FORUMS > Dating & Relationships Forum Rules

... they want sex all the time.

I need at least 48 hours notice to get the engines revved up, and the request should preferably be in writing.

I'm going back to bed.

Well if younger means under 21, then I would say a lot of them like rap music. Most of it I cannot listen to.

I also find that really young guys can be pretty self-absorbed, I was at that age. It is due to a lack of maturity and not knowing where your life is going. You have a tendency to think that anything to do with you is the most important thing in the world, and can't understand why others don't feel the same way.

The sex all the time part is not restricted to ones age, there are guys in their 30's and 40's that are the same way!

So who's complaining? My guy is 21 and he has a brain as well as a ??????

They are emotional flakes and their television taste is no better than their music taste. MTV Pimp My Ride yuck! As far as sex goes, I'm the one who is always ready to go, but he is the one who can go and go and go, and its downright embarrassing to say... baby, it just aint hapening again.

You see the trouble with sad old guys is they themselves were the "young" generation of the babyboomers who adopted a too serious for fun attitude and no one can stand being around listening to them complaining about everything for more than 5 mins


Now they're just all alone wandering round Abercrombie and Fitch with their hands over their ears looking for the shotguns to off themselves.

For many (not all) of them, it's their sense of absolute certainty in their beliefs. I find it hard to talk to young guys about insecurities or ambiguity or uncertainty. You bust open your heart and they respond with some cliche like "You shouldn't care what people think" or "You have to live for what's important to you," without understanding that, first, I understand this a lot better than they do, and second, part of my understanding is an awareness that you can't maintain meaningful work or personal relationships without caring what other people think, and third, that they themselves care more about what people think than they themselves even realize yet.

(The "You shouldn't care what other people think" is just an example." Kids have a multitude of untested Oprah-style slogans that they're just beginning to explore).

This isn't a slam against kids. It's a process we have to go through. Age isn't just a number: Maturity comes from applying reflection to experience, and that takes time.

Of course, that's what makes these kids irresistible, too. Spending an evening with a happy, clear-eyed, confident puppy can be a delight. Even if you know he's going to whole-heartedly try on three or four new life philosophies in the next couple years.

nah yuo are just a bunch of jaded old farts thats forgotten what its like to have the spirit of youth thats all

HEY! A week ago I was in a full-on bear costume, pole-dancing on a cruise ship (not to mention the gladiator outfit and the loincloth made out of sarongs)! Don't ya'll be throwing ME shade, bfg1!

The trouble with younger guys is...that they're guys. Humans. And thus fallible, just like everyone else.

There is a lot to be said for youthful enthusiasm.

MSUBioNerd saidThe trouble with younger guys is...that they're guys. Humans. And thus fallible, just like everyone else.

True ... the others are talking like old men who always have something against the young guys and their taste in music/TV/blah blah ... you all were young before .. right??

AMT87 saidYou see the trouble with sad old guys is they themselves were the "young" generation of the babyboomers who adopted a too serious for fun attitude and no one can stand being around listening to them complaining about everything for more than 5 mins

Now they're just all alone wandering round Abercrombie and Fitch with their hands over their ears looking for the shotguns to off themselves.

Proving that you can be an idiot at any age.

Squarejaw saidHEY! A week ago I was in a full-on bear costume, pole-dancing on a cruise ship (not to mention the gladiator outfit and the loincloth made out of sarongs)! Don't ya'll be throwing ME shade, bfg1!

yeh but like me you are past the vigour of youth and more into the realms of senility

Squarejaw saidHEY! A week ago I was in a full-on bear costume, pole-dancing on a cruise ship (not to mention the gladiator outfit and the loincloth made out of sarongs)! Don't ya'll be throwing ME shade, bfg1!

Were you on vacation or working?

True but someone had to jump in and defend the young population from all these stereotypes. Rap music and reality TV are nothing more than oxymorons



I may be an idiot but at least I'll more than likely grow out of it

AMT87 said
I may be an idiot but at least I'll more than likely grow out of it

Well, good luck with that.

Some of you are really harsh! Why reinstate stigma and possibly introduce new ones on young gays?

And some of you, EWW.. Maybe most the "young guys" you know, do behave in such a way. But that is a result of you never getting the chance to know those who behave and think otherwise, because they are the ones that know better than to dedicate time towards negative, narrow minded men with foul inner-beauty such as yourself.

I will let my fellow younger guys know.

Thank you for informing us.

Squarejaw saidHEY! A week ago I was in a full-on bear costume, pole-dancing on a cruise ship (not to mention the gladiator outfit and the loincloth made out of sarongs)! Don't ya'll be throwing ME shade, bfg1!

SJ- This post is useless without picturesInquiring minds want to know!

