Sports & Activities
Sex at the Gym: Harmless Fun or Just Plain Wrong?
By E. Dixon
Some days guys go to the gym for a full strength-training and/or cardio workout. On other days, they may only have time for "a Hollywood" (just a steam). Either routine can help them relax. But some gay men say they need more than that to de-stress, which is why they go to the gym not only for a workout, but also a working over. And this "gym sex" is causing a rift at gay gyms between those who point to the rule of "consenting adults," and those who think that sex in the sauna or steam room encroaches on the rights of other people at the gym.
Of course, men having sex in public is nothing new. In the late 1880s in England, after Queen Victoria made sex between men illegal, undercover police hanging out at public toilets started arresting so-called "bog queens" by the hundreds. But in this country, with the demise of bathhouses in the 1980s, and the increasingly more strictly enforced rules about the back rooms and bathrooms at bars, the gym has become the place where some men go to get the quick, anonymous, no-strings-attached sex.
Not surprisingly, managers at the major gym chains unanimously say that the behavior is not permitted, citing health code violations and saying that repeat offenders may have their memberships revoked. But opinions among gay gym members are far more mixed. Jessie from Los Angeles goes to the gym about once a week, says he has sex there just about every other time, and sees nothing wrong with it. It's just an accepted part of the gay gym scene, he thinks, and people shouldn't overreact.
"If I'm with a guy in the steam room and someone else comes in, we try to read his game. If he wants to join us, fine. If not, we just do our thing." When asked if his having gym sex violates the rights of other gym members, he says, "No, they should just ignore it. I know a lot of them have sex in the bathrooms of bars, which I don't, since I don't drink or go to bars, so I think it's sort of hypocritical of them to judge me." He's been nearly caught twice by gym staff, and admits the risk of being caught is part of the thrill.
Other men don't agree. Brian, who works out at a gym in San Francisco four or five times a week, says he doesn't approve of gym sex, although he's more surprised than offended when he witnesses it.
"I go to the gym to work out, not to get turned on," he says. "I think sex at the gym it inappropriate. If I'm in the sauna and there's an orgy going on, it makes me uncomfortable. It's just kind of gross."
However, when pressed, Brian admits he's had sex in the bathrooms of bars two or three times in his life. He points out that it's a more private act, since it occurs behind a locked door and there's no risk of someone else coming in. Also, he admits that alcohol, which is not a factor at the gym, is disinhibiting. "If alcohol were not involved, I don't know if I'd indulge.
"If you're the only two people in the sauna, go ahead and do it." he adds. "But don't expose it to other people."
Others feel even more strongly that gym sex is wrong. "It makes me angry, because it's selfish," says Paul, a marathon runner who also takes yoga classes at his gym. "Part of what I pay for with my membership is the use of the steam room. If it's been closed because people are having unsafe sex in it, that's unfair to me. Besides, I just don't want to be subjected to someone else's sex acts. If you want to have anonymous sex with a stranger, go to a sex club, or pick someone up at a bar and get a hotel room."
One straight man admits he's considered having quick, no-stings-attached sex with guys at his gym, because it can be so hard to get that from women. "But most of the guys at my gym are kind of droopy and flabby," he adds. Which makes one think that maybe if these guys spent more time in the weight room than in the steam room, they'd be in better shape. And, ultimately, isn't that what the gym is for?
Of course, men having sex in public is nothing new. In the late 1880s in England, after Queen Victoria made sex between men illegal, undercover police hanging out at public toilets started arresting so-called "bog queens" by the hundreds. But in this country, with the demise of bathhouses in the 1980s, and the increasingly more strictly enforced rules about the back rooms and bathrooms at bars, the gym has become the place where some men go to get the quick, anonymous, no-strings-attached sex.
Not surprisingly, managers at the major gym chains unanimously say that the behavior is not permitted, citing health code violations and saying that repeat offenders may have their memberships revoked. But opinions among gay gym members are far more mixed. Jessie from Los Angeles goes to the gym about once a week, says he has sex there just about every other time, and sees nothing wrong with it. It's just an accepted part of the gay gym scene, he thinks, and people shouldn't overreact.
"If I'm with a guy in the steam room and someone else comes in, we try to read his game. If he wants to join us, fine. If not, we just do our thing." When asked if his having gym sex violates the rights of other gym members, he says, "No, they should just ignore it. I know a lot of them have sex in the bathrooms of bars, which I don't, since I don't drink or go to bars, so I think it's sort of hypocritical of them to judge me." He's been nearly caught twice by gym staff, and admits the risk of being caught is part of the thrill.
Other men don't agree. Brian, who works out at a gym in San Francisco four or five times a week, says he doesn't approve of gym sex, although he's more surprised than offended when he witnesses it.
