GAY NEWS
Playing in the Closet: Homophobia in Sports
By RealJock Staff
Richard Lustberg, a leading sports therapist and insider in the world of athletics, talks to RealJock.com about homophobia in sports and what we should do to combat it.
Why do you believe homophobia in sports is still so prevalent?
There are three factors. First, it's a lack of education, sophistication, and awareness. Secondly, a lot of people are afraid of their own homosexual tendencies, that when they see these traits in someone else they get reactive. And third, I think organized religion has contributed in a way that has been very detrimental, and prevented us from coming together. I think when you put those three things together you have an awful situation.
There's been much more growth in the entertainment community [than in sports]. Coming out doesn't seem to hurt entertainers' appeal so much now. Rosie O' Donnell, for instance—I don't care whether she's gay or not: If I like her, I like her, If I don't I don't.
As an insider, do you think there's a high percentage of closeted athletes in the sports world?
I've certainly worked with gay athletes in my practice. Personally, I've been approached by gay athletes who've wanted me to have a [romantic] relationship with them, and it's fine—I'm comfortable being approached, even though I'm not going to accept the invitation. The way I look at it, it's just one human reaching out to another,
Is there a trend toward more acceptance of gays and lesbians in the sporting world? For instance, out gay tennis legend Billie Jean King just had a stadium named after her.
Many people love her. I love her, and not necessarily because she's a leader in the gay community, but because of what she's tried to do with her life and ultimately what she's done to enlighten people. But do I think there's more tolerance of gay people in sports? Yeah, I there's been growth, but I think it depends on what part of the country you live in, and who you're dealing with. It's individual-specific and situation-specific. We're far behind where we should be. I hope in my lifetime things will change for the better—in every area, whether it be religion, your sexual orientation, your color, your race, everything. The fact that we still haven't had a woman president or a gay president—these are things I'd like to see happen.
Is it still unsafe for a gay or lesbian athlete to come out?
I think it depends on who it is. The very prominent athletes are frightened about losing endorsements. A lot of [straight] sports fans and athletes are still uncomfortable with homosexuality, and it creates a stigma. For some reason, in people who can't relate to their own sexuality, homophobia kicks in.
Is there a difference in the safety level for male athlete than for female athletes?
Yeah, I think females are much more accepting. Because of their socialization, women are allowed to hug and kiss each other. You'll see two school chums, young women, walking down the street and holding hands and you think nothing of it. But if you see two men walking down the street hand in hand, people still think there's something wrong with that. That translates significantly into the sports community.
Has coming out for some athletes, say Martina Navratilova or WNBA superstar Sheryl Swoopes, hurt their careers?
Obviously, it doesn't seem to have. It seems to be old hat by now for them. Navratilova is one of the greatest tennis players ever. Gay, straight, I never look at her beyond the entertainment value and athletic prowess. I think it's personality as well. Navratilova seems to be carrying herself in a way that's a little bit more endearing than someone like Rosie [O'Donnell], who seems to be alienating a lot people—but that's not because she's gay, it's just who she is.
It seems hard for athletes in sports such as ice-skating to come out, even though the sport has great gay appeal.
You're still in danger of losing endorsements, losing some of your audience. Athletes are very afraid. They're scared, and they have a right to be. It's a sign of the times we live in. Everybody is frightened. And I don't think that's specific to homosexual people. But people have yet to feel comfortable with themselves.
How do we combat homophobia in the sports world?
A number of steps have to be taken. We need to bring in speakers [from the gay community]. We need education, which isn't valued in this society—that's why we're flying behind. Sports management should be brining in people to demystify this issue. Athletes need to know there's nothing to be worried about.
Do you think being in the closet damages athletes' performance?
That depends. When I deal with people who are homosexual, I tell them to be as comfortable as possible with who they are. But you have to look at the individual situation. There are gay people who are in the closet who are comfortable there; they're as comfortable as any heterosexual would be who has secrets. So if a person, whether homosexual or heterosexual, feels the pressure to keep a secret, it's going to affect their performance, isn't it? Ifs someone can reconcile that in his life, they should be fine, whether they're homosexual or heterosexual.
Why do you believe homophobia in sports is still so prevalent?
There are three factors. First, it's a lack of education, sophistication, and awareness. Secondly, a lot of people are afraid of their own homosexual tendencies, that when they see these traits in someone else they get reactive. And third, I think organized religion has contributed in a way that has been very detrimental, and prevented us from coming together. I think when you put those three things together you have an awful situation.
There's been much more growth in the entertainment community [than in sports]. Coming out doesn't seem to hurt entertainers' appeal so much now. Rosie O' Donnell, for instance—I don't care whether she's gay or not: If I like her, I like her, If I don't I don't.
As an insider, do you think there's a high percentage of closeted athletes in the sports world?
I've certainly worked with gay athletes in my practice. Personally, I've been approached by gay athletes who've wanted me to have a [romantic] relationship with them, and it's fine—I'm comfortable being approached, even though I'm not going to accept the invitation. The way I look at it, it's just one human reaching out to another,
Is there a trend toward more acceptance of gays and lesbians in the sporting world? For instance, out gay tennis legend Billie Jean King just had a stadium named after her.