Squarejaw saidOf course, that's what makes these kids irresistible, too. Spending an evening with a happy, clear-eyed, confident puppy can be a delight. Even if you know he's going to whole-heartedly try on three or four new life philosophies in the next couple years.

not to mention, fall in and out of love every 15 minutes, forgetting that there is another person who is the other "half" of that love diad.

I agree that age and maturity don't necessarily proceed at the same pace. I know 30 and 40 year olds that are still as mature as an 18 y.o., and I know 20-somethings that have gotten past most or all of the mercurial swings.

AMT87 saidTrue but someone had to jump in and defend the young population from all these stereotypes. Rap music and reality TV are nothing more than oxymorons



I may be an idiot but at least I'll more than likely grow out of it

Rap music and Reality TV may be oxymorons, but they are popular oxymorons!

GHoSTa said[quote][cite]MSUBioNerd said[/cite]The trouble with younger guys is...that they're guys. Humans. And thus fallible, just like everyone else.

True ... the others are talking like old men who always have something against the young guys and their taste in music/TV/blah blah ... you all were young before .. right?? [/quote]

Touchy, touchy not to mention an uncalled for put down of old men! I have nothing against young guys, I just would not want to date one or sleep with one. Any time I say hello to young gay guys either on the internet or at a gay organization, many think "this guy is a pervert trying to get into my pants". Ah nice try, but the thought of me having sex with a guy young enough to be my son is a big turn off.

As for being an old man, well not really, but then again I like old men unlike most people in Western society. I find them interesting to talk to. There is something about having a lot of life experiences that makes a conversation much more engaging.

AMT87 saidYou see the trouble with sad old guys is they themselves were the "young" generation of the babyboomers who adopted a too serious for fun attitude and no one can stand being around listening to them complaining about everything for more than 5 mins


Now they're just all alone wandering round Abercrombie and Fitch with their hands over their ears looking for the shotguns to off themselves.

Sad old guys? Talking about a stereotype. I don't think I have ever been happier. I find it is the younger guys on this website that seem so depressed! And I have only been to A&F once in my life thank heavens.

jbedwards said

Sad old guys? Talking about a stereotype. I don't think I have ever been happier. I find it is the younger guys on this website that seem so depressed! And I have only been to A&F once in my life thank heavens.

Sad as in pathetic rather than depressed. In a sort of modern day "Hey you kids gets off my lawn" type of mentality


Although for the Prozac generation I do know an awful lot of depressed people

Thanks, that clarifies things. What you describe is what I call an "anal-retentive" personality. Scary thing is I have met some young people that have this personality trait!

AMT87, just wait 'til you get our own lawn!

(damn kids, grumble, grumble)

Ah well, I agree with the falling in and out of love... though I've never had a serious relationship to speak of, so I don't know other than a few, brief flings which didn't work (because of time, distance, availability, etc...)

I am less experienced (in the world, in love, in general) than the more "mature" gentlemen. However, I don't think that I am any less mature. I can be immature with friends around my age, but I guess I prefer guys a bit older than me, for whatever reason. I would also say I'm a mature person for my age (which is why some guys around my age aren't very attractive to me).

I dunno, when most people say hi to me, I was raised thats its polite to do the small-talk thing (something my mother does very well).

I guess what I'm trying to say is... I feel young guys get generalized too much and we don't get a fair shake from you older guys... We're all not big sunglass wearing, mercurial, slutty, and impolite bitches... heh

Young guys, this forum was started out as tongue in cheek not to be taken literally! My initial response was certainly not 100% serious. But some of the responses I have seen so far from the under 25 crowd have unwittedly proven my point about young guys being a bit on the self-centred side of things! Talking about irony!

So chill and have a bit of fun with it!

The only thing that really bothers me about some younger guys is an willingness to explore any music or film that isn't of their era.

Of course, it also bothers me when guys my age and older stop listening to anything that came out after they turned 25 and assume everything new sucks.

Interesting I've always thought of anal-retentive as a Monica from friends type of personality.

Lawn? with property prices rising like they are my 8 square foot allocation of space might fit a window box( provided I can take out a second mortgage for the window)

Notice no ones disagreeing with the original statement just the bunch of stereotypes that followed on from it

redheadguy said... they want sex all the time...

LMAO - And this is a problem?

redheadguy said

... they want sex all the time...


My problem is to find younger guy who is like that. You be surprise some younger guys dont have a stamina like us older guys. Some of them suffer from those those nasty disease like ...early withdrawal, not hard enough, lack of experience..... Its take a special kinda of younger men to satisfies an older sex pevert like me.

Sounds like were stereotyping young guys here, shouldn't we be trying to stop stereotypes?

I like young guys myself, not all are immature or self absorbed. Some are less self absorbed than some guys in their 40's and older. I have found some to be more mature in some ways than older guys. As for the sex, I hope they are ready to go go go all the time, I am.

Stop complaining, find something positive to talk about.