"I go to the gym to work out, not to get turned on," he says. "I think sex at the gym it inappropriate. If I'm in the sauna and there's an orgy going on, it makes me uncomfortable. It's just kind of gross."
However, when pressed, Brian admits he's had sex in the bathrooms of bars two or three times in his life. He points out that it's a more private act, since it occurs behind a locked door and there's no risk of someone else coming in. Also, he admits that alcohol, which is not a factor at the gym, is disinhibiting. "If alcohol were not involved, I don't know if I'd indulge.
"If you're the only two people in the sauna, go ahead and do it." he adds. "But don't expose it to other people."
Others feel even more strongly that gym sex is wrong. "It makes me angry, because it's selfish," says Paul, a marathon runner who also takes yoga classes at his gym. "Part of what I pay for with my membership is the use of the steam room. If it's been closed because people are having unsafe sex in it, that's unfair to me. Besides, I just don't want to be subjected to someone else's sex acts. If you want to have anonymous sex with a stranger, go to a sex club, or pick someone up at a bar and get a hotel room."
One straight man admits he's considered having quick, no-stings-attached sex with guys at his gym, because it can be so hard to get that from women. "But most of the guys at my gym are kind of droopy and flabby," he adds. Which makes one think that maybe if these guys spent more time in the weight room than in the steam room, they'd be in better shape. And, ultimately, isn't that what the gym is for?
patrickramey wrote:
haha...i wouldn't even know when i'm being cruised or if i'm cruising someone else...i love to look at different cocks at the gym...but have never had any action
Jun 20 2:51 AM
bigk0013 wrote:
I work as a trainer. I was shocked to hear what happens in the steam room. Wow! Does
this really go on? I'm hearing that it's alot of married men. Probably cause the
lazy spoiled wife doesn't put out. I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't
hear the same from many different people. I do have a problem with it...sort of.
I always wondered why the old guys just love to walk around naked in the locker
room, everywhere with their cocks hanging out...to the sink, on the scale, etc. I'm saying to myself...put on a damn towel - you're not home, but I'm guessing these guys are sporting their meat for a possible pickup??? The only problem I have is that
what if someone else (like me) wants to enjoy the steam room but can't because
a dude is getting his cock sucked next to me? It would be the same if it were
a guy and a girl next to me. I don't want to be relaxing in the steam room with 2
people next to me getting it on (unless I open my towel and get some too).
So every now and then when I go in the locker room and pass the steam room I open the door to see if there's any action. So far I've seen nothing but if I do, hey...get your groove on. I agree it's hot to do it in a public place but it's infringing on others rights to enjoy what they've paid for at the gym. Aren't you guys worried about gettng caught? 2 weeks ago I heard some loud moaning from the steam room and I just walked away LOL!
Nov 28 6:34 AM
FrontRowIn wrote:
I love how the article was closed, a reminder that the gym is for working out as the form of release.
Sep 21 11:07 PM
Heath2977 wrote:
Sure, it is ok to cruise guys in the gym, but if ya wanna hook up, I say take it somewhere else. The last thing I want after a work-out is to walk into the sauna and step in the puddle left in the floor by the guys who just blew their loads on the floor.
Jul 05 8:18 PM
FirefighterBlu3 wrote:
doesn't bother me, just have the courtesy to say "ok" if i say "no"
Dec 06 5:17 PM
rebirth_of_cool wrote:
Sex in the gym is very disrespectful.
Nov 30 3:23 AM
kc415 wrote:
totally harmless fun. getting cruised in the sauna is a total compliment, and great ego boost. I don't go further than looking myself, although I support the freedom of others to get it on as they see fit.
Nov 20 9:21 PM
WoodysBlueDevil wrote:
Sex at home ... not at the gym not in the back of an suv like the guy below said
Nov 16 9:50 PM
spread wrote:
Presumably you've worked up a sweat in the gym anyway, so what's the point of hanging out in the sauna/steamroom? Unless it's the sex that attracts you. Sex in public is simply exhibitionism or bad manners. And a good example of how many men let homophobia run their lives.
Nov 16 5:07 PM
Scott_DC wrote:
Sex at the gym is fine as long as there's nobody else around. Just you and a buddy in the sauna jerking off - that fine and totally hot. But if a third person comes in, I think you'd better cover up, and quick. Some gyms afford the privacy to fool around in the showers or sauna, and some gyms don't. If you could get easily caugh or discovered by other gym members or staff, don't do it. I know I wouldn't risk my gym membership just to bust a nut.
