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Apr 26, 2008 3:34 AM GMT
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Okay, so this is an NPR story so it didn't actually have that title. I just couldn't help myself--I'm a lover of bad puns. Gay bars adjusting to a new realityFortune Magazine's recent list of 10 businesses facing extinction includes record stores, crop dusting, telemarketing and . . . gay bars? That one caught our eye because gay business in general is booming. Stacey Vanek-Smith checked it out. |
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Apr 26, 2008 5:38 AM GMT
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It's definitely affecting London's bars. Earl's Court only has one gay bar and even places in Soho are struggling.
I think people tend to go out to bars on Saturday night or leave it to the big clubs. And the internet has changed everything.
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Apr 26, 2008 7:25 AM GMT
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If this is for real, and there are no guarantees, this is a good thing. I was always more comfortable in a mixed bar when I was younger because they were a lot more fun and a lot less meat-rack. Also, I agree with the gay bar owners at the end of the article. This movement may start in the larger cities but will not reach the rural areas and smaller towns until the need for a place to be gay away from harassing influences dissipates completely.
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Apr 26, 2008 11:08 AM GMT
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Those kids and their new fangled ideas....
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Apr 26, 2008 2:23 PM GMT
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I like the idea of having the diversity in choosing between many gay-friendly bars over going to a few (or one) "gay" bars instead. The point has already been made, but I think it’s a good sign that the gay bar scene is merging into just “a bar scene.” The internet definitely isn't a replacement though... it’s not nearly as fun to get dressed up and drink while sitting alone in front of a computer screen (kinda creepy...) as it is to go to a bar filled with men.  |
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Apr 26, 2008 2:33 PM GMT
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warrior_poet63 saidI like the idea of having the diversity in choosing between many gay-friendly bars over going to a few (or one) "gay" bars instead. The point has already been made, but I think it’s a good sign that the gay bar scene is merging into just “a bar scene.”
The internet definitely isn't a replacement though... it’s not nearly as fun to get dressed up and drink while sitting alone in front of a computer screen (kinda creepy...) as it is to go to a bar filled with men.
Why do you have to Drink (alcohol) to meet people or have a good time? |
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Apr 26, 2008 2:49 PM GMT
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It is time to face reality, more gay men are seeking other social activities outside gay bars and are assimilating into the general mainstream population. Many more gay men are also very athletic and health concious which results in less drinking and other late night activities. I rarely go out to the gay clubs because it is just the same old monotonous bullshit. Since I live a more active lifestyle, I am usually in bed by 11 PM, 12 midnight at the latest. The rapid rise of gay acceptance in the mainstream society is probably making gay bars and nightclubs obsolete. This is a good thing because it shows the rest of American society that there is more to gay life than the gay bars and drag shows. |
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Apr 26, 2008 2:55 PM GMT
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I haven't been to a gay bar in years and when I did go it was definately the type of crowd that I didn't want to hang-out with. Most of the guys were younger, drunker, high on who knows what or just looking for a Sugar Daddy. On the other end of the spectrum were the piano bars full of much older guys, drag queens and cigarette smoke. There really wasn't anything that fit my lifestyle - so I stopped going and most of my friends did as well.
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Apr 26, 2008 3:02 PM GMT
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I know that here in Baltimore, things have definitely changed over the years. There used to be one big dance club, and it was always packed every Thursday and Saturday nights..not so much anymore.
But also, the clubs and bars haven't changed at all in the 15 years I've been here...I mean, they haven't progressed at all over the years to better suit the crowd.
Example: the majority of the crowd that goes to the bars and clubs is 30-something and under, and doesn't really want to hear the same old gay anthems that were popular 10-15 years ago (hell, I don't want to hear the gay anthems that are popular NOW, lol), but that's what the bar owners here still choose to play.
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Apr 26, 2008 4:12 PM GMT
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You know what I don't think I've EVER gone to a gay bar (actually, now that I remember I did go once and I turned right around and left because the crowd was much older than me and I felt SO out of place). I would much rather go to a straight bar because gay bars sound to me like they're just a meat market full of pressure to act a certain way and the worst part is that they seem dull. Yet again, I don't like bars altogether I meam straight or gay they all seem dull and alcohol-centric. Although I do love to drink, at least in a club you have the option of dancing to burn all those calories off or have an excuse to just have that physical dancing contact with that cute guy no pressure you know or at the very least you can check out the cute guys shaking their hips ... in a bar what movement can you see? Everybody is just sitting or standing around.
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Apr 26, 2008 4:19 PM GMT
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Its very true about the bars in Boston. There used to be a few good options almost every day of the week (except tuesdays) and now not so much...
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Apr 26, 2008 4:20 PM GMT
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I'm happy to report that here in Sactown Cali just the opposite is happening.  We recently in the past two years had two new bars opened, and another on is currently under construction. I guess my home is just a little behind the time. But it sure is FUN!!! 
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Apr 26, 2008 4:20 PM GMT
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I luv how they ended that segment by sampling Blur's 'Boys and Girls'!
*sigh*
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Apr 26, 2008 4:32 PM GMT
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Here in Seattle, and probably other places, there are a few changes going on in the gay bar scene.
Many of the city blocks where gay bars may exist are being bought up, torn down and then the Urban living centers are popping up every where (here the urban living centers are the first floor is commercial for businesses and then condos built above). Sadly, it's becoming very sterile looking and a lot of the gay bar owners just aren't opening new places and some of it is because real estate or rent is just too high.
Also most of the gay bars here are open 7 days a week. I think that's a poor business decision if you're only going to cater to gays. Think about how many gay establishments there are and keep them all open 7 days a week. Then think about the gay population in the city to frequent these establishments then further decrease that amount by the number of gay men who drink more than one night a week. That doesn't leave a very big population to pay your business bills. So mixing crowds and appealing to straights as well as gays is a smart business decision. Plus if you're going to drink and dance, drinks and music are generally much better at gay bars. Straight bars pour single shot drinks in to rocks glasses for 8 dollars. Gay bars make that same drink with 2 shots and in a pint glass for 8 dollars. If you drink which would you pick?? And I'm sorry but the majority of straight bar DJs play Hip-Hop which just isn't my preferred music to dance or listen to.
More and more straight girls have always been increasing in numbers in gay dance clubs to get to the better music and away from straight men so they could dance without being hit on. It only makes sense more straight guys would figure it out and go to the gay clubs too. And if I were a gay dance club business owner I'd be happy because that's more money.
Plus like the article states isn't being accepted and living side by side what many activist are fighting for anyway.
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Apr 26, 2008 4:59 PM GMT
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When I moved to Toronto in 1986 there were 6 gay dance clubs one could choose from. On some nights I would visit three, because each one had its' own unique clientele (preppy, down-to-earth, older, younger).
Now I can name only three bars that are gay all the time and have dancing. Several bars that are straight have "gay" nights.
I personally kind of miss the days that one could go to a variety of gay dance clubs and feel totally comfortable and free. Mixed clubs have their strong points, but I don't think they would necessarily be the best place to meet another guy!