This sounds like nonsense! (popular insult where my parents come from:wink

You can't expect a younger generation to behave like yours because they have simply have an entriely different experience than your own.

Personally, I'm more worried about the guys my age who would go with a much-older guy like that. When I get messages from 40+ people I just think, "Aww, man... why only old people?

lol

AMT87 saidSad as in pathetic rather than depressed. In a sort of modern day "Hey you kids gets off my lawn" type of mentality

Well, GET the hell of my lawn, ya brat.

Timberoo said
Of course, it also bothers me when guys my age and older stop listening to anything that came out after they turned 25 and assume everything new sucks.

I stopped listening to the radio when the Ramones were current.

Not ALL young guys are bad, y'know.

Maturity is second nature to me.

I think this thread has morphed into something the original poster didn't intend, but that said, here are my thoughts:

If I have any trouble with any age group, it's mine (which most everyone here would consider the older group). Here's why. . .

So many of them seem so set in their ways;

Many appear to be stunted by a generalized anger and hostility toward life and people. I don't consider that "mature" at all;

Some don't seem to think clearly and I sometimes wonder, seriously, if their brains have begun to calcify;

I get so tired of dealing with people who aren't able to remember ANYTHING;

They're out of shape, don't take care of themselves and seem to have no energy (doesn't apply to the guys on this board LOL);

They rely on experience to make judgments, which is fine -- except when they fail to learn the details of a specific problem before offering an opinion. That's not relying on experience, that's just someone who's too lazy to think in the present;

They drink too much. Too many are alcoholics;

Most wouldn't take even a moment of their time to mentor a younger person. In fact, in the workplace, they go out of their way to screw them over and seem disdainful of anyone younger than them. Not nice. I still remember -- vividly -- all the crap I had to take in my 20s from my "superiors," then in their 40s and 50s, who were clearly inferior (see all of the above points).

I emphasize this doesn't apply to everyone in the older age group, but it sure seems to cover a lot of them.

I sometimes have difficulty not pressing the old fogey button, especially when 20-somethings are lecturing me about the worthlessness of my 15-year relationship because it is open.

But I find the temptation to sound the alarm fades rapidly if I take a moment to recall my own mental state during my 20s. This usually makes the young person annoying me suddenly look like a beacon of sanity.

For example, I get extremely annoyed when a young'un starts bashing other gay men for deviating from what he perceives as normal (usually stereotypical straight) behavior. Then I think: "Well, at least he didn't go to the extreme of hiding out in a marriage for 7 years like I did."

I'm also mindful of the fact that the attempt to rescue our democracy from the mindlessly corrupt Republicans is being spearheaded by young people. People of my generation have mainly sat by with their hands covering their ears, eyes, mouths and wallets.

I do not want to be sexual or romantic with anyone in his 20s. I tried that five years ago and it was one of the worst experiences of my adult life. I felt like I was re-enacting "Suddenly Last Summer" or "Death in Venice." I am not good at reliving the drama of my 20s, but I have hot older friends (with Viagra, defibrillation paddles and oxygen tanks) to whom I can refer anyone.

Nothing wrong with young guys. I was there once. Funny thing is is now that I am 38, I'm attracted to guys my age, yet guys my age want young 20 somethings. When I was in my 20s, I was only interested in guys around my age then too. Why then would guys my age or older feel that younger guys now would be any different?

Squarejaw said You bust open your heart and they respond with some cliche like "You shouldn't care what people think" or "You have to live for what's important to you," without understanding that, first, I understand this a lot better than they do, and second, part of my understanding is an awareness that you can't maintain meaningful work or personal relationships without caring what other people think, and third, that they themselves care more about what people think than they themselves even realize yet.

I'm sure people consider me "young" and it's all relative. But when I've been talking to many close friends about stuff, what I often hear is "You shouldn't care what people think about you". Now the funny thing is, ALL of my friends are older than me, average age probably about 35.

I've seen just as many "old" people do many of the things listed in this thread. The only thing that "young" people have is a lack of experience, so how about rather than bashing us, you teach us.

MisterT saidSounds like were stereotyping young guys here, shouldn't we be trying to stop stereotypes?

I like young guys myself, not all are immature or self absorbed. Some are less self absorbed than some guys in their 40's and older. I have found some to be more mature in some ways than older guys. As for the sex, I hope they are ready to go go go all the time, I am.

Stop complaining, find something positive to talk about.

The originator of this thread was being funny! And frankly I would be a bit worried about a guy at the age of 20 who was not a bit self-absorbed considering how important some of the decisions they make at that age are. It is not meant as a put down but a statement about the stage of life they are going through.

If you're not egocentric and vain at 20, then god help you when you are at 40!