Many people love her. I love her, and not necessarily because she's a leader in the gay community, but because of what she's tried to do with her life and ultimately what she's done to enlighten people. But do I think there's more tolerance of gay people in sports? Yeah, I there's been growth, but I think it depends on what part of the country you live in, and who you're dealing with. It's individual-specific and situation-specific. We're far behind where we should be. I hope in my lifetime things will change for the better—in every area, whether it be religion, your sexual orientation, your color, your race, everything. The fact that we still haven't had a woman president or a gay president—these are things I'd like to see happen.
Is it still unsafe for a gay or lesbian athlete to come out?
I think it depends on who it is. The very prominent athletes are frightened about losing endorsements. A lot of [straight] sports fans and athletes are still uncomfortable with homosexuality, and it creates a stigma. For some reason, in people who can't relate to their own sexuality, homophobia kicks in.
Is there a difference in the safety level for male athlete than for female athletes?
Yeah, I think females are much more accepting. Because of their socialization, women are allowed to hug and kiss each other. You'll see two school chums, young women, walking down the street and holding hands and you think nothing of it. But if you see two men walking down the street hand in hand, people still think there's something wrong with that. That translates significantly into the sports community.
Has coming out for some athletes, say Martina Navratilova or WNBA superstar Sheryl Swoopes, hurt their careers?
Obviously, it doesn't seem to have. It seems to be old hat by now for them. Navratilova is one of the greatest tennis players ever. Gay, straight, I never look at her beyond the entertainment value and athletic prowess. I think it's personality as well. Navratilova seems to be carrying herself in a way that's a little bit more endearing than someone like Rosie [O'Donnell], who seems to be alienating a lot people—but that's not because she's gay, it's just who she is.
It seems hard for athletes in sports such as ice-skating to come out, even though the sport has great gay appeal.
You're still in danger of losing endorsements, losing some of your audience. Athletes are very afraid. They're scared, and they have a right to be. It's a sign of the times we live in. Everybody is frightened. And I don't think that's specific to homosexual people. But people have yet to feel comfortable with themselves.
How do we combat homophobia in the sports world?
A number of steps have to be taken. We need to bring in speakers [from the gay community]. We need education, which isn't valued in this society—that's why we're flying behind. Sports management should be brining in people to demystify this issue. Athletes need to know there's nothing to be worried about.
Do you think being in the closet damages athletes' performance?
That depends. When I deal with people who are homosexual, I tell them to be as comfortable as possible with who they are. But you have to look at the individual situation. There are gay people who are in the closet who are comfortable there; they're as comfortable as any heterosexual would be who has secrets. So if a person, whether homosexual or heterosexual, feels the pressure to keep a secret, it's going to affect their performance, isn't it? Ifs someone can reconcile that in his life, they should be fine, whether they're homosexual or heterosexual.
ruskie2 wrote:
I'm involved at a very high level (competitively and professionally) in the very 'straight' sport of skydiving, and for the last 5 or 6 years it has been my profession as well - working for a manufacturer of parachutes and related products. A couple years ago, my "secret" became known to a few people. Word kinda spread around about it, but to my own surprise, most people just did not really give a sh*t. A few of my mates asked me if the rumour was true, and were shocked when I replied yes, but have accepted it completely. Its hardly ever spoken about, people know about me and my partner of 7 years, and we are accepted. That acceptance has really helped me personally though, and I think has enabled me to progress further in the sport, focus a LOT more in my training and competion, and in general been very good for me because I no longer have hidden thoughts and fears continuously playing on my mind when training and competing. My 2 cents worth... Guys, thanks for a great website btw!
Dave - South Africa
Nov 16 8:09 AM
simonca wrote:
As a guy who's been playing team sport at an high level for quite a long time, I have to say that the main reason why gay guy don't speak about their sexuality is because talking about it means talk about it with everyone. You don't really get to choose who will know and who won't. And because it will involved many persons with different mentalities, you know that even if most of the people will be fine with it, there will always be some who will be really uncomfortable with it. Plus, if you're cool with taking your shower and stuff like that with your teammates, you don't want the situation to become unkward. But I think it depends on the context. When you're competing at an international level, the sport becomes more of a job than a place to hang out with friends... I didn't feel the need to talk about it. Personnaly, I came to a point where i wouldn't want to lie if the question was asked, but I wouldn't «officialy» come out to my teammates either. Maybe it's more about the relationship that you have with them...
Nov 04 1:15 AM
collegewrestlerny wrote:
Some guys find it easy to come out because they are well supported by their friends and family, others because the sport isnt inherently "homophobic," or the area they live in accepts that better. However, as was brought up the opposite is true. Obviously in some sports like wrestling or most combat sports for that matter arent as easy to come out. Sure there are a couple "success" stories but how many are still doing it? How many are on the US team for example? THey might be gay but they arent out. The issue is quite an interesting one indeed.
Nov 03 2:55 AM