As for the internet, it has its' benefits (it is less threatening or intimidating to talk to someone on the internet versus a bar), but there is no replacement for talking to someone face to face.
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Apr 26, 2008 5:00 PM GMT
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I just think that now that gay men can get their sex quickies online it takes out the insentive to go out to a bar. There has always been a lack of alternative gay things to do, maybe more are popping up so people are choosing that.
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Apr 26, 2008 5:21 PM GMT
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SactownJock saidI'm happy to report that here in Sactown Cali just the opposite is happening. We recently in the past two years had two new bars opened, and another on is currently under construction. I guess my home is just a little behind the time. But it sure is FUN!!! Sacramento is the Nebraska of California. It's hardly representive of progressive people. It's part of the Meth capital of of the United states and it's full of Republicans. Nuff said. |
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Apr 26, 2008 5:29 PM GMT
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This does not make me unhappy. In fact, give me a sledgehammer and make sure Britney is playing and I will gladly help.
Gay bars are regressive and lame. For years now, owners have ignored changing times while we head to clubs and shows that play indie and alternative rock and enjoy an atmosphere that doesn't smell like urine or have some drunk, loud, unfunny drag queen emceeing it all. Me and my friends don’t want to be surrounded by unhealthy, meth addicted, faux hawk sporting, smoking, brand and celebrity worshiping, shallow, petty lemmings anyway. We want to get out and experience real culture, with real people. Do I have great contempt for gay culture right now? Unapologetically. We suck right now. We are an apathetic, alcoholic and addicted, self absorbed, unworldly, shallow lot right now, and HIV and AIDS rates are soaring once again. And gay bars have been part of the problem, isolating and insulating gay people from reality, good influences and positive cultural exchange.
My straight friends want to hang out with me too when I go out, and I don't want to subject them to gay separatists with attitude. It's a slap in the face when we are supported by wonderful friends who are straight and someone with non-assimilists attitude discriminates against them by making them feel unwelcome.
I highly sudgest the End of Gay and the Death of Heterosexuality by Peter Archer for a more indebt looks on progressive gay culture and what needs to be thanked, but left behind.
Sweeping new positive and progressive changes threaten the old order simply because they don’t know any other way to live. I share the world with many valuable straight friends who make a difference in it. I do not limit my activities to exclusionary gay events anymore and I won’t. It’s sort of like going to a “whites only” or “blacks only” rally. We are past that kind of thing. It’s just wrong. Many regions of the country have achieved exactly what we activists have fought years to bring about and that is unprecedented acceptance and assimilation. Of course, we would enjoy greater success in more areas if the representatives of those still oppressed regional gay communities would stop being such bad representatives. Gay culture is as bloated, sad and tired as an ex member of Foreigner or R.E.O. Speed wagon. OH, and FUCK Potlucks.
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Apr 26, 2008 5:56 PM GMT
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someone's bitter about not getting laid the last 14 times he went out...
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Apr 26, 2008 6:06 PM GMT
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I find that a lot of the straight bars here in rural PA are offering "Alternative Nights" which is scary as hell. There are some bars I wouldn't think of going to that are suddenly soliciting my business. The problem is you don't really know who you are talking to in these bars. Is he one of the regulars there on the wrong night? Or is he really someone you may want to get to know?
Either way I never let my guard down long enough to find out. They are good for a few drinks but not at all relaxing.
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Apr 26, 2008 6:08 PM GMT
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While I think it's great that acceptance is moving slowly forward, I have two regrets:
1.) There's much more risk in making a proposal to another guy in a "mixed" bar if you are uncertain of his orientation. Making a pass at a straight man, or worse yet a closeted one, who has had one two many drinks and may feel threatened could end in a physical altercation at the very least. Not to mention, who wants to play the "is he or isn't he" game. I don't have time for that.
2.) As a DJ, I recognize that gay clubs have always had the corner on the house music market. If the younger guys aren't aware, most good gay DJ's break new music long before the mixed club-goers hear it on the radio. For example, we were playing Robin S's Show Me Love 6 months before it crossed over into top 40 land. And when is the last time you heard a Suzanne Palmer song on the radio or in a straight club, not to mention the more obscure, yet loved, house music? Straight clubs (with rare exceptions in extremely large cities) have the reputation of only playing music that people know the words to and can sing along with and that is mostly booty music and rap. I personally would rather forge a new trail than be led around like a lost sheep by the music industry.
Alas, all things change. I just hope that with the benefits gained we don't lose some of the positive culture we have a right to be proud of!
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Apr 26, 2008 6:24 PM GMT
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I don't think this is a new trend. In fact, I've been complaining about it for years. And not so much about the bars, but the impact on other gay groups.
Here in Ann Arbor (your small midwestern college town), I'd say that gay activity peaked in the early-to-mid 1990s. Ann Arbor had a full-time gay bar ("The Flame") since the 1930s or 40s and in 1983 one of the big straight clubs ("Nectarine Ballroom", now "the Necto" smallroom) introduced "Boys Night Out" (on Tuesdays). Then they made Friday night another gay night, and then Sunday, too. Another gay-only bar ("Aut") opened in 1994.
Today the Flame is gone and Necto is only gay on Fridays (and its more mixed).
Outside the bar scene, there were lots of other townie and student groups that were happening. There was the "East Quad Group", a coming out group for students in the dorms. There were medical and engineering and library science and other college gay groups. There was Qup (not exactly like Act Up, not sure what their mission was). There was also a "chem free" dance known as "Club Fab" (which is where I met Matt the 2nd time, got his football tickets and personal info, and the rest is history.)
Off campus there was "Canterbury House", a weekly open-house originally started by the Episcopalians but which quickly lost any religious affiliation and was a bar alternative with a weekly draw of 50-100 people in its heyday. There was gay volleyball and gay soccer, BBQs/picnics and canoe trips (which I organized) and the Wasthenaw (county) Rainbow Action Project was started.
I left town in 1998. OK, that's overly dramatic. I moved to a Detroit suburb 30 minutes away. Now "married", I dropped off the scene. My friends graduated and moved away and Matt's friends were in the Detroit area. While it worked, we were never really happy in the "bedroom community" where we lived, midway between Ann Arbor and Detroit's gay epicentre (the Ferndale/Royal Oak area) - which we also frequented only rarely.
Hmmm, this may be another development detrimental to the bars. Are more gay people now partnering in monogamous relationships and thus exiting the market?
Matt and I returned to Ann Arbor 3 years ago, but in the interim many of the groups disappeared. Canterbury House, volleyball, soccer, Qup, East Quad Group, Club Fab, some of the professional groups... all gone. WRAP was faltering, too.
I think it's a good thing that people are out enough with their straight friends that they don't need gay-only environments. Nonetheless I fear that the pendulum may be swinging too much in the other direction. Will we end up with a "community" which is only virtual? Where people meet on-line for (virtual) sex but otherwise socialize amongst the population at large?
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Apr 26, 2008 6:29 PM GMT
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I think its great that gay bars are dying off with the younger generation.