Lol, geez.. I love how you type-cast all of the younger dudes. Yea, I know there are alot of them out there who are just like what ya'll are saying. But there are also alot of them who aren't. I could say the same thing about the older men.. do you know how many messages I get a day from guys who are way out of my age range.. and all they want is sex.. the tables can be turned right back on alot of things. Don't be so quick to judge a person by their age, or anything else by that matter.

I am young and is nothing for the most part, like anything I have been described. I would also like to mention that generalizations to me are but redundant musings; I'd always rather we talk facts and statistics before drawing absolute conclusions.

That said, I am honestly not going to listen to Frank Sinatra over (drum roll please)... Celine Dion, or be torn between renting Gone With the Wind and say, the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I have no qualms against older men. I would even marry one if my family were open to it.

Youth is wasted on the young. It is one of the great ironies of our existence that the very time in our lives when we need the most guidance and counsel is the very time when we think we know everything, and therefore we don't listen to anyone's advice...

I have never dated a guy a whole lot younger than me. I don't seek them out really, but I guess the ones that have sought me out like older guys or seem to be more mature than other young guys.

I do tend to be like an older brother type with younger guys and try to give them advice. I think I started doing that when I lost my only younger brother. Anyway, I am flattered when a younger cute guy wants to talk to me or even is attracted to me.

I like talking to people that have different perspectives in general, but every once and a while when I think I have seen it all or know a lot, a younger guys teaches me something new or reminds me of something I have forgotten.

I think life would be a little boring if I couldn't interact with guys both younger and older than me. I try to complement young guys on this site that seem to have a noble heart (or just need encouragement) .. I admire young guys that have their shit together.

ActiveAndFitI admire young guys that have their shit together.

And I'm totally suspicious of them.

Older/Younger is not the question for me - it's Mature/Immature - and while there might be a correlation, it's a weak one at best.

We're fortunate to know a number of guys in their 20's who are well-grounded, well-educated, and a hell of a lot of fun.

We also know a number of guys in their 40's & 50's who are baggage-ridden and utterly clueless.

We'll take the man of any legal age who knows how to handle himself over a man who has calendar years to his credit, but learned nothing from them.

- J.

where to start...

An intresting subject, and I guess I could speak on it because of my year long relationship with my 40 year old boyfriend (I'm 20). So he can get annoyed by my "Life is my oyster" thing, and I get annoyed by how he doesnt follow his dreams to be an architect, and he stays in corporate America for the money.... I am bright eyed and optomistic. I believe I can do anything I set my mind to. That is probably the biggest difference between us. Although he likes to breath fresh life through me, and I like to learn things from him.

gosh, so loaded.

what if a younger guy posted the topic of... "the trouble with older guys is..." SCARY! you guys would probably rip us a new one. do i think there is a problem with older men, of course not. i've dated a few 40+... who both had great sex drives...i dated a 20 something who had no drive at all.

The trouble with younger guys is...

There's just not enough of them to go around.

The troubles with younger guys (even though I am young there will always be someone younger) are that they always use hyperboles, like always, you know, use cliche words like "Like", they never seem to understand sarcasm and irony, and lastly, the never seem to finish their

The trouble with younger guys is that younger guys are often desired by the elder. That comment isn't meant to be rude or smart-assed in any way. It's just an observation I make with no hint of malice. Older guys don't seem to go for older guys for one reason or another and younger guys do the same thing in their age group as well. There's trouble on both sides of the age spectrum when it comes to "wants" and "desires".

the good:
very eager to please and rise above the challenge e.g. to a 20something: "my last boyfriend who was 15 years older than you but he can come twice in an hour" of course you can just assume what he proved exceedingly

the bad:
they think they know everything about life just so they can prove they can level with you

the ugly:
asks to borrow some cool stuff from you and never really return it back intact or at all

The problem is with "The problem is..." posts is that there are good and bad with EVERYTHING

yeah...some young guys are inexperienced and randy
but ain't that part of the fun?
I know some pretty ancient guys who act like they're less than 20...some good and some bad too

There is nothing wrong with younger guys, they are wonderful, we should all worship the ground they walk on, their music is the best, their fashion is the best, they are always right (especially about global warming), they are great in bed, all have dicks to die for, etc., etc, etc..

They can even tell when guys over 40 are being satirical.

In response to the young guy A & F in an earlier post:

Not all young guys spend their time wasting away in a shop that has prices that demand a brand insignia. Personnally, I have a closet full of Jos A. Bank, which I consider many many times more comfortable and of quality more then A & F will ever be. I guess that's also because on the other side of my closet I have a few sets of ACU's which I wear on occasion as well.

In response to alot of other posts concerning younger guys:

Life experiences do account for a gain of maturity and a different life outlook. I dont know many other gay guys that do what I do so I am probably slightly different than most other 28 year olds.

