GMT Quote AlterEgoX2 saidI totally judge fat people. Not that I don't have friends that are bigger, and I totally love them. As a server in a restaurant, it grosses me out to see the eating habits of some obese people. Sometimes they can barely fit into a booth, and yet that doesnt bother them enough to not get the fried boneless wings, french onion soup, a huge specialty cheeseburger, and dessert. It also really angers me that these people allow their children to eat like them. Now they have doomed their kids to a life of obesity and ridicule. Now I do understand thats sometimes it goes beyond just not eating healthy and not working out. Some people have psychological issues and others have physical issues (ie thyroid), and I am not judging these people for that. But for the people who just do not care, I do judge them. If a person does not care enough to take care of their body, then I do not have to care about them either. I agree with the bolded statement!!!
orthojock Posts: 438	May 10, 2008 10:59 PM GMT Quote caslon saidDont buy the thyroid excuse...they can treat that with a little pill or some radiation. It aint incurable. ...yeah...assuming everyone has access to healthcare
orthojock Posts: 438	May 10, 2008 11:14 PM GMT Quote joeindallas saidAbout a year and a half ago I was in WalMart and I was talking to a guy who worked out at the same 24 Hour Fitness. We were talking about how to cook lean Hamburger and Turkey, so it would not dry out. This womn came up to us and bitched at us that it was people like us that drove up the cost of food. I got on my high horse and told her that eating right did not cost much more than the way she was eating, when you added in cost of Health care. Her son was with her and he was Middle School