Its ludicrous to associate the free social behavior of coming out with getting drunk, and certainly the pattern of getting drunk, which is what so many gay men do. So many men in Dallas develop not only dysfunctional drinking patters from it but dysfunctional social patterns also.
My hope is that younger kids are connecting to gay sports and other healthy activities to socialize with other gay people their age.
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Apr 26, 2008 6:45 PM GMT
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PupDog saidI think its great that gay bars are dying off with the younger generation.
Its ludicrous to associate the free social behavior of coming out with getting drunk, and certainly the pattern of getting drunk, which is what so many gay men do. So many men in Dallas develop not only dysfunctional drinking patters from it but dysfunctional social patterns also.
My hope is that younger kids are connecting to gay sports and other healthy activities to socialize with other gay people their age. Exactly! You rock PupDog. |
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Apr 26, 2008 6:55 PM GMT
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Well, whether it's a good or a bad thing, the trend has happened in New Mexico (at least the Albuquerque/Santa Fe part of the state).
Recently all (maybe 5-7 ?) the gay bars but one in Albuquerque, the largest city in NM, closed. The remaining one ("Sidewinder" - used to be called "The Ranch") is a mix, or was the one time I visited there, of gay college-age men (U of NM is in Albuqueerque as some pronounce it), wannabee cowboys, bears, and some just "ordinary" guys meeting in a place they feel comfortable in. There was a great DJ on duty at the time, too.
The Pride Gym in Albuquerque, which turned almost into a bath house-type facility on Friday and Saturday nights, has closed or been closed down.
Santa Fe has a large gay (and especially lesbian) population compared to the total population. But I think as a generalization, I can say a large number if not mostt of the guys here are already partnered. Sure, there are the singles and partners playing around on craig's list, the personals sites, etc. - but really I think because so many men here are already in relationships/partnerships, and everyone in Santa Fe sort of mixes it up together anyway, there are NO bars, clubs, restaurants, gyms etc. that are exclusively gay. Everything here is purportedly "gay friendly" or "gay owned" but does not have an exclusively gay clientele. There were a couple of clubs here a few years ago, I'm told (I moved here in 2004), both of which have closed down and one reopened as a generic dance club/multi-level bars establishment with a restaurant -- all pretty conservative, if I can use that term. There is a very nice gym with good equipment, a good clientele, and a very "active" sauna and steam room -- and the people at the gym are of all persuasions, but especially gay .
So -- I agree I like diversity and mixing in comfortably, etc. etc. Maybe it's true the younger generations are less likely to frequent a one-flavor place; I don't know. Also I do know and agree that at least in a place like Santa Fe -- there's no public gay "action" going on any more in the sense of entertainment, social gathering/watering places, a place where you feel you know to whom you're talking and don't risk mis-steps in those situations. The situation seems like a time-warp in which gay men and lesbians are generally not seen or really a part of the social weave in some ways. On the other hand, Santa Fe and even parts of Albuquerque being casual, artsy, open-minded, spiritual, full of zen overtones, etc. people of all walks mingle and probably are identified as who and what they are, but I don't hear of any real frictions and problems or gay bashing going on here...so maybe the shifting and evolution of society is happening here, too.
Maybe the large Hispanic population and history and the Catholic Church's presence over time here have also influenced how things have turned out in NM.
I had just wished I had been able to find the gay friends I wanted more easily when I first moved here. I'm fine now.
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Apr 26, 2008 7:01 PM GMT
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PupDog said
Its ludicrous to associate the free social behavior of coming out with getting drunk, and certainly the pattern of getting drunk, which is what so many gay men do.
My hope is that younger kids are connecting to gay sports and other healthy activities to socialize with other gay people their age. A Lot of straight people do this as well. Getting drunk or meeting at a club isn't strictly a gay activity. Manhunt and other sex sites for men to meet and have random hookups, however, are mostly a gay thing. To think that most younger gay men are meeting on the soccer field instead of other less healthy alternatives is funny. The disappearance of the "gay" bar does not signal the liberation of gays everywhere. It just means they are using the internet more for meeting randoms for hookups. The rise in HIV infection among younger gay men shows you just how much "healthier" the alternative is. |
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Apr 26, 2008 7:01 PM GMT
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Pup Dog I moved to Dallas the club scene here is Awful except for Round up and that is getting full of Straight Cowboy Yahoos Was there last week had a Texan moron dragging his GF to the dance floor run into me covering me with my drink. Not a word, then three songs later he did the same thing but i spilled the drink on Him. One reason clubs are folding is the owner letting in too many breeder couples.
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Apr 26, 2008 7:02 PM GMT
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I just played that segment to my Roomate who is an avid WeHo Club hopper and I think he started to tear up. With a snicker I lightened the mood by reminding him "But, they played Blur at the end!" His response, "Who's that?"  |
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Apr 26, 2008 7:02 PM GMT
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To each his own...my, my there's a bunch of bitterness coming out here!
I do think the internet has had a big impact...while I prefer to meet people in person...I know there are many more who are very comfortable "ordering in"...and since gay bars primary function has always been to provide a place to meet like-minded men (or womyn)...you take even part of that away...and that's a major revenue drain.
Yes, its nice to have a place where you don't have to guess about the orientation of the other people there. But its also nice to engage in other activities outside of bars...although my perception of our myriad gay sports teams is they play...and then they drink.
I think the NPR story's end hit on the issue...we no longer are forced to patronize establishments that provide the bare minimum...how many straight/mixed bars have you been in where the primary motif is to paint everything black?
Build it, provide value for the money, you'll attract a crowd...it just may not necessarily be the one you're targeting!
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Apr 26, 2008 7:04 PM GMT
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Though I'm a bit leery of the "one day we'll all be the same/assimilated line," I can't say I'll shed many tears if the "bar scene" is forced to go down. There's already been some "tough love" above, but I'll add my two cents...
Gay bars (at least in what I've experienced in the decade I've been going to them) peaked in the '90s and a bit in the early part of this century. In the interim, there was Bush, marriage acts, etc., and gay people/the "gay community" experienced an identity crisis/crisis of political agendas which its still working through.
Add to this IMHO, gay bars have been some of the least eager to innovate and change. Running the same show in the same way as you always have while new generations come along is just nonsense. If its not the pedantic approach to music its the encouragement of vapidity and superficiality. I say this as someone whose had a great time at bars and who goes occasionally. Still, there's something antiquated about the bar scene which I've always found alienating.
I doubt bars will disappear so long as there's homophobia(and let's be real, there's something to be said for meeting a trick face to face rather than from online/the internet) but the facelift is definately overdue.
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Apr 26, 2008 7:20 PM GMT
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dancerjack saidsomeone's bitter about not getting laid the last 14 times he went out... LOL! I suspect a case of protesting too much. Does anyone know how the downturn in gay club business compares to trends in the general market? |
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Apr 26, 2008 7:34 PM GMT
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caesarea4 saidI don't think this is a new trend. In fact, I've been complaining about it for years. And not so much about the bars, but the impact on other gay groups.