I have to say that the music and tv comments are pretty weak. Are you serious? Discrediting someone because they listen to a variety of music and not one that "you" believe to be suitable is, well, for lack of a better word, unbelievable. Most of my friends are older than me and I cant stand some 80's Rock music, they cant stand some of the mainstream stuff of today, such as Linkin Park and Three Doors Down and so on, so we listen to Country music as a compromise when we are all together. Wow! Who could have thought that long road trips could be enjoyable with guys that have 10 to 15 years between them?

redheadguy said... they want sex all the time.

I need at least 48 hours notice to get the engines revved up, and the request should preferably be in writing.

I'm going back to bed.

Thank you redheadguy for starting a humourous thread, pity most people missed the humour!

Oh well back to the other forums.

R6Bud saidIn response to the young guy A & F in an earlier post:

Not all young guys spend their time wasting away in a shop that has prices that demand a brand insignia. Personnally, I have a closet full of Jos A. Bank, which I consider many many times more comfortable and of quality more then A & F will ever be. I guess that's also because on the other side of my closet I have a few sets of ACU's which I wear on occasion as well.

In response to alot of other posts concerning younger guys:

Life experiences do account for a gain of maturity and a different life outlook. I dont know many other gay guys that do what I do so I am probably slightly different than most other 28 year olds.

I have to say that the music and tv comments are pretty weak. Are you serious? Discrediting someone because they listen to a variety of music and not one that "you" believe to be suitable is, well, for lack of a better word, unbelievable. Most of my friends are older than me and I cant stand some 80's Rock music, they cant stand some of the mainstream stuff of today, such as Linkin Park and Three Doors Down and so on, so we listen to Country music as a compromise when we are all together. Wow! Who could have thought that long road trips could be enjoyable with guys that have 10 to 15 years between them?

I'm with this guy 90% ...

R6Bud saidIn response to the young guy A & F in an earlier post:

Has someone been stealing my initials again?

The trouble with young guys is....

They wear feetie pajamas and won't clean up their Legos.

The whole thing is because of a simple generation gap. I'm pretty sure people where having the same conversations when you guys where younger too. Thats just how the cycle goes. As far and young guys not knowing what they are going to do in life I still see people who are in the late thirties and forties who do not know what they are doing. Its not really a young/old person problem as much as it is just an individual problem.

It's strange how this thread has developed. I never intended it to be an attack on young guys it was more a statement of the way I felt about my sex drive compared to the young man that I had sex with the other night. Oh well...

* We're getting more intelligent than older guys!

ROFL

Smart Ass!

R6Bud saidIn response to the young guy A & F in an earlier post:

Not all young guys spend their time wasting away in a shop that has prices that demand a brand insignia. Personnally, I have a closet full of Jos A. Bank, which I consider many many times more comfortable and of quality more then A & F will ever be. I guess that's also because on the other side of my closet I have a few sets of ACU's which I wear on occasion as well.

I thinking more along the lines of older people who refuse to move with the times and are intimidated by change A&F is just a rather good example of that rather than anything about the quality or price of a particular brand of clothes...

BTW I'm not aware of Jos A or ACU please explain?

You don't want to have sex w/ me then. I've become like the Energizer bunny and I'm stone cold sober when I'm having sex too.

I love wearing out the youngins.

redheadguy said... they want sex all the time.

I need at least 48 hours notice to get the engines revved up, and the request should preferably be in writing.

I'm going back to bed.

hey! theres not one person here who defended the young guys to an extent. I'm kinda mad at this. i dont always want sex, if its availible ill take it! lol and second the reason were not mature enough for you like 30 year olds is cause...your 30! You have like 20 years on us. So stop complaining about young guys, if you dont like them shoot for someone older? blah blah blah <3 younger guys, <3 older guys everyone should...

I concur. Younger guys are too high maintenance.

Gregg saidI concur. Younger guys are too high maintenance.

I dunno, some of them are cute and mature and wise for their age .. even the birds, cats, and horseshoe crabs flock to them for advice!

ActiveAndFit said[quote][cite]Gregg said[/cite]I concur. Younger guys are too high maintenance.

I dunno, some of them are cute and mature and wise for their age .. even the birds, cats, and horseshoe crabs flock to them for advice![/quote]

Thanks bud!

I hate stereotypes. I proudly consider myself mature and wise well beyond my years. Age ain't nothing but a number!

jbedwards saidWell if younger means under 21, then I would say a lot of them like rap music. Most of it I cannot listen to.

I also find that really young guys can be pretty self-absorbed, I was at that age. It is due to a lack of maturity and not knowing where your life is going. You have a tendency to think that anything to do with you is the most important thing in the world, and can't understand why others don't feel the same way.

The sex all the time part is not restricted to ones age, there are guys in their 30's and 40's that are the same way!

I 2nd that!

danielryan said ActiveAndFit said : Gregg said: I concur. Younger guys are too high maintenance. :: I dunno, some of them are cute and mature and wise for their age .. even the birds, cats, and horseshoe crabs flock to them for advice!
Thanks bud!
I hate stereotypes. I proudly consider myself mature and wise well beyond my years. Age ain't nothing but a number!