Besides - it's easy enough to find somewhere else to play. Take that hottie back to your place, or hell, take him to the back seat of your SUV ;-}
Nov 16 1:15 PM
mkiel wrote:
I think sex at the gym is really Hot you get to see what the guy really looks like & I'm always very turned on after a good workout. I always work harder if I think I might get lucky in the steam room.
Nov 16 11:46 AM
GTB_ wrote:
yes it come across as hard! I like it, I want u now! but I know I have. but know I found some 1 house walking out hand in hand is better then who the fuck is that coming
and I have left and went home with him.
P.S. but not hand in hand , but 1 day my dreams will come true : ) SWEAT
Nov 16 10:01 AM
Rafale wrote:
Steamroom and sauna are places to relax after sport. I find it hard to relax when you have a man seating next to you with a hard on looking at you and touching himself (or worse, people having sex). Period.
I have no problem if two guys do things when they are alone in the steamroom (and I'd be ready to do it), but once again, please, avoid the show.
I have been surprised to see how many men exhibit their hard ons at the gym (NYSC, supposingly sport-oriented, but...).
And a last advice: when guys are offensive, just look them straight in the eyes and cough: it usually soften any erection :-)
Nov 16 4:43 AM
WorldPhilanthropist wrote:
There is a time and place for everything .... and it is like religion: when you begin imposing those ideas on others without their encouraging it, it is wrong. A gym was designed to provide men a place to work out; not to engage in sex. Although some probably would argue, I don't think I would enjoy walking into a steam room and find even two heterosexuals getting it on any more than two men. But in the gay community, out of desperation is seems like more and more individuals are compromising the rules all out of desperation. But that's just my take on it.
Nov 16 12:53 AM
bignoily wrote:
DAMN BALLY'S ORLANDO IS IT THE NEW CLUBORLANDO!? :)
Nov 16 12:34 AM
Yergs wrote:
Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.
I agree with the straight guy in the article, that if some of the people at my gym (Crunch Fitness) found themselves in the actual GYM part of the facility, they'd be in better shape. I told that to this one old guy. So now I see him on the tread mill. And I called it! He looks better!
Hot gay-boyz gettin it on, YUMM!
Nov 15 11:33 PM
beef wrote:
Hum, and we wonder why gay men get a bad rap in todays society. Get a fuckin room, I don't care how buff you are. I go to the gym to work out, I don't socialize, I'm there to work out and not there to see men get it on in public. A little consideration is a good idea.
Nov 15 8:28 PM
JacknIndy wrote:
WOW... After reading the artical on gym sex... I wonder why it only talked about Bathhouse gym's and Gay Gym's. Yes I am Gay and have workout in gyms all over the U.S, and never workedout in a Bathhouse Gym..!, but how do you know it's a gay gym..? HUMMMM... Bally's is a gay gym to me... I gave up my memebership years ago after too much sex and old men jerking off in the shower...! I must admit I have jerked off a time or two myself..! years ago... but today is much more and not only in gay gyms and bathhouse gym.. I worked for 5 years a a high end gym that was full of married men getting each other off..! I really had a problem with that.. not only was it wrong because of being married it was wrong because of young kids are in this gym in and out of the locker rooms and wet areas of the gym to get to the swimming pool. As for the sex in other gyms gay or whatever... it is wrong.. and we all know it.! Health reason to start... and the fact the others go to the gym that do not want to be a part of it..! Like myself.. and yes I did say I have jerked off in the shower once or twice and in the steam room but I stopped if someone would walk in str8 or gay..! I more the one on one type of guy! So not real sure if I had a point... but str8 or gyms... other should stop and take it some place private.. and as for bathhouse gym... I think that's the place for that type of think... that is why we have them still today,it's just that people do not want to be see in or any place near a bath house because everybody knows what's go's on in the bath house.. or so they think..! So in answer to the articl.., Yes,I think it is harmful and un-Healthy.. in any type of gym, as for sex at a bath house gym... I think that the right place... because it's know for that type of think and other gyms are not... and members should respect other that are not into that type of thing..!
Nov 15 2:55 PM
bigguysf wrote:
I don't mind if guys do a little bit of fooling around in the steamroom, but sometimes it gets way too aggressive... like when guys come in and just start sucking someone, or when there is full on anal sex happening. And though I'm not a sexual prude in any way, that crosses the line to me. Good sexual tension and covert jo is one thing, having no regard and making others uncomfortable with inappropriate sex in a public setting is another.
Nov 15 9:06 AM
hughb wrote:
Look ..if you can get it..enjoy! I'm always on the look out,and can think of nothing sexier..than a hunk with a hardon under a towel! A quickie in the steam room...fuck..it's what life is all about...work out in the gym...release and relax ..after...wow..it makes me hot just thinking about it!
Nov 15 8:59 AM