Here in Ann Arbor (your small midwestern college town), I'd say that gay activity peaked in the early-to-mid 1990s. Ann Arbor had a full-time gay bar ("The Flame") since the 1930s or 40s and in 1983 one of the big straight clubs ("Nectarine Ballroom", now "the Necto" smallroom) introduced "Boys Night Out" (on Tuesdays). Then they made Friday night another gay night, and then Sunday, too. Another gay-only bar ("Aut") opened in 1994.
Today the Flame is gone and Necto is only gay on Fridays (and its more mixed).
Outside the bar scene, there were lots of other townie and student groups that were happening. There was the "East Quad Group", a coming out group for students in the dorms. There were medical and engineering and library science and other college gay groups. There was Qup (not exactly like Act Up, not sure what their mission was). There was also a "chem free" dance known as "Club Fab" (which is where I met Matt the 2nd time, got his football tickets and personal info, and the rest is history.)
Off campus there was "Canterbury House", a weekly open-house originally started by the Episcopalians but which quickly lost any religious affiliation and was a bar alternative with a weekly draw of 50-100 people in its heyday. There was gay volleyball and gay soccer, BBQs/picnics and canoe trips (which I organized) and the Wasthenaw (county) Rainbow Action Project was started.
I left town in 1998. OK, that's overly dramatic. I moved to a Detroit suburb 30 minutes away. Now "married", I dropped off the scene. My friends graduated and moved away and Matt's friends were in the Detroit area. While it worked, we were never really happy in the "bedroom community" where we lived, midway between Ann Arbor and Detroit's gay epicentre (the Ferndale/Royal Oak area) - which we also frequented only rarely.
Hmmm, this may be another development detrimental to the bars. Are more gay people now partnering in monogamous relationships and thus exiting the market?
Matt and I returned to Ann Arbor 3 years ago, but in the interim many of the groups disappeared. Canterbury House, volleyball, soccer, Qup, East Quad Group, Club Fab, some of the professional groups... all gone. WRAP was faltering, too.
I think it's a good thing that people are out enough with their straight friends that they don't need gay-only environments. Nonetheless I fear that the pendulum may be swinging too much in the other direction. Will we end up with a "community" which is only virtual? Where people meet on-line for (virtual) sex but otherwise socialize amongst the population at large? My word, the Flame is history? I can't believe it. Where did you move to, anyway? Novi? |
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Apr 26, 2008 7:59 PM GMT
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Well, sorry guys, but I like gay bars - a lot. Having just come out less than a year ago, and being totally gay-celibate before that (married and totally committed to a woman), the gay bar scene has given me a chance to observe gay men being touchy-feely (inhibitions down), and experience things that I wouldn't have if a little liquid courage hadn't intervened - and I'm not an alcoholic by any means -- I rarely drink outside of either Friday or Saturday nights. I've met some really nice guys, and done some fun things (including sung karaoke for the first time, which has prompted me to sing more openly without liquid courage).
Anyway, I feel more at home in a gay bar than a mixed bar, simply because I am not worried about embarrassing myself by assuming that a guy is gay. If a straight guy is in a gay bar and I assume he's gay, I don't feel embarrassed because he chose to come to a place where he would get "hit on".
The whole point is that this has been an essential part of my coming out process, and I wouldn't trade it for the world!
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Apr 26, 2008 8:00 PM GMT
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And you guys are the reason why.... Why schlep out to a gay bar and be mauled by drunks have to yell to be heard and need to smell stale beer and cigarette smoke when you can let your fingers do the walking online? |
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Apr 26, 2008 8:17 PM GMT
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At least at a bar you can meet someone and talk to them before inviting them back as opposed to online when you open the door and instead of the hot 23 yo stud you were chatting with you see some fat 50 yo creepy fuck.
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Apr 26, 2008 8:25 PM GMT
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Hey NPR apparently didn't come to Dallas,Tx. The clubs in Dallas are all alive and thriving. We have a mixture of many different types of clubs in one central location and several in the outskirts. Caven Enterprises has just recently remodeled and moved Sue Ellens from it's original location on Cedar Springs to the location on Throckmorton where the Throckmorton Mining Company was, and is about to start remodel on the old Sue Ellens to make a new TMC in that building. The Roundup is the Southern U.S's largest gay country western dance hall with a huge crowd every weekend and events going on all week long. Gay pageants, Texas HoldEm, Karaoke nightly, Dance Lessons, and it attracts young and old to every event. Several other clubs along the Cedar Springs strip cover the latino gays, and sports bar. Station 4 is one of the largest gay dance clubs in the region with a high tech light system and large dance floor, upstairs in the Rose Room is the best female impersonators in the state. Our clubs in Dallas are far from going "bottoms up".. Come and check us out on your next vacation. You will be glad you did.
http://www.roundupsaloon.com
http://www.caven.partyontheblock.com
Roger in Dallas
DJ at the Roundup ...
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Apr 26, 2008 8:28 PM GMT
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Rhodielifter saidAt least at a bar you can meet someone and talk to them before inviting them back as opposed to online when you open the door and instead of the hot 23 yo stud you were chatting with you see some fat 50 yo creepy fuck. Or worse, a 23 yo creepy fuck.  |
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Apr 26, 2008 8:37 PM GMT
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Dosen't matter to me. I tend to have more problems in gay bars/clubs than I do in mixed ones. This shows progress.
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Apr 26, 2008 9:41 PM GMT
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Anyone knows here in Dubai? |
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Apr 26, 2008 9:44 PM GMT
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TallGWMvballer saidWhy do you have to Drink (alcohol) to meet people or have a good time? Thanks for the life advice via rhetorical question. The topic was about the Internet and "gay bars." Bars, where drinking is their business (and the norm). I'm not sure if it was assumed safe to stereotype the speaker as an alcoholic bar-fly or an immature juvenile, but it seems a little condescending to take what was said out of context and apply it so broadly as to encompass drinking as a necessary requirement to "have a good time." |
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Apr 26, 2008 10:12 PM GMT
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This IS an intriguing topic.... and the assimilation of bars into the mainstream is palpable, especially in the cities/towns with a strongly "progressive" tolerant tradtions .... What was described about Ann Arbor has also happened in Bloomington, In. which now has only one establishment [ formerly 4 ] Sense that "CREW" in Chicago, and another recent sports bar in NY [ ?!? ] represent the future...?? Immaculate spacious Sports bars with quality chow, wide range of beer spirits etc at competitive prices and an overall ambience that feels welcoming to the progressive "extended" family ___ including that born-again cousin or nervous straight sports fanatic jock brother, as well as the "olds" .... Concede i'm most comfortable in mixed bars... with multi sports channels ... or mellow juke boxes.... Interested to hear further feedback....  |
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Apr 26, 2008 10:42 PM GMT
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obscenewish said
Does anyone know how the downturn in gay club business compares to trends in the general market? Dunno, but I came across an article this past fall that was saying the whole concept of the 'gayborhood' was similarly disappearing. I don't recall the article, but a couple of the main factors seemed to be inner city turnover and renewal and a lesser need by many to have their own gay-exclusive areas. |
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Apr 26, 2008 10:46 PM GMT
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I don't understand the hostility to the exclusively-gay bar in many of the posts. I want more options; I don't want options to disappear. Gay bars are an important site in which gay people become visible to each other in a way they simply can't in a supposedly "mixed" bar. Why can't we have wholesome gay softball teams and gay dive bars?