I forgot to mention infants, twin sisters, and brown dogs flock to them for wise counsel too!

And again, I say:

Lol, geez.. I love how you type-cast all of the younger dudes. Yea, I know there are alot of them out there who are just like what ya'll are saying. But there are also alot of them who aren't. I could say the same thing about the older men.. do you know how many messages I get a day from guys who are way out of my age range.. and all they want is sex.. the tables can be turned right back on alot of things. Don't be so quick to judge a person by their age, or anything else by that matter.


I can understand how you feel about "younger" guys.. but like I said, don't be so quick to judge "us" all. In my opinion, like I said above... if I were to base my opinion on all the "older" guys, ie 30-50, that message me to see my cock, or sex talk, I could say that all of you "older" guys are the ones that want sex all the time. So stop judging people because of their age.. it's just a number, geez.

I recognise the humourous nature of this thread, but I feel the need to reply in seriousness anyway.

Ageism, like any other -ism (sexism, racism etc.), in a nutshell, sucks. While part of the demographic of 'younger' guys may be high-maintenance, immature, self-absorbed and, yes, they may listen to rap music (Why? I wish I could tell you), but the other part of 'younger' guys are for the most part mature, caring, kind and, if like me, have excellent taste in music and television

I'm 18. For most that's young, I mean, in America the drinking age is 21. In Australia, which I will use as my example because I'm more familiar with the culture, the broadly-used legal age is 18. One is officially viewed as an adult at 18 here. In the same way, any 'older' guy is also viewed as an adult. The only barrier then is personality, unless you're very much narrow-minded and automatically disregard anyone of a minority different to your own. This is effectively what ageism does - dismisses people based on age. Which kinda sucks. It's the same theory behind dismisses people based on race or gender, a point which I feel the need to reiterate. Just because someone isn't 30 or 40 or whatever doesn't mean they are incapable of maturity. Just because someone isn't the same age as you doesn't mean they aren't as mature, as intelligent, or as experienced as you. A little while ago I was chatting with an older guy about politics, and I was being patronised as though I had no ability to even comprehend any political discussion. I eventually had to ask him to stop condescending me because I couldn't stand being spoken to as though I had the intellectual capacity of a particularly ignorant 13 year old.

I find that there's a very unfair view of 'youth'. Just because I'm not older than I am doesn't mean I can't watch the news every night. It doesn't mean that I don't pay attention to current affairs. It doesn't mean I am incapable of a normal relationship, or sexual restraint, or emotional restraint too for that matter. It doesn't mean I can't make decisions, or that my opinion should be disregarded. It's a problem, admittedly, only spurred by the media because you're rarely going to see a story on the news about an early 20-something who has written a thesis which will revolutionise some political system, or some other excellent idea, you're always going to see the stories about youth gangs, binge drinking (something which, in Australia especially right now, it's quite a hot topic - I've yet to see one report where an 'expert' opinion has been used to point out that binge-drinking isn't a societal issue confined solely to youth), falling literacy rates and all that other absolute tosh that comes with it. It makes me angry. And I apologise for the wall of text, but I felt the need to vent.

Squarejaw saidFor many (not all) of them, it's their sense of absolute certainty in their beliefs. I find it hard to talk to young guys about insecurities or ambiguity or uncertainty. You bust open your heart and they respond with some cliche like "You shouldn't care what people think" or "You have to live for what's important to you," without understanding that, first, I understand this a lot better than they do, and second, part of my understanding is an awareness that you can't maintain meaningful work or personal relationships without caring what other people think, and third, that they themselves care more about what people think than they themselves even realize yet.

(The "You shouldn't care what other people think" is just an example." Kids have a multitude of untested Oprah-style slogans that they're just beginning to explore).

This isn't a slam against kids. It's a process we have to go through. Age isn't just a number: Maturity comes from applying reflection to experience, and that takes time.

Of course, that's what makes these kids irresistible, too. Spending an evening with a happy, clear-eyed, confident puppy can be a delight. Even if you know he's going to whole-heartedly try on three or four new life philosophies in the next couple years.

Though I fall into the 20-something category, I wholeheartedly agree with SJ. In my work I constantly deal with college freshman, and I notice this trait. They challenge time-tested methods without adequate knowledge of what they're contesting. They fippantly judge others according to narrow moral constructs. And they think that the immediate present has a huge influence over their future. They're ignorant to the complexity of life, as most of them have had the path of their lives dictated to them since birth. They don't realize how easy it is to formulate beliefs (and later, change them on a dime) when those beliefs don't have to be tested in the real world. Few people at that age have had the multitude and degree of life experiences that test and perhaps morph your views of self and the world around you.