But incidentally, on the concept of the "mixed" bar: How mixed are these places, anyway? I frequented one at one point in my life, but on a Friday or Saturday night there was a 95% chance that any man you would find in there would be gay. With those odds, I think it just becomes a gay bar with larger windows, fancier decor, and a small clientele of heterosexual women.
If a gay man walks into any ordinary bar, isn't it automatically "mixed"? No?
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Apr 26, 2008 10:46 PM GMT
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zdrew said
Dunno, but I came across an article this past fall that was saying the whole concept of the 'gayborhood' was similarly disappearing. Yes, and also as decayed neighborhoods get spruced up by gay urban pioneers, they have become wickedly expensive. That doesn't matter as much to those lucky enough to already live there, but it's prohibitive to the young homo looking for a friendly area to live in. |
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Apr 26, 2008 10:49 PM GMT
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Sedative said
Or worse, a 23 yo creepy fuck. Hey I'm not that creepy! Anyways back to the OP.... Um... yah know its funny I was thinking about this earlier this year. The two gay bars in Hartford CT have been slow as of late. I've assumed its yet to warm up enough to get queers out but even the unofficial gay night at one bar on Tuesday has dried up. Gays just are either going further to NYC or Providence or just go to normal bars. Heck Friday's happy hour draws more queers! |
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Apr 27, 2008 12:34 AM GMT
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It's called "social skills" guys -- I agree about meeting someone in a bar as opposed to online. Online is scary, and you don't have friends around to give you the heads up on that "creepy 'whatever-year-old-fuck'". And by the way, for those of you who haven't read my profile, I, yes, I am 52, to be 53 in August, and my partner is 37! I'm not THAT creepy! As far as the 'fuck' part goes, I'd love to -- that an invitation??? LOL!
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Apr 27, 2008 12:43 AM GMT
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As far as I can tell, gay bars in Chicago are doing fine. A gay sports bar opened up a couple years ago and has been doing very well and Hamburger Marys added and upstairs bar which is also doing ok. I think the big cities have an advantage in that they can rely on a lot of convention and vacation traffic. It's also obvious that more and more straight people are comfortable in gay bars, especially younger women.
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Apr 27, 2008 12:57 AM GMT
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I am fine with "gay" bars, but I really prefer something that reflects am mixed "tolerant" group. Sometimes change from the status quo is good. I would not want to live in a "gay vacuum" If gays want to be accepted mainstream ultimately it will mean rubbing shoulders with heterosexuals until we all become comfortable with each other.
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Apr 27, 2008 1:15 AM GMT
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Active and Fit has a very good point. People who knew me before I came out are very shocked to see that I'm the same guy that I was before I came out.
I, frankly, was amazed to find out that gay guys (except for me) are not the horn-dogs that the straight world makes them out to be. Gay people are some of the best people I know, and most of the time, they're much nicer and loving and service oriented than most of the so-called Christians that I know.
So I guess it is really a good thing that we're mixing. I just don't want to get punched in the nose by a straight guy that I ask to dance or ask if I can buy him a drink. (Yes, my boyfriend knows I do this, and I know that he does too, and it's totally ok with both of us.)
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Apr 27, 2008 1:17 AM GMT
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ActiveAndFit saidIf gays want to be accepted mainstream ultimately it will mean rubbing shoulders with heterosexuals until we all become comfortable with each other. I rub shoulders with heterosexuals all day long! We all do. And I love my straight friends. I don't think gay people's discomfort with straight people is the issue. On the contrary! I like going to non-gay establishments; in fact, I usually prefer it. But it is also good--no, it's essential--to have places where you are not presumed to be heterosexual, and you don't have to presume other men are, either. Maybe in New York or Los Angeles people have quit assuming that strangers are straight, and you can just ask out a cute guy you're standing next to in the subway and he won't take offense, but it's just not that way yet in most places. And I think that's why gay bars still are so useful. |
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Apr 27, 2008 1:18 AM GMT
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Gay bars are all fine and dandy (for now), but they are very reminiscent for people that are of a certain color, only being able to go to certain 'colored establishments' and are only able to drink from certain ‘water fountains’...
Are we taking a step back with only going to gay bars, or a major step forward when it comes to being able into going anywhere?
I talked with a friend of mine that owns a gay bar here in Detroit...the eerie thing about this forum is that he said gay bars won't be around in ten years because it's becoming more acceptable to go to any old bar if you're gay~
My contention is, how are the one's that only go out to gay bars; how are they going to be able to adapt?
I prefer any bar over gay bars, because people are people (and why should it be) and at gay bars there is a stigmatism on how to behave~
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Apr 27, 2008 1:18 AM GMT
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Eh, The Abbey (predominantly featured in the article) is definitely worse off for its new "business model."
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Apr 27, 2008 1:29 AM GMT
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lateralus saidI talked with a friend of mine that owns a gay bar here in Detroit...the eerie thing about this forum is that he said gay bars won't be around in ten years because it's becoming more acceptable to go to any old bar if you're gay~ See, this is exactly what I want to ask about, because I really don't know. I believe that you probably can go into almost any bar or restaurant in this country and be served, even if you tell the bartender "I'm gay" or are in the company of eight other men with suspiciously good haircuts. But while you're there, are there any restrictions on your behavior that straight customers wouldn't experience? Can you hold hands with your boyfriend in plain sight? Can you give each other a discreet kiss? If you get into a conversation with a cute guy at another table, can you give him your card and ask him to call you sometime? Maybe you can, and maybe I'm just too chicken to do things like this myself. But I think people in America are generally fine with you being gay. They still just don't want you to do anything that amounts to "acting gay." |
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Apr 27, 2008 1:30 AM GMT
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SockMonkey saidI rub shoulders with heterosexuals all day long! We all do. And I love my straight friends. I don't think gay people's discomfort with straight people is the issue. On the contrary! I am thinking of situations outside of things like "work" In that environment people can only see you in a very narrow way. When people see you in a more relaxed casual environment it can be very different, and make a more "humane" impression. But yes, I do agree that is is good to still have some kind of gay-centric environments for various "support" reasons. |
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Apr 27, 2008 1:38 AM GMT
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SockMonkey saidSee, this is exactly what I want to ask about, because I really don't know. I believe that you probably can go into almost any bar or restaurant in this country and be served, even if you tell the bartender "I'm gay" or are in the company of eight other men with suspiciously good haircuts. But while you're there, are there any restrictions on your behavior that straight customers wouldn't experience? In my mind and a few experiences, when a bar is truly known to be "mixed" then you are still free to be "gay" The few times I have been in an environment like that, it was liberating to be in the place "with a guy" while chatting with a straight friend and his girlfriend who were apparently very comfortable with everything. It is an experience hard to describe. |
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Apr 27, 2008 1:40 AM GMT
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There has been only marginal talk to far about the quality of many/most gay bars.
Call me a snob, but I like a nice place. As in clean, well-designed, good music, loungey vibe, etc. Most gay bars - at least in the midwest - do not offer this. They're always filthy, sleazy, divey, etc and don't place any importance on quality and service. They just assume that because they are 'the gay bar' the LGBT folks will show up and put up with it.
As Thor might declare, I say thee nay!
I tend to choose the lounge type places in Cincinnati - Beluga, Twist, etc - over the scuzzy gay bars because I don't want to worry about what I might be sitting on on that chair. Although in the past year we've actually had a gay lounge open - Below Zero - that is quite nice, even if their levels of service are not all they could be.
But as others have pointed out, if gay bars could change with the times and meet the rising Millennial generation gays on their playing field...they might sustain. Otherwise, forget about it.
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Apr 27, 2008 2:14 AM GMT
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ActiveAndFit saidIn my mind and a few experiences, when a bar is truly known to be "mixed" then you are still free to be "gay" The few times I have been in an environment like that, it was liberating to be in the place "with a guy" while chatting with a straight friend and his girlfriend who were apparently very comfortable with everything. It is an experience hard to describe. I'm sure situations like this do occur, and there are venues that support this kind of mixing, and of course it is a great forward step. I'm all in favor of this new kind of place; I just don't think the need for the old one has completely disappeared. And I think you and I actually agree on this. |
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Apr 27, 2008 2:34 AM GMT
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SockMonkey said lateralus saidI talked with a friend of mine that owns a gay bar here in Detroit...the eerie thing about this forum is that he said gay bars won't be around in ten years because it's becoming more acceptable to go to any old bar if you're gay~
_______Lateralus said the above/sockmonkwey said below
See, this is exactly what I want to ask about, because I raelly don't know. I believe that you probably can go into almost any bar or restaurant in this country and be served, even if you tell the bartender "I'm gay" or are in the company of eight other men with suspiciously good haircuts. But while you're there, are there any restrictions on your behavior that straight customers wouldn't experience?
Can you hold hands with your boyfriend in plain sight?
Can you give each other a discreet kiss?
If you get into a conversation with a cute guy at another table, can you give him your card and ask him to call you sometime?
Maybe you can, and maybe I'm just too chicken to do things like this myself. But I think people in America are generally fine with you being gay. They still just don't want you to do anything that amounts to "acting gay." _____________________________________________________ And this is what 'I lateralus' said below~ And here in lie's the problem... I still have yet to go to a restaurant, or a bar, that people are making out 'in plain sight'. And if they are...it's a trashy ‘mobile home on wheels’ place. Give me a break, are you willing to sacrifice ‘our' way of life so you can hold hands at some ole' place? That's conceded and nefarious. Wouldn't you rather wait for the chance to hold hands in public at any given time? Did you know that it was illegal for any white person to marry a black person some 50 some odd years ago (and that was HERE in America). But who changed that? Do you think they flaunted it to get their way? NO. They went out of their way to fight for what they believed in on a whole different level...and that was through words, not way’s~ As for you only going to gay bars, in how, you get to ‘make out’ is something you can do at home...but for you priding with someone else that you are here and 'queer' so get used to it, well, it's a whole other story. By the way, everyone I know has appreciated the story of not with the 'hiding in a bar so I can make out with a boyfriend' story...which is ridiculous, they are more understanding with the story that someone came out in a different world, other than their’s. What would you do in a different role? |
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Apr 27, 2008 2:35 AM GMT
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CaliDarin saidThis does not make me unhappy. In fact, give me a sledgehammer and make sure Britney is playing and I will gladly help.
Gay bars are regressive and lame. For years now, owners have ignored changing times while we head to clubs and shows that play indie and alternative rock and enjoy an atmosphere that doesn't smell like urine or have some drunk, loud, unfunny drag queen emceeing it all. Me and my friends don’t want to be surrounded by unhealthy, meth addicted, faux hawk sporting, smoking, brand and celebrity worshiping, shallow, petty lemmings anyway. We want to get out and experience real culture, with real people. Do I have great contempt for gay culture right now? Unapologetically. We suck right now. We are an apathetic, alcoholic and addicted, self absorbed, unworldly, shallow lot right now, and HIV and AIDS rates are soaring once again. And gay bars have been part of the problem, isolating and insulating gay people from reality, good influences and positive cultural exchange.
My straight friends want to hang out with me too when I go out, and I don't want to subject them to gay separatists with attitude. It's a slap in the face when we are supported by wonderful friends who are straight and someone with non-assimilists attitude discriminates against them by making them feel unwelcome.
I highly sudgest the End of Gay and the Death of Heterosexuality by Peter Archer for a more indebt looks on progressive gay culture and what needs to be thanked, but left behind.
Sweeping new positive and progressive changes threaten the old order simply because they don’t know any other way to live. I share the world with many valuable straight friends who make a difference in it. I do not limit my activities to exclusionary gay events anymore and I won’t. It’s sort of like going to a “whites only” or “blacks only” rally. We are past that kind of thing. It’s just wrong. Many regions of the country have achieved exactly what we activists have fought years to bring about and that is unprecedented acceptance and assimilation. Of course, we would enjoy greater success in more areas if the representatives of those still oppressed regional gay communities would stop being such bad representatives. Gay culture is as bloated, sad and tired as an ex member of Foreigner or R.E.O. Speed wagon. OH, and FUCK Potlucks.
Some very good, strong points here. Sad, the truth is not always nice. Oh, and since, even at Ones very advanced years. One is still able to pull a root. So One does not agree with this out of bitterness!!! |
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Apr 27, 2008 2:40 AM GMT
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lateralus saidGive me a break, are you willing to sacrifice ‘our' way of life so you can hold hands at some ole' place? That's conceded and nefarious. Wouldn't you rather wait for the chance to hold hands in public at any given time? Did you know that it was illegal for any white person to marry a black person some 50 some odd years ago (and that was HERE in America). But who changed that?
...
What would you do in a different role? I am not sure I understand what you are asking. Just to make sure I am being clear: Personally, I dislike public displays of affection--it doesn't matter whose affection it is, either. The freedom to make out with another guy in public is one I would probably never take advantage of. For some reason it is important to me to state that. My point was just that "tolerance" doesn't always mean "equality." Believe me, I am elated when people tolerate me. It is much better than the alternative. But I want more than to be tolerated. As for the alternatives you presented of an in-your-face, assertion of queer difference vs. an unthreatening assimilation into the straight world ... can I pick all of the above? Outrageous rainbow-flag-waving for special occasions and regular-guy-who-happens-to-be-openly-gay for everyday? I think the heroes of gay liberation include both fabulous drag queens and mild-mannered suburban gay couples. Why does it have to be one or the other? More possibilities! More freedom! That's the world I want to say yes to. |
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Apr 27, 2008 2:44 AM GMT
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SOCKDRUNKEY, AHEM, SOCKFUNKY
lmao...