Dealing with young adults makes me want to pound my head into a wall. I don't attach a good/bad value to these behaviors and ways of thinking. It's simply a part of growing up.

slickguystyle saidThey challenge time-tested methods without adequate knowledge of what they're contesting. They fippantly judge others according to narrow moral constructs. And they think that the immediate present has a huge influence over their future. They're ignorant to the complexity of life, as most of them have had the path of their lives dictated to them since birth. They don't realize how easy it is to formulate beliefs (and later, change them on a dime) when those beliefs don't have to be tested in the real world. Few people at that age have had the multitude and degree of life experiences that test and perhaps morph your views of self and the world around you.

I see little reason to say these behaviors are more than slightly more common in youth than in the populace in general. Almost everything you've said applies equally well to 80% or more of people aged 20-100 as well.

Especially "they flippantly judge others according to their narrow moral constructs," "most of them have had the paths of their lives dictated to them since birth," and "they don't realize how easy it is to formulate beliefs when those beliefs don't have to be tested in the real world." The rest certainly show a higher realization in youth than in adults, and whether it is significantly so is debatable, but the aforementioned qualities I have encountered and do encounter with equal frequency in the crowd that calls itself more mature because it has more age.

My point isn't that youth don't suck, don't get me wrong: it's that people suck in general.

Squarejaw saidFor many (not all) of them, it's their sense of absolute certainty in their beliefs...(The "You shouldn't care what other people think" is just an example." Kids have a multitude of untested Oprah-style slogans that they're just beginning to explore).

One of the most noteworthy postings I've seen on these forums. It's very true.

I can look back and see myself when I was there and I remember that certitude. In my early 20s I was in a business venture with a guy in his late 40s. I had all the necessary gusto but none of the business acumen needed for the job. I saw him as overly pragmatic and pessimistic.

The business was a moderate success but we parted ways before long. Now, looking back at my early-20s self, I would probably see things the way he did. I was an idealistic kid with no sense of fear, no experience with business failure, and no awareness of the odds against me.

That said, I'd still do it again.

I suppose as a young guy I would have to defend our honor or something, but the truth is everything you guys said is true...
I don't know if I do all of that stuff, but the fact is that I can't date boys my age, cuz... most of them are too silly I guess. I like to have fun, but when I have a serious conversation I'd like to talk to a person who has the abilities to carry on an adult conversation and not make dumb jokes all the time.

And young guys (guys my age) are either TOO serious about a relationship and build up some insane future of the two of us together after 4 days or something or they have sex with different partners all the time ... can't settle down, can't commit to only one person and stay with him for some time.
I don't know... I guess age isn't the only factor, but I don't thing I could be pleased with an 18 year old...

Obscenewish: please RETURN the defillibration paddles! My chicken breasts just never cook through without them. I need the protein!

"Young guys can't be serious" is cliche I hope to shatter.

Im as serious as a heart attack.





















lol

Im all for us so called "young ones" defending ourselves, oahh im sick and tired of older so called "wiser" people passing judgements on people in general, but also on young people like as if they didnt grow up and mature with age, themselves. Hypocritical and also biased, is what i call it. And this whole arguement about rap music/blah blah
and people dissing shows on mtv and such, grow up...lets see the crap u would watch on tv or what ever u did when u where our age, and also not all of us watch it.....u make it sound like the masses just watches one show....and one channel....and thats all....like their are other types of young people but the mtv generation....well i guess these people need to go out more and stop hiding under a rock.
Also not all of us are self absorbed and selfish, if you older ones actaully took the time out, to understand us and talk to us, rather than base it on some alcoholic coke sniffing random u met at a bar, then you would understand.....stop with the stereotypes and other generalisations, i mean we could say all old people are stupid and dumb because they dont accept or understand the way we think or the way we percieve things....its all about maturity, and i know alot of people my age who are more mature than most older people i know. Just cause where young doesnt mean we havent experienced life and crap...i mean yes we complain but who doesnt, atleast we build and bridge and get over it....maybe some older people should do the same, life to short 2 get carried away with the small things....

well its late and i have work tomrow, its 2.30 am here in sydney. nite

Get off my lawn meddling kids!

davo89 saidIm all for us so called "young ones" defending ourselves, oahh im sick and tired of older so called "wiser" people passing judgements on people in general,

...said the boy with the upside-down pic....oh, he's in Australia.....nevermind! ....

zimatar saidthey hi-jack threads

HAHA That's right! This is like an open invitation to take over!


What I want to know is how come there are so many older guys who never seem to grow up?
Also, people believe there is a certain age where young men cross over into mature adults? My personal opinion is a lot of this has to do w/ life experiences....

zimatar saidthey hi-jack threads

Hey look a flutterby!

Caslon said[quote][cite]davo89 said[/cite]Im all for us so called "young ones" defending ourselves, oahh im sick and tired of older so called "wiser" people passing judgements on people in general,

...said the boy with the upside-down pic....oh, he's in Australia.....nevermind! .... [/quote]

im sorry "boy", im 19... im an adult, well in Australia i am!!!

davo89 saidIm all for us so called "young ones" defending ourselves, oahh im sick and tired of older so called "wiser" people passing judgements on people in general, but also on young people like as if they didnt grow up and mature with age, themselves. Hypocritical and also biased, is what i call it. And this whole arguement about rap music/blah blah
and people dissing shows on mtv and such, grow up...lets see the crap u would watch on tv or what ever u did when u where our age, and also not all of us watch it.....u make it sound like the masses just watches one show....and one channel....and thats all....like their are other types of young people but the mtv generation....well i guess these people need to go out more and stop hiding under a rock.
Also not all of us are self absorbed and selfish, if you older ones actaully took the time out, to understand us and talk to us, rather than base it on some alcoholic coke sniffing random u met at a bar, then you would understand.....stop with the stereotypes and other generalisations, i mean we could say all old people are stupid and dumb because they dont accept or understand the way we think or the way we percieve things....its all about maturity, and i know alot of people my age who are more mature than most older people i know. Just cause where young doesnt mean we havent experienced life and crap...i mean yes we complain but who doesnt, atleast we build and bridge and get over it....maybe some older people should do the same, life to short 2 get carried away with the small things....

well its late and i have work tomrow, its 2.30 am here in sydney. nite

You will understand everything in about 15 more years lol. Not judging or downing but I and most older guys were like you at 19 to 22. It's just a cycle and the only reason older guys should not say anything is for the simple fact that most likely they were the same way back in the day.

[quote] You will understand everything in about 15 more years lol. Not judging or downing but I and most older guys were like you at 19 to 22. It's just a cycle and the only reason older guys should not say anything is for the simple fact that most likely they were the same way back in the day.[/quote]

What am i 2 understand, im puzzled ...what is all this talk about understanding and only older people have gone through this....what so after 23 im what wiser and more enlightened...age is nothing but a number, its one's maturity and the experiences which they have gone through which allows them 2 understand their world and their surroundings, and yes everyone is currently changing. Im currently studying medical science, and in this field ive learnt alot....i have worked on understanding/profiling, human relationships and the interactions they have with each other, and understanding the basis of their actions, in regards to what and why. I have done some work at a hostel, for mentally/drug related patients, and learning and understanding their story's i have learnt from the mistakes of those so called "wiser" older people, but of course im not generalising all old people, but as young people who will one day control the economics and dynamics of society, we learn from your mistakes and make a informed decision on what to do next.!!!

I think also a big question, is not what wrong with old or young people, but what we can learn from each....i think for both sides, they are misguided by their beliefs and dynamics, which they have learnt through personal experiences...the thing which is lacking is communication in both parties and that what is needed to understand someone.....

well ill shut up now, and it will be good to see what people say.....

I think younger guys are great. I wish I knew how great I was when I was a younger guy, instead of worrying about how I compared to older ones.

The trouble with younger guys is that they can easily make an older guy believe he's the one while, in fact, they are only looking for a father figure or a male role model.

Make sure you detect that as early as possible because the hurt will snowball.

That their flexible enough to wriggle out of the restraints sometimes and then try to press charges.

Some of the most immature, unstable people I've known have been older than me. Let's start with my parents.

I would tend to agree that young people can be strident in their beliefs, yet fickle in holding onto them past a year or so. And young people can also be forgetful of the people who came before them and made living easier for them-- especially in the gay community.

However, I would draw the line at stereotypes of young people as rap-loving sex maniacs who don't give a toss about what anyone over the age of 35 has to say. Surely there are some who fit this bill but is it not the sign of maturity and recognising the complexity of the world to take each person-- young or old-- on a case-by-case basis?

One needn't want a young person for a shag or a relationship. They can be friends, workout partners, work colleagues and a whole other slew of things too. But if a relationship and/or sex is what you're after, I think it really behooves one to try and see past age.

Provided, of course, that the young person isn't a rap-loving sex maniac and the older person isn't a Judy Garland-loving clone... Unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case, good for you. :-)

fabionyc said

Provided, of course, that the young person isn't a rap-loving sex maniac and the older person isn't a Judy Garland-loving clone... Unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case, good for you. :-)

These days you're more likely to get a rap-loving sex-starved older person and a Judy-Garland-loving young guy. LOL

Sedative said[quote][cite]fabionyc said[/cite]

Provided, of course, that the young person isn't a rap-loving sex maniac and the older person isn't a Judy Garland-loving clone... Unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case, good for you. :-)

These days you're more likely to get a rap-loving sex-starved older person and a Judy-Garland-loving young guy. LOL[/quote]

Sweet IRONY!