You're trying to re-iterate a point you were willing to make in your last assertion here.
Please don't back track in what you're trying to prove. It doesn't make for good bedfellows.
My point made sense.
Your's however...
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Apr 27, 2008 8:10 AM GMT
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I like the idea of gay bars that go mixed rather than straight ones that have "boys nights" or whatever. I was never involved in the L.A. club scene, but hasn't Tigerheat become fairly mixed in its clientčle?
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Apr 27, 2008 8:18 AM GMT
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I'm coming to the conclusion that gay bars are no longer that, but are now mixed clubs instead. I consider this to the a part of the homogenization of all things in the USA. The only things untouched are women-only clubs, whether it is a gym or a bar, women continue to have an exclusive and unique experience. I'm saddened that Americans do not see the value of keeping a diversity of venues and businesses. It's always nice to go to a Mexican restaurant that serves only Mexican food, etc, but that's all disappearing. I think it's because all businesses are too greedy to be unique. Also, I've found that many gay bars are scared to death of lawsuits if they choose to even have a men-only night once in a while. None of the bars in Sacramento, CA are willing to have a men-only night.
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Apr 27, 2008 8:28 AM GMT
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jprichva> My word, the Flame is history? I can't believe it.
Where did you move to, anyway? Novi?
The Flem first moved a block (from Washington to a parallel place on Liberty) and a year or two later closed. You might remember the juke box radios in the booths, but those were pulled out and sold by the (straight) owner in the mid 1980s - why put money into a bar when you can sell what it has to make some quick cash...?
Novi, in a chic way, would have been a step up from Livonia. The area around the mall has grown tremendously. In Livonia, the Wonderland Mall is gone and the Livonia Mall has lost 2 of its 3 anchor stores (Mervyn's and Crowley's; only Sears remains).
In other Michigan news, Farmer Jack Savings Time has expired, the entire grocery chain gone. You were still here to see Briarwood open, and maybe you've even deduced that Montgomery Ward's and Kresge are gone from Arborland (as in the rest of the world) and so is JC Penney (I miss the red helicopter ride they had). In fact, the open air mall has been redone in strip mall fashion. I dare say if you drove down Washtenaw, you might not know where you are. Gone are AA Buick, the Olds dealer across the street, Fisca, the Arbor Lodge hotel (spent my first night in A^2 there), the Crystal Lodge motel, Ponderosa, Holly Steak & 4, Mr. S, Big Boy, Franks Nursery, Highland Appliance.... and over on Stadium, what then might have still been a Wrigley's (then became a Great Scott's, Wenks and Whole Foods) is now a Trader Joe's (yay!). Heck, we now have 3 Meijer's in town, no department stores downtown, and Borders#1 is now a Steve & Barry's (with Borders in the former Jacobson's). On the bright side, the McDonald's and Burger King on Maynard (not sure if they were there already back then) are gone. So is Mickey Rat's, but Pinball Pete's lives on.
RyeMac> What was described about Ann Arbor has also happened in Bloomington, In. which now has only one establishment [ formerly 4 ]
But what about your malls? (:
Can't believe I've never been down there. Shoot, Michigan doesn't play at Indiana until 2010.
RyeMac> Sense that "CREW" in Chicago, and another recent sports bar in NY [ ?!? ] represent the future...??
That would be Gym's.
http://www.gymsportsbar.com
Lateralus, I think SockMonkey's point is that a mixed environment, even if friendly, can nonetheless be restrictive. Let me give you an example. A couple weeks ago Matt and I were volunteering at the WRAP fundraiser brunch held at the Aut Bar. I needed to leave early to get to the UM Spring Practice. I gave some good-bye hugs to some friends and then a brief kiss to Matt, saying something like "see you back home for dinner". Not some "in your face" sleazy make-out as a political point. Just something totally "normal", that straight people do everywhere. Had the brunch been held at a "mixed" venue, be it Zingerman's or Denny's... would I have felt comfortable giving Matt a good-bye kiss? Would someone accuse us of "flaunting" it?
I think the traditional expression is that gay spaces are where we can "let our hair down" without worrying about offending the straight world.
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Apr 27, 2008 2:10 PM GMT
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caesarea:
I can't imagine all of this. The McDonald's on Maynard street was controversial when it opened; to satisfy the city zoning, they had to agree to change it architecturally so that there were no garish arches on display; it was one of the first urban McDonald's to do this.
I spent practically all of my time in Ann Arbor at the Student Publications Bldg down the street. Those of us who worked at the Daily, at least the hard-core ones, virtually lived there.
Wow.
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Apr 27, 2008 2:45 PM GMT
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Gay bar owners are going to have to adjust to the new ways of meeting people. Adjust or perish. I think that just because gay bars are closing up, it doesn't mean there isn't a market for that industry in that town. I just think the demand may have changed. For example, when those places opened up it was really the only option to meet people. So people were willing to put up with smoke in your face, nasty sticky floors, dirty places, et cetera. I think in order to succeed now you are going to have to do more than that. I mean if we want to meet anyone else, we'll just go online. But I know a lot of people here would *prefer* to meet people in real life. There's a lot about real life interaction that you don't get online.
I think the gay-bar market is still there and will always be there.
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Apr 27, 2008 3:03 PM GMT
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PupDog saidIts ludicrous to associate the free social behavior of coming out with getting drunk, and certainly the pattern of getting drunk, which is what so many gay men do. So many men in Dallas develop not only dysfunctional drinking patters from it but dysfunctional social patterns also. OUCH! from someone in Dubai<3 |
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Apr 27, 2008 3:11 PM GMT
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Apr 27, 2008 3:13 PM GMT
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It's not really a question of which is Better
it's more a question of what's Easier
when you want to have fun out with friends that's different
but when you're horny...sorry for bein so blunt?but it's easier to simply turn on the computer
I agree with javamanbars are going to have to change to draw men back in
when I walk into a bar and smell the same old mix of cigarettes and stale beer I'll pass
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Apr 27, 2008 3:15 PM GMT
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There are no gay bars in Vermont, and I'm not sure if anyone really misses them. For me, creating and developing other kinds of community for myself and other like-minded gay men is pretty important. I think these feelings naturally reach out into the local area and create that 'mixed' scene reality that people seem to be talking about. I live in communal living situation with other gays/queers - when we do 'go out' we bring the community with us - and seem to attract other like-minded people. I think a lot of gay people across the country feel isolated - the internet doesn't really help - but it can make information exchange faster and easier. What if we really took the lead - look beyond bars - towards new ways of living/playing together that involve intentional community (not 'gay community' - this does not really exist!), but real community: sharing of resources, helping each other, etc... I'm part of a radical faerie community here that attracts a lot of regional gays, trans etc.. to the local area here.. it's called Destiny http://www.faeriecampdestiny.org It's a place, but also a way of living/ working / connecting/ even partying that's really rubbing off on the local area and contributing to the larger community in important ways. It's really only active in the summer, but its effects reach out to the locals. A lot of us live and work in the area, and socializing is pretty mixed and laid-back. If something like Destiny was important to more gay people across the country, I think people would feel less alone, more connected, have more fun etc. The basic ideas: living/working towards common goals, supporting each other, being more in harmony with nature, helping others... are something everyone can relate to - but it requires thinking outside the box. |
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Apr 27, 2008 3:49 PM GMT
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I think you guys are missing the point of the article. It's not that gay bars are up and shutting down, simply that the bars are changing focus and modernizing with the times. There will always be "gay themed" establishments, be it bars or clubs or coffee shops or whatever. The point of the article is that the old standard of the gay bar as a social haven for gay people is being replaced by a more open atmosphere. The article is right in stating that "Generation X people and Generation Y people are less concerned about gay-exclusive socialization, and they're more interested in a more-diverse environment." However, these places are still very gay friendly and in a sense the new "gay bars." The one local gay bar here recently moved to a new location and has greatly diversified. It's not a showtune slingin' drag show bar, but rather a more hip, modern restaurant/lounge similar to what would be found in the "hetero" Arena District (a nightlife rich area). Is it still predominantly gay? Absolutely. But, young gay people want to hang out with their social circle at the bar, and increasingly a young gay man's social circle is very mixed. Straight men and women, other gay men and women, everything. I have straight male friends that enjoy going to the "gay bar" with me. These people are very open and inviting and "cool", not minding at all being in a very gay friendly establishment, simply coming for the fun atmosphere. So no, it's not like gay bars are just up and shutting their doors, they're just not the old gay bar of times past.
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Apr 27, 2008 4:17 PM GMT
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I like more mixed environments but I must say I do find the idea of only-mixed bars in major cities like New York quite troubling. On occasion I like going to a place and knowing that every one in the place is gay and while I don't mind having straight people in gay bars, I want to keep some spots as gay as possible. I'm sure there will always be a few gay bars and hopefully if the standard is being raised so high as to close some of them down, they will start playing more interesting music and fewer Christina Aguilera remixes.
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Apr 27, 2008 7:18 PM GMT
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Workable Proxies for Gay BarsPlease add to this list.My preference is more for bars and clubs that are mixed (for all of the two nights a year I go to bars and clubs), with the occasional party or gathering that is mostly gay. But with the demise of so many gay bars, and with substitutes having yet to emerge, it's good to have a way of creating your own ad hoc gay bar/gathering. Here are a couple of resources I've used with good results. In places where no gay bars are convenient, www.Meetup.com is a good resource for setting up gatherings. You post the event and whoever wants to show up does. You can do a similar thing via broadcasts to organized groups or gay members in your area on www.FaceBook.com and www.MySpace.com.
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Apr 27, 2008 7:20 PM GMT
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Chewey_Delt saidOkay, so this is an NPR story so it didn't actually have that title. I just couldn't help myself--I'm a lover of bad puns.
Gay bars adjusting to a new reality
Fortune Magazine's recent list of 10 businesses facing extinction includes record stores, crop dusting, telemarketing and . . . gay bars? That one caught our eye because gay business in general is booming. Stacey Vanek-Smith checked it out. I know this isn't quite the sentiments you were expecting but YES, YES Yes Finally they'll be gone  I Hate telemarketers with a passion! |
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Apr 27, 2008 7:41 PM GMT
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jprichva> I can't imagine all of this.
Then you might not believe that they don't roll up the sidewalks on Main St at 6pm anymore, either! Or the flurry of construction between the Power Center and the hill dorms for the natural sciences initiative. Just this past year they tore down the Frieze Building and are constructing North Quad. Meantime, behind Bursley, a private dorm is being built to house 1,000 students. I'm thinking this may add some night life on Plymouth Road.
Then there's the $226M stadium reconstruction project. No wonder Athletic Director Bill Martin jokes about every available crane in the state being on campus.
Don't worry, popular eateries such as the Brown Jug and Angelos persist (but not Drakes).
Javaman9999> There's a lot about real life interaction that you don't get online. I think the gay-bar market is still there and will always be there.
Agreed, but I think I'd like to see the real-life interaction focused not only in the gay bars.
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Apr 27, 2008 9:02 PM GMT
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I remember years ago when Pasadena (CA) had three marvelous bars; each catering to a completely different clientele. It was great! You could choose which bar you wanted to visit based on your mood for the evening. Now, there is only one left, and it has merged into a mixture of the three.
All of the bars slowly started garnering a straight clientele because as they said, ”The Gay clubs play better music than the straight clubs.” And that was fine, but there were some of us that preferred the solely gay clientele. It made it easier to know who to hit on. So many of my friends like that left the bar scene, did so not because of a business cycle or economic reasons, but so they wouldn’t keep hitting on the straight guys. On the gay pages, they are guaranteed that they know exactly what the guy is looking for.
I on the other hand, slowed my visits, due to lack of energy for dancing, the loss of my beloved 6-pack, and a partner of 17 years that I now have to coordinate schedules with.
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Apr 28, 2008 5:39 AM GMT
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warrior_poet63 said[quote][cite]TallGWMvballer said[/cite]Why do you have to Drink (alcohol) to meet people or have a good time? Thanks for the life advice via rhetorical question. The topic was about the Internet and "gay bars." Bars, where drinking is their business (and the norm). I'm not sure if it was assumed safe to stereotype the speaker as an alcoholic bar-fly or an immature juvenile, but it seems a little condescending to take what was said out of context and apply it so broadly as to encompass drinking as a necessary requirement to "have a good time." [/quote] It was not condescending but rather a point to show that there are alternatives to drinking in order to meet people and enjoy yourself. Keeping the idea alive that one MUST be drinking or doing drugs to be able to enjoy yourself and that being high is a prerequisite to any social activity is what I am challenging and hoping that at least some will think about that point. |
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Apr 28, 2008 4:13 PM GMT
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I'm the "normal" straight-acting gay guy, not into the gay scene. But, when I was in my mid 20s I try to be a part of the "gay culture", going to bars, dancing and hoping to meet new people. It was a way, I thought, of being a part of something. However, too soon did I realized that most of the gay men (and I want to make clear that I'm talking about Puerto Rico) were mostly looking for sex. There was no interest in knowing each other, having a beer, dancing, just having simple, basic fun.
Gay men (in Puerto Rico) are too concerned with fashion, their image. It's not that I'm ugly and couldn't get laid. But I believe I'm more than a penis with two legs. it's nice to be like, but it nicer to meet people, talk, arrange a date for a movie, treating people like humans and not as simple objects of desires. So since the main point of going clubbing was to get laid, I stopped going. But, I'm still hoping to meet a normal, simple, masculine, guy.
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Apr 29, 2008 5:06 AM GMT
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It sucks that the Abbey(in LA) is st8 now. It used to be so much fun
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Apr 29, 2008 12:54 PM GMT
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